Gaysi: The Gay Desi - Yes, we're legal!

Amusing, no doubt. But a harsh reality of the times we live in. Now if only love could be a little more appealing. 

This recent post on Gaysi by Chicklet has got me thinking about a conversation I had some time ago with a very good friend of mine. We were generally chitty-chatting about our current partners (yes…shoot me), when somewhat out of context she remarked – “At least I know with her all can be sorted in bed”.

Now I consider myself a very sexual person. Yes, the sorts who regard sexual chemistry much higher than…let’s say one’s intellectualness. But I do believe that matters of importance….issues which require serious attention…should to be sorted outside the bed room and not init.

The sole reason being; there’s no real communication (sorry Missy, Oooosss and aahsss don’t exactly fall under this category). A discussion over sex is more like turning a blind eye and telling the heart “Aal izz well”. Yet many of us continue to follow this trend of replacing conversation with sex.

Fucked up no? And yours truly at times is no different.

Anyway without beating around the bush (no pun intended), tell me Ladies and let’s be honest here how many of you out there use sex as way of getting out of serious one-on-one talk with their partner. Or who’s been in a situation where in their partner’s response to “We need to talk!” has only ended up in pinning the other in bed.

[Guest Author: Chicklet]

The greatest factor that keeps us all going. One factor that plays the key role in how long a relationship will last.

Communication
The art of listening
Team work
Common goals
Respecting each other’s differences
Common spirituality
Honesty
Compatibility
Love [not referring to our modern day version of love; but the true unconditional lurrrrve]
Laughter
Fidelity
Conversations
.
.

These seem to be vital factors that keep a relationship going for most same sex couples around me.

But what about Sex? And Passion? And Romance? Why do we end up taking a relationship for granted once we attain a certain level intimacy? We tend to assume that we’re regular partners. We forget to work on the rough edges and re-work on the smooth ones.

Is it amazing when two people express romance through small gifts, romantic night outs, sharing chocolate fudge on cold winter nights, pretty sunsets, earth shaking sex in the bedroom?

Or when romance is explored from the desire to create something new…something fun… beautiful and then surrender to it completely?

It would be immature of me to ignore the fundamental heterogeneity of human personality & consider that one thing works for all. It has to be an inquiry within each of us…right?

So here’s my bit….

All the building blocks are lying in the form of crayons in some drawer of my being. And I’m picking up red to celebrate her in my life and tell her that I wake up smiling because I’m so in love with her. And a bit of pink to convey … umm playfulness?

Twenty five years ago, Thingring fell in love with Roinachi who was serving as a domestic help in a family which allegedly tortured her. They soon married in a temple with Hindu rites. A shocked Fakiraguri village which had not even heard of gay relationships immediately ostracised them. They moved home and settled down in nearby Simlaguri village.

“Had we feared we couldn’t have got married,” said Thingring, husband.

They say it’s a marriage made in heaven.

“We have never had any marital discord. We are very happy together,” said Roinachi, wife. [NDTV]

Awesomeness. Though I can’t help but wonder; who did put the “husband” & “wife” label? The women themselves decided to enact the gender game or the Media assigned them these roles simply based on their relationship modus operandi – husband, the one who brings in the money & the one cooking is the wife. So very freaking apt.

Once upon a time there lived a King and his Queen. In a mystical place called Swades, also called Hindustan, depending on which actor you fancy (Shahrukh Khan or Hrthik Roshan).

Now it’s an inconsequential matter that the King and Queen were both males. Yes, you read it right – the King and Queen both belonged to the same gender – but the ill-informed people of Hindustan conveniently ignored this (as mentioned, inconsequential) detail.

You see in Hindustan, Homosexuality had only recently stepped out in the open after years of outofclosetphobia. To stand up against Hindustan’s fanaticism towards hetro-norms, believe you me, wasn’t as easy as Salman Khan stripping off his shirt.

They (the King and his King and their band of  loyal supporters)  did succeed to a large extent in making their presence felt. What they did not anticipate however was the power of Hindustani people and their hetro-focused viewing lenses.

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India is a phunny country; an orthodox bitch to the extent of choking one’s sensibilities and the next minute turning into this fabulous woman high on progressive pills.

I remember donkeys of years ago (yes I am getting old and pressuring the memory nerve is….hmmm…nerve wrecking)…so anyway…Mr. Senior Bachchan was the main organizer and one of the judges for some International Beauty Pageant.  Keeping story short; certain NGOs along with various groups dedicated to the “Save Bharatiya Nari” andolan made his life a living nightmare. Because you see, we Bharatiya ladies don’t flaunt their hips, flash flat bellies (if lucky enough to have such a thing), flicker their eyes, cash in those seductive vibes and hai…narg main bhasm ho if they even think of wearing that vulgar export from videsh called “swimwear”. *In case wondering, no the same rule is not applicable to certain Bollywood size zero heroines*

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