As one of the editors on Gaysi, I have reviewed most articles you read on this website. Book reviews, film reviews, erotica, relationship diatribes, the whole gamut. As someone who has dated a lot more men than women, this has meant a unique window into the machinery of Queer relationships.
The truth is the more I read, the more I am convinced that straight, bi or flamingly gay, at the heart of it, all relationships are human and hence, essentially the same. We all play the same games, suffer the same insecurities, love the same jerks, endure the same heartbreaks, incur the same losses and celebrate the same victories.
While reading an excellent piece by Chicklet about what goes on at lesbian parties, I was reminded of the parties I went to when I was in college. There were both straight ones and queer ones. Gender apart, nothing changes. There is the same sexually charged energy, the same sneaky glances exchanged from across the room, the same flirty conversations… and amongst those of us grappling with the familiar diffidence, “Is this about sex? Will s/he call me tomorrow morning?”
Promiscuity is not the exclusive preserve of the homosexuals. It is just as rampant among the heterosexuals. It is just as rampant among the straights. Relationships are just as short-lived, meaningful liaisons are just as rare, intentions are just as hard to ascertain.
Little wonder then, I am frequently shocked by the homophobic who think that homosexuals are peculiar breed that are out to get them. A common refrain I encounter us, “I am uncomfortable when ‘they’ hit on me’. I think it is safe to say I’d be uncomfortable when I am courted by someone I have no interest in, gender irrespective. But while men are flattered by female attention (solicited or otherwise), they are flustered by male attention as though it is an affront to their masculinity. Now, Anurag, I reserve comment about a similar situation among women, because I haven’t observed enough instances of it. You say it exists, so it must.
Suffice to say, being an editor at Gaysi has been an interesting exercise in observing the construct of the human mind. And for that I am grateful to both MJ and Broom. We’ve come a long way and you’ve been wonderful travel companions. And to you readers, thank you for making this trip worthwhile.