My First Coming Out

One of my best friends, V, is staying with The Girl & me for a week. V is the kind of crazy, non-judgmental, affectionate friend that everyone should have at least one of.

V was the first friend I ever came out to. He knew of all the problems I was having with my ex husband (they used to be very close friends too.) and had been trying to counsel me. When The Girl & I fell in love, I felt like I couldn’t talk to any of my friends about it because not only was I having an affair, but I was having a lesbian affair.

One day on the phone with V, I started crying and he asked me if there was was someone else. I said, “Yes it’s a woman”. His reply: “omg! Ex is having an affair?!”

I recall laughing through my tears when he said this. I corrected him and told him that actually it was me that was having the affair. I waited for the disapproval, but all I got was acceptance. He didn’t condone the fact that I was having an affair, but he handled the whole thing with so much care and consideration that I remember getting off the phone and feeling like a heavy weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

Perhaps his way of dealing with this was a good omen – everyone I came out to after that day reacted with nothing but love and acceptance.

V, his wife and I have had a tumultous friendship. We’ve fought and made up several times over small things and big things. I still fight with him when he says he understands why the ex thought it was ok to blackmail me for money. I’ve even issued a very George Bush like ultimatum to him: “You’re either on my side or the ex’s side”. The thing is I would never tell any other common friends of mine & the ex this, except V & his wife. Through all our ups and downs the one constant thing has been the fact that this is a friendship that will endure and when we’re 60 (well when I’m 60 and they’re like 85) we’ll still be friends.

Cross posted (with minor edits on BroomBox.)

About the author


Broom lived an ordinary, boring, unhappy and married life till she met the woman that she fell madly in love with at the age of twenty eight. By day, she is a techie. By night - a Walking Dead addict, London exploring, rainbow-loving, champagne socialist.