Tum Gay Ho?

Over the decades, urban Indian parents have chipped away one reservation after another in the interests of their children’s well-being. Most parents today easily accept that their children may marry someone outside their caste, creed, and even race. They accept their children’s drinking, dressing, and dates. But even the most liberal parents are finding it difficult to consider the possibility that their child may be gay. [Link]

This is a piece written by Manju Sara Rajan for Open Magazine, which briefly touches on the subject of straight Indian parents and their homosexual children.

For a moment it took me back to 80s & very early 90s filmy scenarios. You know the bit where hi-fi bling bling parents learning that their beloved, overly pampered eklauta child has fallen in love, in a high pitched tone utter these very words – Love…tumhe love ho gaya? How dare?

My apologies for this amusing flashback, but the situation today is pretty much the same no? Replace Love with Gay and you have – Tum Gay ho? How dare?

The other day I was asked by a friend if the recent Delhi High Court ruling of IPC 377 would make it easier for gay kids to come out to their families. Honestly, there is no doubt that the ruling will make lives of the Queer folks a hell lot easier. But, how it impacts the thinking process of our very culturally-centric society is something that we will have to only wait and watch.

Parents, no matter how liberated or modern they come across, no matter how educated they are and no matter how much they love us, are aam junta (the Mango people) who are society bound. A fact we, unfortunately, cannot ignore. They can imagine the worst and possibly the most outrageous outcome for someone else’s child and, at times be mind-bogglingly accepting of another’s rebellious actions but when it comes to their own flesh and blood – “How dare?” is a universal response.

About the author


Now 30, 100% shudh desi lesbian. Likes living large, and on the edge. Dislikes stagnation, fence sitting and hypocrites. Lives in a bubble of joy, with occasional lapses into drama queendom. Currently nursing a massive crush on actress Chitrangada Singh (kind of eerie, her resemblance to the late Smita Patil, don’t you think?). Aspires to build a fully functional support system for the Gaysi community in India. And most importantly, top the 'Hottest eligible desi-lezzie' list one bright sunny day.