Gaysi Wedding Dreams

Okay, disclaimer: I’ve only been with my girlfriend for 10 months, and I’m still pretty young. So I’m not contemplating marriage anytime soon. But like a lot of people, I like to dream. I feel like the holiday season goes crazy with engagements. Practically everyone I know got engaged over the winter holiday break. But I digress. This isn’t about them. It’s about me, and my big fat gaysi wedding dreams.

Okay, disclaimer: I’ve only been with my girlfriend for 10 months, and I’m still pretty young. So I’m not contemplating marriage anytime soon. But like a lot of people, I like to dream. I feel like the holiday season goes crazy with engagements. Practically everyone I know got engaged over the winter holiday break. But I digress. This isn’t about them. It’s about me, and my big fat gaysi wedding dreams.

Of course, there’s no such thing as an “Indian” wedding. We all have our separate traditions. But as far as I know, everyone has a mandap and a fire. So of course, I’m going to need a sweet mandap. I’m not a huge fan of saris, but I’d stick with the traditional red and go with a ghagra. I think I’d want my lady in a matching Sherwani suit. I’ve never seen a woman in a Sherwani, but I swoon over women in ties…so I think it’s safe to assume that if my lady were in a Sherwani, I’d be all the swoon-ier. I’d want traditional Vedic vows, so I’d have to find a nice, liberal pandit who would perform that ceremony.

I’m dreaming of bright, Bollywood colors and bhangra at the reception. I’m sort of secretly in love with Western wedding gowns so I’d totally wear one to my reception. I want to be toasted by my family and friends before I cut my cake topped with a figure of 2 women.

Sometimes I tell myself to be conscious of reality – the reality that I probably can’t get married in my family temple and that regardless of where my wedding is, it’s likely that my family will refuse to come and my government will refuse to recognize my union. But then I remember who I am. I’m MissZero and I refuse to stop dreaming. Sure, reality is harsh, but I’ll dream about creating a better reality. A reality where I can have both my culture and the woman I love. It’s hard to have faith in those dreams sometimes, but I think it’s important to keep dreaming. As gaysis, society denies our existence and our rights at every turn. But we can fight back in our heads and our hearts, by keeping our dreams alive.

I’m sort of a big sucker for gay and lesbian wedding/commitment ceremony photos. I’ll fawn over them on the internet and get a little teary eyed over people I don’t know, people I’ll never know, but people with whom I share a common vision. In my random stumblings online, I found these pics from a lesbian gaysi wedding and a gay gaysi wedding. And it gave me hope that someday, we will all get to say “I do”.

About the author

misszero

Early twenties, rugby-playing, bhangra-dancing queer. At a large university in a small town. Out to almost everyone that matters. Into dykey haircuts, good music, Lebanese food, and naps. Likes to hyper-analyze everything. Loves to cook, and more importantly, to eat what has been cooked. Incredibly loud and outgoing. Organizes drawers by color. Is both best-friends and worst-enemies with the Stairmaster. Often described as "intense". Wears hats with ear flaps and brightly colored coats. Active tea-drinker, flax-seed-consumer, and cellular-respirator.

5 thoughts on “Gaysi Wedding Dreams

  1. Dear Miss Zero,
    Wish u a special gaysi wedding of your own:)

    The pictures u linked to were beautiful. Can understand just why, you want to get married.

    Sometimes seeing pictures of real couples or reading their romance makes you believe that it will happen for you.

    Hope it does for you!

  2. i always had this struggle where my dream wedding would be with a woman but then i realized that 50-75% of the people in my life wouldn’t come, and if they did they would be uncomfortable or forced. but you’re right, it is important to not deny ourselves of our dreams. who knows what the future has in store, and if we stop dreaming it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy of unhappiness. thank you for saying this :)

  3. I love the wedding website, thanks for links… I have been planning my wedding in my head for the past few months…only a small detail is missing – my life partner

  4. Hi MissZero,
    I just wanted to say, I discovered Gaysi just about an hour ago and all I’ve done is read through all your posts.
    I identify with so much of what you’ve written that I just had to drop you a line to thank you for writing and sharing all your experiences.
    I dealt with coming out to roommates in college, and having other desis in the Indian club on campus finding out, etc. I too have dreamt of an Indian wedding someday to the woman of my dreams. And through you, I have found strength in knowing that it is indeed possible to come out to my parents one day, even if it isn’t a one time thing.

    Thank you so much. I’m struggling to find some sort of Gaysi community out here in LA, and I feel so much more hopeful of one day being out and open and embracing life after reading your posts.
    I look forward to reading more of your work, and checking out the rest of the site. :)

  5. Miss Zero,
    If you ever need a gaysi wedding planner, let me know. Just organized a Hindu wedding for my friends, right from having a Hindu priest up to photography of the event!

    So now you won’t need to get teary of other folk’s wedding picture, you get teary looking at your own wedding picture! Soon :)

    LJ

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