Stuff Gaysi People Like

A funny take on some of the Stuff Gaysi People Like or like to do. No offense intended. If you have suggestions to add to this list, please let us know.

A funny take on some of the Stuff Gaysi People Like or like to do. * No offense intended.

#1 Rekha : Madam Re tops the list! If there is one thing that can beat Gaysi men’s own narcissism, it is their love for Rekha. No surprise here, she is beautiful, sexy and powerful. What is interesting is that even budding Gaysis who have never seen one full movie of Rekha adore her. It is like a religion passed down through generations.

#2 Rahul Gandhi : Late 30s and yet single; sexy, cute dimples; biking on Delhi streets in tight shorts; What else does one need to get the attention of the Gaysi community? Gaysi men are obsessed with Gandhi’s good looks and could care less where he stands on LGBT rights.

#3 Autowalas : They are the Desi version of the Western blue collar. Gaysi men have their own share of Autowala fantasies like the fireman/plumber obsession in the West. Gaysi men like to think every hot Autowala is hitting on them.

#4 John Abraham : If it was biking shorts for Gandhi, it was bright yellow boxers for Abraham! The more they went down, the more crazy it drove the Gaysis. We don’t know how long this Dostana between John Abraham and the Gaysis will last, but as of now Gaysis are totally in love with him. (It doesn’t matter how much John perpetuates stereotypes, the latest instance being the Philips commercial.)

#5 KJO is Gay : Big effing deal! Gaysi men can never get over KJo or speculating about him coming out (which might never happen).

#6 Pehale Aap : Gaysi men love to play “Pehale Aap”. Be it showing themselves on cam or sharing pictures, they want you to go first. “Invite and get invited”, and “Send to receive” are their standard responses. The worst thing is that you can send your pic but they will stop chatting or block you without a response if you are not their type. All is fair in cyber sex you see!

#7 KLPD/Chickening out : Gaysi men are experts at this. They will text, chat with you for hours, get you all horned up, even fix a place and time to meet. You will rush to be there on time, only to receive a message saying “Something came up!” or “I don’t know if I can do this”

#8 Activism in Social networks : Just watch who posts first about “Cruelty against animals in South China” or “Pollution in Agra” on your Facebook / Twitter feeds. Of course it will be your Gaysi friends. They love activism in social networks: posting links, voicing against atrocities, signing petitions online and the works! They are usually more socially aware, politically active and environmentally friendly than your straight friends.

#9 Gay but not extra Gay : Some Gaysi men could pass as KJO’s elder sister, but they love to think they are as straight acting as Dharam Paji! They bitch about other effeminate Gay men and some even don’t want effeminate men on their circles.

#10 Fair/Northie crush : Like the rest of India, Gaysi men have an obsession with lighter skin. No wonder the Kapoors and Khans are selling fair skin products for men. “Being fair” is a big selling point not just on straight matrimonial sites but also in the Gaysi world. Also, many Gaysis think if you are from the north you are better and they have conditions like “No Southies.” God forbid if you have a mustache, you will be instantly declined.

#11 Facials : This is a direct result of the lighter skin obsession. Gaysi men love getting facials and they go for “all natural” or “herbal” ones rather than the chemical ones. They are so green you see! πŸ™‚

#12 “Every hot guy is hitting on me” : Most Gaysi men are borderline delusional with this one. “I just logged on to Planet Romeo after a week and my inbox was full! OMG, everybody is hitting on me” is what they will tell you. In reality, it means their inbox is be as empty as Rakhi Sawant’s head.

#13 Gaybels – The Gay Labels : Gaybels suck! Gaysi labels are even worse. Gaysi men have their own Gaybel interpretation. When they say “Top” it means they are “Selfish Jerks”. “Top” means they won’t do any work in bed and the “Bottom” is supposed to do everything to please them. Also many Gaysi men have problems admitting that they are bottoms. “Versatile” is not any better. You would think versatile guys go both ways, but in the Gaysi world it means they are ready for everything except the actual intercourse!

#14 “I only kiss girls” : Ya right! These are folks who have problem identifying as Gay, so they conveniently call themselves Bisexuals (thereby adding to the phobia bisexuals face). These men would do everything in bed, but the moment you reach their lips hoping for a passionate kiss, they will push you away “I only kiss girls, sorry.” They love to think that if they don’t kiss guys, they are not Gay!

#15 Awkward cellphone pictures : Face covered by the cellphone + flexed muscles + bathroom mirror = perfect Gaysi profile pic! And lots of shots of the same pose, just to be sure. Go to the Facebook profile of a Gaysi man, and I bet you will find at least one awkward cell phone picture.

The list continues…

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About the author


South Indian, Sambar lover,Subramanya Bharathi fan, Rebel, Bleeding heart liberal, Writer, Dreamer, Die-hard romantic and Queer. Twitter: @shrisadasivan