It’s hard to describe what came over me when I saw the story that Karan Johar was reportedly engaged. I initially laughed for quite a while, just at the thought of Karan Johar being romantic with a girl. It sounds trivial now, almost immature, to have that kind of reaction.
I was mad and in awe all in the same breath. I immediately starting searching the internet for some more news on the subject, hoping to find solid evidence that it wasn’t true. A few minutes later, my dad randomly brought it up out of nowhere.
“Did you hear Karan Johar is engaged?”
I laughed out loud once again. I started to say something, but couldn’t finish. “ I—I—I—can’t even believe that. I mean, come on, we all know he’s gay.”
My dad responded, “That’s what you all say…” as if it was our fault for forcing the image of this unimaginable lifestyle onto a celebrity.
It was in that moment of my dad’s judgment almost brimming with a hint of glee, that I realized why I had such mixed feelings. Karan Johar, in all seriousness, had become a weird sort of gay icon in the Gaysi world. Even without coming out, it seemed like he was the prime example of someone who could live their dreams and be successful, and that his sexuality didn’t have to define him. I know I would have been one of the first of many in line to congratulate Karan if and when he did come out, and maybe as Gaysis, we really do need him to come out, if that is something he feels is right for him (or even applies to him at all). But this kind of news, it sort of broke my heart in a tiny way. It made me believe that if Karan Johar really is gay, he not only won’t come out, he’d actually go out of his way to silence the rumors and judgment of millions of people by pretending to be straight… as if being gay is something to hide and be ashamed of, even if your success and talent would shut the world’s gossiping mouth in a second.
As a Gaysi, I know I struggle to find popular Gaysi celebrities or idols to look up to. It would be great to know that in our intricate world of tradition, culture, and strict values, someone dared to stand up for themselves and come out. It would be liberating to look up to someone and say to ourselves that if they could do it, if they could risk what they have to be true to themselves, anyone could. It would mean that our family and friends could see firsthand that someone’s talents and passions, and success shouldn’t, and aren’t, hindered by a personal detail like sexual orientation.
In Bollywood or in the Indian subcontinent at large, there really aren’t many (if any at all) popular gay idols. In my head, I logically understand the reasons behind this are far deeper than a superficial explanation like none of them could possibly be gay at all. But beyond this, it just reinforces a negative connotation for all Gaysis growing up in and around this culture that being gay isn’t something to be shared or proud of or normal.
I think whether or not Karan Johar marries a girl, at the end of the day the most important fact will be whether he is happy with who he is and who he projects himself to be. I hope that one day the Gaysi community can come together to support an idol of our own.
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I was also unsettled by this news. In a really illogical way I felt betrayed.
Today on KWK he said that the news was an ‘April Fools Joke.’
There’s still hope!
Come on out, KJo. It’s really not so bad out of the closet…
Nice post Sangam.
@Broom : Here is how I feel about KJo and Coming out. We all know he is queer and he has made it very obvious, even though he never said the words “I am Gay”. He is doing his part in Bollywood by talking openly about homosexuality (KWK and other media events) and making films (KHNH, Dostana).
He faces so much bashing everywhere just because people think he is Gay.
If he comes out, who is it going to benefit? I don’t think it is going to make things easier for him or for the Indian Queer community. So why bother?
Shri, to respond to you, I will quote the very awesome Harvey Milk:
“Gay brothers and sisters,… You must come out. Come out… to your parents… I know that it is hard and will hurt them but think about how they will hurt you in the voting booth! Come out to your relatives… come out to your friends… if indeed they are your friends. Come out to your neighbors… to your fellow workers… to the people who work where you eat and shop… come out only to the people you know, and who know you. Not to anyone else. But once and for all, break down the myths, destroy the lies and distortions. For your sake. For their sake. For the sake of the youngsters who are becoming scared by the votes from Dade to Eugene.”
Broom, I agree with you and also with the very awesome Harvey Milk
It is obvious that KJo is very comfortable with his sexuality. I am sure he is out to his parents, friends, family, and also to lot of his coworkers. He hasn’t (explicitly) told the words “I am Gay” to the media and rest of the world yet . But he is doing his part, in the ways he can.
I don’t think KJo coming out explicitly is going to make things better for him or for the Indian queer community.
In response to the comment: “I think whether or not Karan Johar marries a girl, at the end of the day the most important fact will be whether he is happy with who he is and who he projects himself to be.” Yes, but what about the woman he marries? It’s interesting how masculinist we can be even when discussing queerness.
Considering how obvious it is that he is gay (or so we think), I wonder if he will find a woman who will agree to marry him if ever he chooses to. And if he does find one, how long will it be before it comes out that its just a marriage of convenience?
Wait a minute KJo is gay!!!
I think he is out to every tom dick and harry within the Bollywood industry and its our homophobic institution that prevents people from coming out… not to mention the moolah he would lose after becoming a pariah no matter how popular he is!!! personally I think Aishwarya is sleeping with Bachchan Sr ( sorry for the image 
) but when it comes to Bollywood Shahrukh, Aamir and the whole bunch engage in couch casting and they are all selectively and opportunistically Pan/omni sexual. I don’t think they are any better than Hollywood, where there are as many closet queens. David Hyde Pierce didn’t come out as a gay man until after Frasier went off air. Everyone knows Matt Bomer is married to his partner with kids and still he won’t come out !!! I think if you are a gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender individual, you should come out when you are ready… but if you are just a MSM or a WSW… then party on….its no one else’s business… just dont be a hypocrite and badmouth the LGBT community after getting your rocks off