Do I Look Gay Enough?


Blame it on the main stream media, Bollywood, sheer ignorance or whatever the fuck but the truth of the matter is that our Indian society refuses to think out of the box in the matters of Homosexuality.

And I am not even talking about grave issues like discrimination, forced marriages and IPC 377. The cause of my agony is actually something as inconsequential as one’s physical appearance.

The deal is this…

Whenever I have mentioned my sexual orientation to a close friend (or a relative or mere acquaintance), the very first reaction that gets thrown at my face is – But you don’t look Gay! And needless to say that this baba aadum ke zamane ka dialogue pisses me off to no ends.

Seriously no kidding, I have heard this kind of bullshit even from the likes of those who are expected to be well-informed. A professional counsellor who firstly felt the need to confirm that I meant ‘lesbian’ when I classified myself as Gay. And then went on to inform those concerned that her patient is not a homosexual but only a confused soul. Her diagnoses had a lot to do with my physical presence and my words mattered zilch.

Then there was the family friend, a well-known gynaecologist. He too just like his recommended counsellor, harped on words like “confused”, “emotionally withdrawn”, “depression”, “heterosexual”…blah blah blah. End verdict; definitely not Gay.

What makes matters even more unbearable is when these ill-informed folks claim to possess all the required worldly information. “I know what Lesbians look like and you are not one” – RM 2’s wife retorted back when I confessed about my Gayness. The woman continues to live in denial and I don’t give a damn.

It’s no wonder that such stereotypical mentality makes even the most possible task an impossible one. Acceptance of Homosexuality in India, you must be freaking out of your mind!

And for the bloody last time – Not all Gay men exhibit feminine qualities and not all Gay women dress up as men. We come in all colors, shapes and sizes. Just like the rest of you. Got it!

About the author


Now 30, 100% shudh desi lesbian. Likes living large, and on the edge. Dislikes stagnation, fence sitting and hypocrites. Lives in a bubble of joy, with occasional lapses into drama queendom. Currently nursing a massive crush on actress Chitrangada Singh (kind of eerie, her resemblance to the late Smita Patil, don’t you think?). Aspires to build a fully functional support system for the Gaysi community in India. And most importantly, top the 'Hottest eligible desi-lezzie' list one bright sunny day.