I have never broken up with anyone before. I have always been dumped. Even if I did do the dumping, I don’t think I have the chutzpah to carry it off. I would probably end up feeling sorely guilty. “What if I made a big mistake? What if this was my soul mate? I have to call him before he moves on.. I must undo it”. Yeah, that’d be me. I want to know what its like to feel free after a break up. I want to know what each of my boyfriends must have felt when they dumped me. What does it feel like to feel free? What is it like to be fishing for the other minnow in that proverbial big sea? What is it like to see your ex’s number flashing on your phone and casually clicking on “reject” with the same disdain you reserve for a telemarketer? How does one see a familiar name in the email and not have butterflies in the stomach? What does it feel like to hear a song you’ve have always played while you made out?
I could tell you how I feel.
I can’t listen to Pink Floyd or John Mayer or Coldplay ever again. He’s made it impossible for me to enjoy them without pining for him. I can’t ever have my pictures taken because I wouldn’t like what I see. He was a pro-photographer you see and I had never posed for anyone else before. I can’t ever walk the streets of Bangalore, again. No, no that city would smother me to death with all the memories it holds at every street corner and every jug of beer. And then there is that whole slew of movies we watched together, that’s completely ruined for me now.
So, what does it feel like to be on the other side? I bet it must feel awesome, because being here, just sucks.
xoxo (I...
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we all wish we hadn’t fallen so hard…
but you know and I know there’s a sexy tomorrow.
U will fall in love again & it will another crazy ride .. it is inevitable
Ps: Good writing!
Thanks for the encouragement Chicklet. I couldn’t even read this post, after I wrote it because it was embarrassing to see it there on screen. April 1, seemed like a good day to start afresh. Sammy, it will be soon before long. MJ&Broom, thank you for having me here.
Babes, been there done that. In fact been on both sides. Break ups in my opinion are very overrated.
Bottom line is…one day you will wake up and realize its all behind you. So fret not.
@ Chicklet – And yes, falling in love…its a bloody bug.
Wow feels like you are speaking my words. My thoughts. My feelings.
I guess it hits the hardest when it comes without prior knowledge. No warning signs. No notice period. Just hits you like a rock.
But I know I won’t stay here too long. I won’t let me.
It will be all good. For you too.
Loved this post, Cathartist.
Love’s a bitch – no matter which side of her wrath you’re on.