It’s incredible when one is in love. It’s always as if it’s the first time. Even though it never is, except when it actually is the first time. There is a pattern to the responses, a pattern to the advances, a pattern to the retreat, a pattern to finding the middle ground. There’s a pattern to the predictability. And yet it is always different. In other words, we are never sure of the path love will take but we are always sure that love will take us through circles in squares, through figures of eight, through pyramids which may at times be upturned. And that is what makes being in love so beautiful and essential.
Many would shout me down and say why essential? Why must one have to endure the pyramid which points downwards? Why must one go through pain or turmoil? Why must one find ones insides clenched and unable to breathe? I can’t say why for you but I know why for me. I know that each time I’m caught in a downward spiral, it brings out the fighter in me. And that’s just a start. I can’t hit rock bottom. And in that struggle to not land with a thud, I thrash every limb at my disposal. The mind works through all its recorded impressions of past encounters. It gives me reasons. It gives me answers. It gives me riddles. It gives me no help. And when I realise that, I let go of it. And that is when whatever is to be taught, is learnt. And that is also when I swim upwards effortlessly for I am armed with the insight, with the light, with the truth of the why’s and why not’s. And so yes, unhappiness or pain is always unwanted but it is a small sacrifice for ones growth.
In the end, a pattern can only exist until we decide to break through it. And then who knows… we may actually experience love for the first time.