Shahrukh, Ranbir in Brokeback Mountain Remake ?

Latest Bollywood buzz is that rising superstar, Ranbir Kapoor refused to work with Shahrukh khan, again! Kapoor kid says he is not desperate and is waiting for the “perfect script” to share screen space with King Khan.

At Gaysi, we thought we would make an irresistible offer to the duo and while we are at it, also suggest some perfect remakes for our other Bollywood hunks.

Latest Bollywood buzz is that rising superstar, Ranbir Kapoor refused to work with Shahrukh khan, again! Kapoor kid says he is not desperate and is waiting for the “perfect script” to share screen space with King Khan.

At Gaysi, we thought we would make an irresistible offer to the duo and while we are at it, also suggest some perfect remakes for our other Bollywood hunks.

Check it out.

Brokeback Mountain :

Ang Lee’s epic gay love story is a faithful adaption of Annie Proulx’s short story. Two young cowboys, Ennis del Mar (Heath Ledger) and Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal), meet in 1963 on a summer job herding sheep on Brokeback Mountain in Wyoming. When a cold night prompts the two to share a small tent, the physical intimacy becomes unavoidable. The morning after, they each asserts that he is not “queer,” but they soon realize there is something profoundly important between them. The film then follows the closeted gay mens’ love story for the next twenty years. (Trailer here)

In our Gaysi Bollywood version of Brokeback Mountain, Bollywood Badshah Shah Rukh Khan would be the moody, uptight, yet intense Ennis del Mar, while Ranbir Kapoor, with his boyish charm would play Jack. Yes, SRK has a tendency to go overboard, but not if the super talented Director Mani Ratnam calls the shots.

Imagine the climax scene, beautifully shot by Mani, where SRK discovers Ranbir’s shirt and clutches it tight to himself. No temper, no outburst, just a silent cry mourning the indefinite loss.

God, I would happily die after that day!

P.S: Let us also cast Kajol as SRK’s wife (“Alma” played by Michelle Williams) and Deepika Padukone as Ranbir’s wife (“Lureen” played by Anne Hathaway)

Latter Days :

They don’t make movies like Latter Days anymore, or at least they haven’t since then. This is a passionate, heartfelt love story between a young, innocent Mormon missionary, Aaron (Steve Sandvoss) and promiscuous party animal, Christian (Wes Ramsey). Aaron and his fellow missionaries happens to move into an apartment complex where sex-hungry Christian lives. Christian, a waiter, makes a 50 dollar bet with his table waiting pals that he can get one of the Mormons into bed.

Latter Days has everything for a perfect Gaysi Bollywood remake: love, passion, romance, drama, suspense and a happy ending! (Here is the trailer). A Gay DDLJ, for sure. Perfect for Aditya Chopra to direct.

Imran Khan is almost perfect for the role of the innocent Mormon missionary. Please note the ‘almost’. That is because Khan’s cute boyish butt unfortunately can’t live up to Sandvoss’s hot ass ;). But(t), that’s okay. Khan has the charm and the vulnerability required to play Aaron.

The role of Christian sounds tailor made for our Bollywood Gay Icon, John Abraham. If you look at the picture, you would think we nailed the cast. If only…..


If only, our sex god could act. Sigh! Our second choice is not bad though. Bollywood Kamina, can play the slutty Christian, just like that!

Touch of Pink :

Alim (Jimi Mistry) has a perfect life. A job in London, a boyfriend, and an imaginary mentor (Cary Grant played by Kyle MacLachlan). All hell breaks loose when Nuru, the overbearing mom makes a visit. Nuru (Suleka Mathew) is all set to get Alim married to the perfect Ismaili bride and has no clue about the fact that her son is gay. Alim, with his boyfriend Giles’s support hides any aspect of the fact.(Kris Holden-Ried plays Giles). A funny, cute and interesting film. (Watch the Youtube trailer )

Rekha ji as Nuru is of course a very predictable choice, but stay with us.

How about Bachchan Junior as Alim, Madam Re’s son? He would be perfect to play the mama’s boy. If that is not scandalous enough, how about Big B, playing himself, as the imaginary father figure cum mentor? John Abraham can play Giles, thus ensuring our original Dostana pair makes a come back.

Tarun Manshukani can direct, obviously! The million dollar question is, will Jaya Bachchan lend her husband and also her son, to her Silsila costar? Sounds impossible! But if K Jo is the producer, you never know baby :).  Also recently, Rekha & Jaya hugged it out after 30 years!

In and Out:

Middle-aged high-school teacher Howard Brackett (Kevin Kline) is going to be married to fellow teacher and longtime girlfriend, Emily Montgomery (Joan Cusack) in three days, but their small town is more excited about the Oscar nomination of former resident Cameron Drake (Matt Dillon). But when Cameron wins an Oscar for playing a gay soldier, he thanks his gay teacher, Howard, for inspiration. What follows is Howard denying it in an hilarious set of mishaps in a truly screwball fashion.

Who else better than our Laadla, Anil Kapoor, to play the funny, outgoing, likable, middle-aged teacher? If you have seen the movie, you would immediately agree. (Check out the Trailer)

Kevin Kline = Anil Kapoor! Let us ask Madhuri to make a come back and play Emily Montgomery. Our queen of dance, is also a queen of comedy and her chemistry with Kapoor is unquestionable. Superstar Hrithik Roshan would play Cameron Drake, while David Dhawan would be the director.

Milk:

Milk is the story of Harvey Milk, and his struggles as an American gay activist who fought for gay rights and became California’s first openly gay elected official. India’s answer to Sean Penn is our Bollywod Genius Aamir Khan. Imagine Aamir  saying, ” I am here to recruit you!” (Trailer here)

Rakesh Mehra’s direction would be faithful to the original, don’t you think?

Disagree with our choices?  Have other queer films and actors in your mind? Please share.

Credits :
Inspiration : MJ’s L Word – Bollywood Ishtyle?
Movie information from IMDB
Brokeback Mountain review by Lisa Ann Cockrel at ChristianityToday.com
In and Out review by Skiop at IMBD
Pictures : IMDB, Sulekha & Bollywood Hungama

About the author

Shri

South Indian, Sambar lover,Subramanya Bharathi fan, Rebel, Bleeding heart liberal, Writer, Dreamer, Die-hard romantic and Queer. Twitter: @shrisadasivan