Since I have the perfect credentials and a clean heart to get away with it, my dear ladies, I present to you a handy list of lesbian guidelines. It’s an attempt at improving the basic nitty-gritty of your Queer life. Follow them and I assure you, you’ll find less trouble and more action.
- Necessity : For the sake of the poor soul next to you, please use a deodorant. One cannot place more importance on personal hygiene. Yes, body sweat has its attraction but it has its time and place. And no, Pepper spray doesn’t cut the bill.
- Get it Right : There is a huge difference between “I love you” & “I am in love with you”.
- Thought for Everyday : There’s plenty of Fish in the sea.
- Silent Rule : An ex is nothing but bad news, at least for the first 3 years after breaking up. After that, they are potential candidates.
- Tip Off : S-E-X is good. And with the help of our extended family a.k.a. Lubricants & Special Toys, the wOw effect is easily attainable. So stop being a rigid bitch and get with the act.
- Understand : Being obsessive/desperate isn’t exactly an attractive quality. It will take you no further than getting banned on various Social Networks and perhaps even, a visit to the nearest Police Station.
- Preachy : Always “Be yourself”. But wearing your Gay best friend’s khaki chaddi (shorts) to a date is taking it too far. We have dress codes for a reason.
- Exaggeration : Love, Relationships, Monogamy and such like.
- Meant To Be : Is not applicable just because she added you to her BBM (or WhatsApp) list.
- Not a Sin : Waxing/Shaving of bodily hair will do no harm to your feminist views.
- Fact : Open Relationship simply means “You can do me”.
- Off-Limit : Katrina Kaif. She’s mine!
Please feel free to agree. And when disagreeing, just remember I’m the boss here and have the authority to ban your IP address. Permanently*.
*Editor’s note: She’s kidding. (MJ, you don’t scare me!)
Loading ...
Get it Right and Tip Off….SUPERRRR!!!
Agreed MJ
And a smart woman you are!
So *this* is how you test drive.
Yes. Watch and Learn….you Baby Dyke!
I’m so nervous and pushed to write a ‘healthy gay living’ á la Julia Child now. copy cat maroon kya?
Be my guest…..and to be honest, I think you will rock and how!
All i kept saying to myself after every point was, “So True!”
EXCEPT – Please keep Katrina Kaif. Nobody wants her.(Unless she is doing a Sheila, of course) >:->
@Sayuri : totally agree with Katrina’s part. She’s all your’s MJ ji.
And even if she’s doing a sheila..I think, as long as there is Farah Khan to make someone (not ‘anyone’ , of course) do the sheila, I can totally forget Kat.
What abt Sonam Kapur doing sheila? Mmmm… Yummmmmmmmy! Or anuskha shetty doing a it.. Yummy yummy!
Awesome post n I was smiling ear to ear thru out. Made my day
Keep it coming Boss!
Great post. As for toys, the more pleasure, the merrier. So, toys for all ! Yes please!
@ MJ: Good post
@ Sayuri: Hmm…I think I wouldn’t want Katrina…now that she’s done doing a Sheila
@Sayuri = Only MJ wants her…
@ MJ – Wait, what happened to Chitrangada Singh?
ALL of this is very true, boss lady ! very true! Except we’ve all done this one time or the other also… and will continue to do so!
Lol…No one who uses the term “rigid bitch” gets to decide when and under what circumstances a person is a feminist..!
Practice safe sex. Did you say it?
And you can keep Ms. Kaif. I no like her
wah! wah! love the post!