5 ‘Hatke’ Items For Your Valentine Lady

This is one hatke list you cannot afford to ignore!

To some of you this post maybe a little too late for the occasion on hand. And if you happen to be one of those ladies walking around with multiple planner apps then this post isn’t for you to begin with.

But if you happen to be bogged down with the weight of the world on your shoulders – which in this case is still struggling with what to gift your special lady friend for this Valentine’s Day – then this is one hatke list you cannot afford to ignore!

Hatke because;

No. 1: This is the new buzzword at “Gaysi”. The editor wants us to live it every single Gaysi moment. Everything on Gaysi and everything done by Gaysi needs to be hatke.

No. 2: The proposed items on this list are pretty much the NO bullshit deals. Meaning; they will get you laid. Sure, you can get there…by the usual hold-lover-in-the-arms for 100th minute routine or the desperate look (*remember: puppy face*?), basically it’s at one’s discretion. But things on these list guarantee it.

No. 3: Yes! You love her…but it’s Gandhiji’s love that doesn’t come that easy these days. Hence the list is short, simple and gives options as per ones current pocket size.

And without further ado, here we go…

Option One: Under MRP 500

Durex Play Vibrations (Ring) – Though targeted for the heterosexual market, if you are on the kinky side and have a strong middle finger, then you are going to love this tiny toddy. It’s basically a mini-vibrator with set vibrations and lasts 20 minutes. Could be used as sex-starter or climax.

Available at your friendly chemist around the corner for Rs. 400.

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Option Two: Under MRP 1000

Candy Nipple Tassels – The pictures says it all! It’s naughty and it’s candy…what more can a girl ask for? And better yet it is 100% vegetarian!
*So all the Guju’s in the house say…Saras! *

Order via That’s Personal for only Rs. 840.

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Option Three: Slightly over MRP 1000

Chocolate Body Paint – The Gaysi team had this tube up as a Dirty Talk contest prize a few weeks ago. I lost but a good friend won. As per the feedback given; this product is top-notch. So yummy…that it could distract you from doing the do and licking your own fingers instead. Hence, use it with caution!

Order via That’s Personal for only Rs. 1045 for 150 gm tube.

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Option Four: If your bank account is very green!

Naughtibod Vibrator – The first time I saw this baby was in New York last year at one of the sex toy stores in Manhattan. And trust me, I was bowled over the minute I read (in great length) its purpose.

So get this: Naughtibod is no ordinary vibrator. What it does in fact is move to the tunes on your ipod//mp3 player. Simply plug it to your music player and for output connect it your headphones or speakers and literally groove to the music.

The vibrator is 6 inches long and comes with privacy pouch to take it along while travelling.

While in the US it is available at a cheaper price, but if you want it delivered to your doorstep in India it’s going to cost you Rs. 7375 (including all taxes) via IMbesharam website.

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Option Five: For those with zero bank balance and are single. Or both.

Thank Gay Gods for YouTube – Yeah, it’s a new prayer. Repeat 5 times. If you haven’t seen the recently released Shakira music video with Rihanna then you still have a long road ahead to fulfill your Queer prophecy. The song is called – Can’t Remember To Forget You.

…Just when we thought nothing could top the Shakira & Beyoncé romping the wall session in Beautiful Liar.

Though the lyrics suggest hetero loving, their actions (oooooh, their actions) are meant for lady loving. So flip on your computer screen or phone or whatever you like to flip…look for this video…and press play!

And yes. You are all welcome.

About the author

MJ

Now 30, 100% shudh desi lesbian. Likes living large, and on the edge. Dislikes stagnation, fence sitting and hypocrites. Lives in a bubble of joy, with occasional lapses into drama queendom. Currently nursing a massive crush on actress Chitrangada Singh (kind of eerie, her resemblance to the late Smita Patil, don’t you think?). Aspires to build a fully functional support system for the Gaysi community in India. And most importantly, top the 'Hottest eligible desi-lezzie' list one bright sunny day.