I had once accompanied a very dear friend to a television talk show, and no, not the likes of Jerry Springer. While she went on yapping with the host and other guests of the show, I was left to kill time with the other “accompaniments” . Interestingly, one of them happened to be a palm reader. I know, I know….many of you consider this higher art form nothing but a money-making gimmick.
But believe it or not, the kind lady (who did not charge me a penny, by the way) predicted two important turning points of my life;
Turning Point 1: Can’t tell you now, since it has not happened as yet. Infuriating, yes, but you know how we Queers are fanatic about not “jinxing karma”.
Turning Point 2: At the age of 34, I would be a published author.
And today, almost 4 years from the time my future was revealed to me, I am proud to announce the launch of Gaysi Zine (Vol. 1). Yes, a sleazy, “How to lose a woman in 7 days” would have been a more apt debut for me. But hey, let’s give the nice palm reader aunty a break here, shall we! And on the (thankfully) good side, I still have a long way to get to 34.
And before I digress again, a little on the Gaysi Zine;
1. Idea credit goes to our outrageous feminist Ms. Anurag, whose Gaysi Zine effort for the Chicago Zine Festival this year lead to implanting creative keedas (insects) in our balloon lady aka. Ms. Chicklet.
2. It took Chicklet almost two months and endless emotional harassment to get the writers and their content sorted. Some articles have previously been published on Gaysi and the rest are exclusive to the Zine.
3. Then it took our Editor-in-Chief in Doha, The Cathartist, (told you we are shady folk) another month to get the content thoroughly whipped into shape. That too, on her overly abused Blackberry.
4. Now with the clean content sitting on our head, and no money in our bank accounts, Chicklet & I began looking for a creative designer fulfilling the following criteria;
a) Should be visually pleasing
b) Should be daily user of body deodorants
c) Should be willing to pay for alcohol for thyself and others
d) Should not know how to spell the word “M-O-N-E-Y”
5. Like an early present from Santa Claus for being nice, we found FishHead. Mind you, her uncanny resemblance to a dead Fish is just a matter of coincidence. FishHead offered us her helping hand, and the Zine took life in true Gaysi Fashion.
6. Then, FishHead and Cathartist tussled over design and content. While Cathartist stealthily used her office scanner to copy the x-rated content to send the changes to the team, FishHead nearly tossed Cathartist to the curb for the agonizing “suggestions”.
7. Then it was time to sign off our black souls to the Printer dude because (surprise, surprise!) we had no money. So, four months since we began, we finally have the Zine all ready and piping hot, only for your reading pleasure. Damn! Social service can be painful at times.
8. E-book can be downloaded free of cost. In Mumbai, Print Copies can be picked up from Azad Bazar, and will be soon available on QueerInk. Print Copies will also be available in Bangalore, Chennai and New Delhi. We are just waiting for Chicklet’s salary to pay for the courier charges.
To be honest, we have no freaking clue about the future of the Zine. A lot depends on the feedback we receive for this edition. I am hoping it will make me the youngest Queer millionaire of the country or else I will have to stick with the “Find me a Suga Momma” back-up plan.
On the other hand, it would be super nice (and ethical) of you to let us know what you think of this MAGNIFICENT effort.
Before I get back to my day dreams involving Katrina Kaif…
We (Broom and I) sincerely thank our Team Members, Guest Contributors, FishHead and everyone else involved. We would have done it without you, but hey….having slaves is so much cooler.
*No Queers were killed in the process, just abused!
*We shall not be held responsible for any after effects of reading the Zine
*MJ now does house calls (Conditions Apply)