Remember that scene from the L Word where Shane, Alice and Helena are running around with gaydar guns, seeing if they can figure out Jenny’s orientation? Since then, I’ve always wished I had one of them. I have always, always have crushes on straight women. Always. And I haven’t got gaydar. So, hoping to disprove that theory I took The Gaydar Test. And scored 40%. Which one might think isn’t all that bad, but most of the people on that test were obviously gay. You don’t need gaydar to know that. My ten year old cousin would know.
But to illustrate my problem I’ll give you some stats: I’ve had crushes on seven girls so far, and every one of them’s turned out to be straight. Tragedy. What’s worse- the women that are obviously gay aren’t my type. I don’t mean to stereotype people, but one’s entitled to have a ‘type’, aren’t they? I studied in a college where I met over nine hundred people, out of whom roughly four hundred odd were women. Someone must’ve been gay. After all, WHO studies say that one out of every ten people is gay. Taking into account that we’re not a progressive, western nation lets accept a figure of 5%, which still meant there should’ve been twenty sapphically inclined women. And I couldn’t identify even one. Except me.
Now I’m in Bangalore which is supposed to be one of India’s gayest cities. And I see straight women everywhere I go. So unless we have some Planet kind of place here, my gaydar isn’t going to get any better.
Yes, I know about the tell tale signs- the short hair (and while I fight to prove this wrong, I’m an example), the clothes and the mannerisms. Beyond that I’m clueless. Kiran Bedi is all that, but she’s straight. And married. So I could follow the “signs” and still be stumped. Because I don’t know how to identify a gay women. A friend of a friend looked at a photograph of me and said that she got a “vibe”. I wish she’d tell me what this “vibe” is, so I could identify it when I see it.
So you see, I could be sitting next to a lesbian every day and wouldn’t know it. Do you have Gaydar, dear Gaysis?
xoxo (I...
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Hahaha. Loved your post. I scored a 66% on the Gaydar test. Date only straight women. And yes, its tragic – we’re doomed!
None whatsoever
So I rather rely on the “gay scene” here to produce potential dates. and 60% on the thing. well well.
And I scored 80%
. Did bad in then boys section. Not that I really care about this.
I think I have a decent Gaydar. Guess its something that comes with time & experience. You girls will get there, keep the faith!
nope! just got 50%
can this also mean that i mistake straight women to be gay ??
@zikr – you are so right! we’re doomed.
@MJ – The test was so lame. I’ve a pretty strong Gaydar too. Not that I’ve much use of it anyway.
Its so limiting…don’t you think? If I like someone or find someone attractive…I don’t wanna be sitting tuning my Gaydar, waiting for it to tell me whether I should go for it or not. Such a waste of time! :p
@Chicklet: I meant both Jane Doe and I’re doomed for liking em straight. I’m sure she knows what I mean.
Bout the Gaydar..don’t let it stop you! What was that theory bout all of us being bisexuals…? 
Totally agree with you. Why limit ourselves? “Jo maan ko bhaye wohi rang rasiya”…
And if I look at my track record, I have in fact dated more straight women than gay. In fact I even have good record in helping them realize their preferred sexuality.
talk of good karma.. MJ to the rescue
I scored 80% & I have a pretty sucky gaydar.
On a more serious note – how progressive we are as a nation, won’t have a connection with how many people as a percentage are gay or straight. I don’t think being gay is a Western or progressive idea.
oh not in the number of gay people, but certainly in the number of us who are attuned to our own sexuality and know who we are. which means less people givin out that “vibe”
Ah! Ok, sorry – I misunderstood. Thanks for explaining.
I don’t think I have one. But I think its because I refuse to stereotype…
See, I have the opposite problem – I’m the very, very queer girl who “looks” and “acts” very, very “straight”, and therefore gets ignored by all the other women. The one time I went to a lezzie dance club, the bouncer almost refused to let me in thinking I was a straight girl out on a lark to bum free drinks by being a tease. Short of tattooing a rainbow on my forehead, I wouldn’t really make it onto most people’s gaydar.
My gaydar is decent, but then, it’s been cultivated slowly over time. And sometimes I can’t tell with military women. I think being in the closet for so long (okay, so I’m still mostly in the closet) really made me seek out people I could relate to and therefore my skills were honed :-p
Umm.. excuse, but when did being bisexual become being curious?
I have pretty good gaydar, but I’m not necessarily Gay.
I think its high time we sensitize ourselves to issues within the community. Really Gaysi, give us Bisexuals some visibility already… or are you’ll exclusively pro gay?
Apphia,
The author of this post identifies as bisexual. She’s also one of our main authors and has a lot of visibility. We never censor her posts or tell her what she can or can’t write about. Actually, we don’t do that with any of our authors or with people who leave comments – unless it’s spam or homophobic.
I’m not sure why you feel we’re marginalising bisexuals but we would more than welcome posts from you on being bi or anything else you’d wish to write about (as long as it was relevant to the LGBT community).
@Apphia I second Broom here. I fill up the T space of the LGBT and we definitely cater to everyone’s opinion here that covers all queer and straight identifying people.
Absolutely. I must agree with Broom. I did address your point on bisexual visibility in your other comment. Like I said, I did think there was zero visibility and pretty low acceptance of bisexuals when I began, but I’m coming to think its more about not understanding us than being non-supportive or non-inclusive.
Well i got 70% but apparently was better at men than women…So can’t help you out
… Besides, while taking it, i could sense, i was influenced by the signs on this post….
I didn’t do bad as i expected. I got 70% and i was better at recognising girls than guys and thats all i need. lol.
i mainly looked for rainbow coloured decorations, piercings, i guess short hair and mysterious types of looks that suggest more than the ordinary person. i dont know if that helps. lol.
You are absolutely right . The statistics don<t work. Rather they work only in some parts of Mumbai and Delhi ( specifically on gay parade days)
Even whirlwinding in cyberspace forever ..to actually meet someone will need divine intervention
turned 34 in kanpur .no luck ( after the wooooooosh brief affair in CLASS XII)
pl God get some thing move in these small towns
shivani
Hey Jane Doe , Shivani
I think statistics works mostly for people who are doing research. the big problem I think is that with all this talk ,…..one feels ok there must be someone for me?? the whole face book is buzzing with women, partys everything on/ so there must be some one for me?/ right??
now when you look out ,all cousins, friends, and everyone you know is married to a man getting married to a man or hurting not having a man
There is one smal group on face book which ABOUT small town LGBT
and hey ho, not ONE small town lesbian connect is there?
the stories also are so far away the images of wmn –so different from the lives so many of us lead… Can we –all of us from areas where it isnt raining lesbians –and wont — build some small network ?
Vinita
@shivani
i so agree with u on this small town thing…it gets so frustrating sometimes! something must be done for small town gaysis!!!
AmBeR,,Jane Doe, Shivani, and Vinita,
Are to kuch karo yaar …. small town doesn,’t mean only small town defined as that which is not a metro . sometimes I think even places like Chennai , Bangalore, and I would say many parts of Delhi which are not really small towns , but have extremely closed mindset , and the urge to enforce it . And every one can’t come and build a life in Mumbai/Goa /Pune
so lets think of something for to connect those outside the pink quadrangle
Mumbai /Goa / Pune – South Delhi
Bladerunner
i can identify a gay guy anywhere but when it comes to women i am clueless…..all the women i have had crushes on have turned out to be straight…. i need a plce like The Planet…!