First the stereotype. People often think of lesbians as having short-hair, their upper lips unwaxed, their clothes manly, their behaviour closely resembling a man. While this is true of some lesbians, it is not true for others. Think Portia De Rossi. Think Cynthia Nixon. Sorry I don’t have any Indian examples for you. If you’ll take my word for it, I can tell you that I know desi lesbians that are feminine and girly and I know desi lesbians that are boyish and I know some that are in between.
So if your daughter does not wear saris and salwar kameezes or wears baggy jeans with flannel shirts, don’t assume that she’s a lesbian. On the other hand, if your daughter does dress in a very feminine manner and has a beauty parlour appointment every 2 weeks, that doesn’t mean she is straight.
Not very helpful, I know. What can I say – there is nothing really that makes someone a lesbian other than their attraction to women. The culture in India makes it even harder to guess one’s sexuality, because there is so much affection between people of the same gender.
In my case, I had tons of crushes on girls right from the ripe age of 12. I had crushes on my friends, my teachers, tennis players (I had a HUGE poster of Jennifer Capriati on my bedroom wall), actresses (Madhuri Dixit, Dimple Kapadia mmmm). The thing is I didn’t realise it, but it should have been obvious to anyone paying attention – I liked girls.
So pay attention to your child. This does not mean that you should rifle through her stuff or try to hack into her email account or pick up the extension phone and eavesdrop on her phone calls.
At the end of the day, if you’ve asked this question – “How do I know?” – it hopefully means that you suspect something but haven’t been a drama queen about it. It means that you want to understand this and so whether your child is a lesbian or not – she has a good parent in you.
Very very interesting. I fall in the category of the ones resembling a man. Trust me, I find it really challenging visiting Parlours. I always get explicit instructions as how to stretch for threading etc. And I always hear giglings and often catch suppressed mysterious smiles, and yes, also feel other customer’s eyes on me all the time.
Forget about picking something for functions. I would be realy glad if someone cud do that for me. I am really hopeless 
…
By this time, I have learnt to laugh with them at my ignorance about girly-stuffs..:D. I really find it extremely hard to shop for myself.
One more: My parents know about this big lacking element in me as a female.
who only likes females till now.
Also, I have met only straight females so far, may be bi, to be more precise. I really haven’t met a single lesbian
Where did u find all three types? I am really curious.
@DK: When I fell in love with TG, I called myself ‘bisexual’ to ease into being gay. This is not uncommon! Not that everyone who says they are bi is actually gay.
Anyway, I met these people through my other blog. Blogging saved my life, I swear!
yahoo
…!!!
Hey Broom, how did you met TG and who really broke the ice? Well, can we have another post where everyone can share their love stories [:P]…plz..plz..!!!
Big yay to “Jennifer Capriati” … OMG, she is totally cute!
BTW, I would wonder why parents would even bother to find out? How does it even matter? I would rather put my thoughts in making my child happy and loving rather than being worried about whom she is going to knock. Come on momma. If you really care for your child, most probably she and her partner are going to love you and take care of you at old times. Just chill.
I’ve always been different, I never have been a girly girl, and I’ve never been boy crazy. When I was 12 I had my first crush on a girl. I thought there was something wrong with me at first. But, until last year I didn’t know my real truth until one day it just hit me. I knew I was a lesbian. It’s still hard for me to accept, and I think I’ll get through this soon.
Give yourself time. It gets better, trust me.
Did you know you had a crush on her at first? how, exactly, did you figure it out? I’m 14 years old, and i’m trying to figure out if i’m a lesbian (or bi).
btw, what does ‘desi’ mean?
@Rashmi I agree with you.
Why should parents worry if your child is gay or straight just support them and love them the way they are so they wont turn into a Rebel.
I realise i’m gay when i was 9years old. Even since i was a kiddo i used to have a crush on girls. I used to think something is wrong and then once when i was going through some article in newspaper i came to know that i’m not abnormal as i used to think about myself.
I came out in front of my mom and then i got a suprise when she told me ‘i knew that before you told, but i wanted you to be sure about it’.
So now its been 9years and am happyly Gay and totally out and its all cos of my mom’s support. And ya i’ve been a topic of people and a victim of raised Eyebrows from many but it dosnt bother me anymore coz i’m totally comfortable being who i’m.