I have observed something (even in the Q community) – that when someone says they are “Queer”, people just assume they are “gay”. This was much more on my face and it reminded me starkly as I read the banner that was carried over by a Bisexual group in the parade – “Don’t assume anything!”. It was heart wrenching to see only ONE Bisexual group of about a dozen people walk by in a sea of 182 contingents during the parade – one that lasted just shy of 4 hours. For F*’s sake, there were more “straight for gays” groups than the B or the T. So what really makes the Bisexuals not come out and embrace the rest? Or is it just the numbers?
At a personal level, I have been curious to understand the dilemma faced by the Bi folks. In a world where heterosexual and monogamous relationships are considered the norm and sacred (albeit foolishly), I really would like to request those who are Bi leaning come out and talk about it, so we all can understand. I would like to understand their struggle in trying to cope up with the rest of the straight or the gay community. Do they feel a misfit at either ends? I have had people in the community tell me that they associate Bisexuality as being a wrapper for “a person not being able to accept their gayness completely”. I think this is total BS. I view Bisexuality as just a beautiful addition to the colorful spectrum of human sexuality.
Sometimes I have wondered- “If people are talking about natural attraction, Isn’t bisexuality the most plausible? If I find someone attractive, does it really matter what’s between their legs?”
Anyways, it all started with this article that I stumbled upon recently. [Link]
xoxo (I...
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For me, being bi is simultaneously amazing and really terrible.
In some ways, it’s nice, because, at least where I live, straight people tend to be more willing to accept someone who comes out as bi than someone who comes out as a lesbian. However, I feel like a lot of that “acceptance” comes from the idea of the “Katy Perry lesbian” – the girl who makes out with other girls just for the thrill, and therefore isn’t a “threat” to straight women. And from the fact that straight men are turned on by the idea of a bi woman, because they think bisexuality means a threesome, where both women are attending to him.
I think it’s been hard to deal with reactions from within the LGBT community. A lot of lesbians won’t date bi women because of the idea that bisexual girls are promiscuous, or just seeking a pastime while they look for another guy. There is also the idea, especially among my age group, that bi girls are LUG’s….Lesbians Until Graduation, that we get our kicks from women until we hit the “real world” and then adopt hetero identities. Which obviously isn’t true. Admittedly, I sometimes hope that whoever I want to spend my life with is a male, because it would make things a lot easier with my family, but I would never shack up with a dude just for his phallus. Bi, for me, doesn’t mean “choosing” – I can’t pick whether I want to be with a man or a woman, I am attracted to people, and gender doesn’t restrict me in going after the qualities of a person that I like.
I think the hardest thing about being bi is feeling like I have to justify it to people. People either think my liking women is “a phase”, or they think that I only like men because I “can’t accept” that I’m a lesbian.
The best thing? I can love whoever I want, and I can have fun with whatever comes in their pants
You’ve hit it right on. Being bisexual is not being gay in denial. It’s a wonderful appreciation of the human form and the human mind ,,, of both sexes. It’s not a pity party, and by my estimation, most bisexual men don’t care about the general consensus. They quietly go about their lives, often trying to deal with their sexuality from their own perspective. The dilemma a good number of bisexual married men have is that they often don’t fully discover their same-sex attraction until long after they’ve been married, a subject I deal with in my novel “Five Married Men.” The emotions and the conflicts can be quite intense, for wives, too, if she has been made aware of her husband’s sexuality.
I wrote a post nearly two weeks on how being bi sometimes scares the shit outta me. Most times its awesome, coz I can walk down a street an check everyone out, but then there’s time when I think to myself “wtf is up with me?” And then of course, there’s all those things miss zero said. And in India its soo, soo much worse.
I hate having to justify my sexuality to people. I have bets on with four or five friends on whether I’m going to hook up with a girl in the next twelve months or not. And once I’ve done that, there’ll be another bunch betting on me hooking up with a guy.
So all you 100% dykes out there, I wouldn’t dump you for a guy just because he has a dick. I’d dump you for him if I liked him more. But then, I might dump you for another girl just as easily. Does that make it easier for you?