Okay, disclaimer: I’ve only been with my girlfriend for 10 months, and I’m still pretty young. So I’m not contemplating marriage anytime soon. But like a lot of people, I like to dream. I feel like the holiday season goes crazy with engagements. Practically everyone I know got engaged over the winter holiday break. But I digress. This isn’t about them. It’s about me, and my big fat gaysi wedding dreams.
Of course, there’s no such thing as an “Indian” wedding. We all have our separate traditions. But as far as I know, everyone has a mandap and a fire. So of course, I’m going to need a sweet mandap. I’m not a huge fan of saris, but I’d stick with the traditional red and go with a ghagra. I think I’d want my lady in a matching Sherwani suit. I’ve never seen a woman in a Sherwani, but I swoon over women in ties…so I think it’s safe to assume that if my lady were in a Sherwani, I’d be all the swoon-ier. I’d want traditional Vedic vows, so I’d have to find a nice, liberal pandit who would perform that ceremony.
I’m dreaming of bright, Bollywood colors and bhangra at the reception. I’m sort of secretly in love with Western wedding gowns so I’d totally wear one to my reception. I want to be toasted by my family and friends before I cut my cake topped with a figure of 2 women.
Sometimes I tell myself to be conscious of reality – the reality that I probably can’t get married in my family temple and that regardless of where my wedding is, it’s likely that my family will refuse to come and my government will refuse to recognize my union. But then I remember who I am. I’m MissZero and I refuse to stop dreaming. Sure, reality is harsh, but I’ll dream about creating a better reality. A reality where I can have both my culture and the woman I love. It’s hard to have faith in those dreams sometimes, but I think it’s important to keep dreaming. As gaysis, society denies our existence and our rights at every turn. But we can fight back in our heads and our hearts, by keeping our dreams alive.
I’m sort of a big sucker for gay and lesbian wedding/commitment ceremony photos. I’ll fawn over them on the internet and get a little teary eyed over people I don’t know, people I’ll never know, but people with whom I share a common vision. In my random stumblings online, I found these pics from a lesbian gaysi wedding and a gay gaysi wedding. And it gave me hope that someday, we will all get to say “I do”.