My First Coming Out

One of my best friends, V, is staying with The Girl & me for a week. V is the kind of crazy, non-judgmental, affectionate friend that everyone should have at least one of.

V was the first friend I ever came out to. He knew of all the problems I was having with my ex husband (they used to be very close friends too.) and had been trying to counsel me. When The Girl & I fell in love, I felt like I couldn’t talk to any of my friends about it because not only was I having an affair, but I was having a lesbian affair.

One day on the phone with V, I started crying and he asked me if there was was someone else. I said, “Yes it’s a woman”. His reply: “omg! Ex is having an affair?!”

I recall laughing through my tears when he said this. I corrected him and told him that actually it was me that was having the affair. I waited for the disapproval, but all I got was acceptance. He didn’t condone the fact that I was having an affair, but he handled the whole thing with so much care and consideration that I remember getting off the phone and feeling like a heavy weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

Perhaps his way of dealing with this was a good omen – everyone I came out to after that day reacted with nothing but love and acceptance.

V, his wife and I have had a tumultous friendship. We’ve fought and made up several times over small things and big things. I still fight with him when he says he understands why the ex thought it was ok to blackmail me for money. I’ve even issued a very George Bush like ultimatum to him: “You’re either on my side or the ex’s side”. The thing is I would never tell any other common friends of mine & the ex this, except V & his wife. Through all our ups and downs the one constant thing has been the fact that this is a friendship that will endure and when we’re 60 (well when I’m 60 and they’re like 85) we’ll still be friends.

Cross posted (with minor edits on BroomBox.)

Tags: Relationships