Self Defense 101

Really? You leave it in the hands of the justice system to protect you? Will somebody please tell me who these naive women are?

Please read this article: HC Turns Down Lesbian Couple’s Petition for Security

 

Really? You leave it in the hands of the justice system to protect you? Will somebody please tell me who these naive women are?

Every homo knows that when we need protection, we do not rely on the government or the cops or the courts. We have our own gay mafia! And they are called the Hijra community. Now please don’t twist my words. I love and highly respect the the hijra community. I do not discriminate within the community (only outside of it!).

But for some unfathomable reason, straight men have a morbid fear of hijras who are harmless as butterflies. Hijras are smart, intelligent, beautiful and can win any argument in logic with panache. Basically, they’re just like us. But straight men? They won’t even meet Hijras in the eye. So why not use their weakness against them? You want protection, call on your hijra friends! Here’s what will happen:

Gundas wanting to harm you come to your door and ring the doorbell. You open the door and walk backwards into your house feigning disbelief and fear. Gundas follow you in, in Bollywood style leering at your supposed helplessness. But then SLAM! Front door closes, gunda turns around to see fabulously dressed hijra blocking his exit with a belan (the thing used to make chappatis) in her hand, very dramatically staring at him. Goon panics, pees in his pants and a Tom & Jerry style chase shall ensue!

Moral of the story: Seek protection within your community, cause even the straights know that the cops are useless.

On second thoughts, going by reputation (and experience)…one should just hire MJ!

About the author

Sherlock Homo

Sherlock Homo - No it does not imply that she is curious or that she investigates murder mysteries in 19th century London. As witty as her pen name, Ms. Homo is very well travelled and No, I don't mean the usual markets of Bangkok or a family trip to Universal Studios! I mean the French Rivera, temple ruins in Cambodia, safaris in Botswana.. always on the road less travelled where life experiences and life choices are concerned. Her perspective is unique and you will want to read all about what she has to share. If you don't, prepare yourself to get left behind on lifestyle, gay culture and all things cool. Read on...