It’s been almost two years since I came onto the Lezzie scene. I’ve met many, dated many and gotten to know a lot of women. Some have been phenomenal. Some you discover along the way. Some allow you to be yourself and some to bloom. Some are Hi. Some are so strictly bye! My must have list still holds good. But, if you are new on the scene — figure your way around some of these types you are likely to meet!
The Big B: Yes, call her the big bully or the ring leader. She’s the one who’s decided which women you should meet, how you should hold them and how you should treat them right. She may come in a large size or a smaller version — it’s the big bully attitude that will point her out. Usually seen with an entourage of younger/timid women, she’s the one who’s here, there and everywhere. My take: Works till you don’t have a brain of your own or you are sussing out the scene! Worth losing pronto… coz who wants big momma around? Right!
The Pictureless Lezzie: A tiring lot, if you ask me (personal experience!) They wanna know everything about you. They want you to dirty talk on BBM, even chat online for hours, followed with husky, breathy phone conversations. But ask for a teeny weeny picture and its likely you will get a earful. Don’t understand them. Really, which age do we live in… We ain’t about to rat on you being gay, to the world! We are sailing in the same boat, remember? Avoid ’em me thinks, unless you have time to play the guessing game.
The diva: HIGH MAINTENANCE (in caps– in case you missed the point). Sexy clothes, super car, stylish something… Blow hot, blow cold. Some days, she will be nice… And some days super spacey. She’s just so in love with herself. If you’re ready to be second best forever, try her!
Ms closet: She’s hot. She’s stunning. And she’s in the closet. Chances of meeting her in person are zip even though you sense chemistry with a capital ‘C’! Her parents want her married. She isn’t standing up just yet. Take my advice — keep as best friend or run!!!
Swinging Sexy: Darling she loves you, but she loves his money too! Girls who love women and love their man’s wallet. She will treat you just right… only till he’s not around! Advisable only for those looking for high drama!
The scary ex: She’s older. She’s letchy! The scary ex knows/has done everybody on the scene. There won’t be six degrees of separation, it will be hard to find even one. What makes it worse is that she’s still friends with every girl she dated and invited for every single do and chases everything in a skirt! Umm, I wouldn’t even venture here — if I were you…
The nosy best friend: She’s always hanging out with ‘her’ — the girl you are interested in. Always telling you about her ex! Always there when you need a pick me up. She’s also the one carrying stories from one end to the other. So hold her at distance will you?
The nubile nymphets: They are young! (*Seriously, what age are we discovering our sexuality again?*) They are hip. They hang in groups! They wear their heart and sexuality on their sleeve! They will come on and refuse to let you turn them down. Temptation and how! Handle with care, especially if you don’t want to be stalked or have a romantic saga enacted on your doorstep!
The wallflower: There you see her and then you don’t! She will light up the scene and then disappear under the rocks with her baggage and much silence. Drawing her out will be harder than drawing out the cockroach hiding under the washbasin sink. If you like to take the effort, well why not? You might surprise yourself!
The Romeo: Hmm, looking for a self-esteem lift? Then this younger girl will do wonders to your flagging ego! Available at all hours –pick you and drop you, open doors and pay bills… Works, if you want to date someone you can’t have a conversation with!
The intellectual: She and you can talk. Of cabbages and of communism! She can make you think of religion, politics, feminism and draw you into a world of causes — so her own… The interplay is great. The foreplay zero! If verbal chatter alone works, you have hit gold!
And finally the Mirror: She’s just like you! A parallel track to your life… You laugh at the same things! Your conversations last long. Your chemistry is sizzling with a mere look. She’s the reason you are smiling at your phone in the middle of a busy, crazy day! She’s the one I would hope to hell you find and hold onto!