Rachna is a straight woman in her twenties. She goes by life singing, dancing, dating, working, drinking and attending various pride events. Although she is a straight woman, she confides to her gay best friend Ronak, “Why aren’t women asking me out?” to which Ronak says, “Do you like women, like do you really want to date them? Fuck them, fantasize about them?”. “Eww, Chee! Na re baba. I just want to know what it feels like.”
You can accuse straight people of being hypocrites, but then who isn’t? It’s easy to hate a friend who says ‘Chee‘ and ‘Eww woh dekh woh ladke kaise chipak ke naach rahe hai‘, but think. Why is your khambe jaisi seedhi Rachna behaving like this? Why is your hot, cute, stud jaisa straight munda; supportive but distant?
When allies attend pride events, they have certain dreams and expectations. Why do straight people feel sad when their gay friends don’t hit on them? I know straight people don’t want to date them but they want to be asked out by the same sex. Everybody likes an unachievable goal. Its like wishing away your stretch marks by rubbing coffee powder on them.
It all comes down to being wanted, loved and appreciated. It is like having your foot between doors, you could enter or exit. More like fence sitting. We are a nation of fence sitters. We just love pokey things hurting our bums.
Straight people are like confused puppies in the rainbow world. They are wide eyed by all the colour and confetti. They get very excited by all the welcoming faces. A puppy eventually becomes a dog and doesn’t know why it can’t just hump human legs. No matter how much we try, we will not understand the complexity of LGBT love. It will either be “Oh! it’s your life, you can choose to be Gay,” “It’s a phase, or “I don’t know all this but I support you.” Straight people are as confused as gay people.
It is hard to come out of the closet. It is hard to come to terms with your sexuality. Allies want to be a part of the community but will not accept their queer sensibilities. It is hard for heterosexual people to accept their privileges. Women got voting rights roughly a hundred years back; you think the hetero-normative world is ready for the Satrangi colour bombs?
The feminist inside us all is only just beginning to own her sasta leather chappal bought from La-Judi in Bandra. All it takes to make a straight person comfortable is for them to think that they are liked. Just a “hey can I buy you a drink, I think you are an interesting person and I would like to know more about you,” and If they say “NO!” leave politely. If they say “YES!” well, who knows they might enter the door. If they say “Maybe”, A little nudge and they will push the door themselves. All you need is PATIENCE! SABAR!
All of us love the idea of forbidden love, but for things to happen behind closed doors, there needs to be an open door.