What does a woman look for in another woman? I could probably ask what a woman looks for in a partner, but I assume it’s not the same thing. I for one, look for very different, almost opposite qualities in men and women. But from what I understand, it probably works differently for gay women.
I’d like the man I’m with to be protective, a little dominating perhaps, and be the provider and that sort of thing. If I’m with a woman, I imagine I’d be all those things.
I’ve been stumped by this little question of mine for quite a while. I’ve come considerably closer to figuring out what men want in women, but I have no answers to this.
I’ll cite myself as a case. It is a fairly well acknowledged fact among those who know me that women like me. Not in a sexual way particularly, they just respond to me a whole lot more. It has happened with all kinds of women- it happened when I was in college, the women at work like me, random people I meet.
But I rarely, if ever, get such a reaction from men. Not that I have issues with men, or that I am not comfortable with them. It’s just that they don’t respond to me in the same way that women do. Which I must admit is very disappointing; especially since finding a gay woman isn’t the easiest thing in the world.
Now this whole business has me very puzzled. I haven’t the faintest clue what that thing is, that makes women love me and makes men think I’m a total retard. If you ask my opinion, it all has its roots in the fact that I think men are far more judgemental and narrow minded in their thinking. So my hair makes men think I’m a weirdo, while women think I’m cool, or I have guts. And so on and so forth.
I think I’ve been rambling all over the place, so back to the original question- What do women look for in other women? Or, what makes a woman popular with other women? If you help me figure that out, I can continue doing what I’m clearly doing right, or wrong. Depending on whether you see it through XX or XY eyes.
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JD – Pertinent Question! Something we’d all like an answer to which we can file away
I won’t comment on men – because I have fabulous platonic relationships with a lot of men, and its never ever moved beyond a buddy status just because I am who I am.
My take on the question however is – I’d look for a woman who seeks an equal relationship. Who thinks its fine to be as much a provider and giver as I am – Be it opening doors, lending a jacket, a shoulder to lean on, tops & bottoms in bed, extravagant/simple romantic gestures, domestics like cooking, making the first move after an argument and I could go on and on. Regardless of how we express externally the point on the gender spectrum we feel we lie on, I think between two people its a sense of mutual intimacy of ‘we want the same from each other and are willing to give it’ that makes a woman appealing, or at least to me.
Coz you know…I love buying women flowers! But I love getting some too
QC has said it all! Just what do I say?
Jane Doe – Nice Idea using this space to make life easier!
My role descriptions would be like yours when it comes to a man and a woman. But as characteristics of the person, it’d be the same – I’d want him/her to be respectful, open-minded, with a good sense of humor, a decent head over the shoulders and the feet grounded. And must love dogs!
Yah I gotta agree with QC too – especially when it comes to having a successful, long-lasting relationship.
If you ask me I would say there is no set pattern for the simple reason that chemistry between two individuals differs from lets say chemistry between pairing up with another individual. For example; I have been the dominating partner with some women and with some others I have been the one to be taken care off.
I guess its all about exploring the other and ourselves when we are with them.
I think it just comes down to the 2 people in question(assuming monogamous relationships is what we are talking here). I would not want to differentiate between giver and provider and so on. To me, it is just a mutual love for each other – my partner should be able to love me at my shittiest best and I would do the same for her. It doesn’t matter whether the other person is male, female, man, woman, …. I would rather prefer a relationship where we are for each other wholeheartedly- with each of us sharing the load of giver, provider, at different times in our lives. Sometimes at different times on the same day.
It all seems very idyllic … isn’t that probably why a lot of us are in and out and in again in relationships, cynical and happy to fall in love again. Equality is good but we all have preferences (pardon that one!). As I was told when someone was tryin to do a polite blow-off ” I can’t settle for Blue if I want Red”.
I have been with women who did not like Dogs, thought Bollywood music sucked and fidelity was a company whose market value was dropping. But yes, we stuck on 4 years.
So if i were to really ask you to dig inside and be honest…and not exclusively from a relationship angle…What would U look for in your woman?
Women first – QC says it so well. Let me just quote – unquote:
” I’d look for a woman who seeks an equal relationship. Who thinks its fine to be as much a provider and giver as I am – Be it opening doors, lending a jacket, a shoulder to lean on, tops & bottoms in bed, extravagant/simple romantic gestures, domestics like cooking, making the first move after an argument and I could go on and on. Regardless of how we express externally the point on the gender spectrum we feel we lie on, I think between two people its a sense of mutual intimacy of ‘we want the same from each other and are willing to give it’ that makes a woman appealing, or at least to me.
Coz you know…I love buying women flowers! But I love getting some too!”
….I’m leaning pretty high towards the ladies on Kinsey. When (very exceptionally) I do like men – I go for perfection. Drop dead gorgeous looks, generosity, a sense of humour, protectiveness, intelligence – he must be super fit & metrosexual and be willing to dance around trees after being Mr. Perfect! Thats the only way a man will get time of day from me!! (I’m shallow like that!)
Sorry – the standards for men are that much higher! I am more Gay! LOL
Depth & passion is a must irrespective of gender! a PASSION and zest for life. I like slightly bohemian & unconventional people who are willing to try out new things and who like to travel (cause I do!).
Beyond everything – yes, there is the XX factor. The inexplicable xx that explains why sometimes even the most stunning person in the world would leave you cold, and the girl next door would own your heart! Sigh!!
and yes – an increasingly big criteria for women is – being queer, cute & available!! physically, I am most attracted to feminine & pretty women. mentally, I like my girl to be strong – a balance of yin & yang! a sense of humour always wins as does an ability to tolerate / nay appreciate essay length FB posts & comments on websites
) And yes – passionate – both inside & outside the bed!
Yes. Tall Order. But I don’t ask for anything I don’t give. I’m still looking for my sexy soulmate! Applications below. Autographs on Twitter