Poem: Holding Your Hand

I’m afraid of holding your hand and letting my heart slip through the gaps in my sleeve

Artwork By Vaishali Soni

I’m afraid of holding your hand, because I want our lines to intersect, but I can’t tell if you’re ready for that yet

I’m afraid of holding your hand, because your smile melts the ice around my walls, slowly bringing them down

I’m afraid of holding your hand and letting my heart slip through the gaps in my sleeve

I’m afraid of holding your hand while your gaze remains fixed on me, jumbling my words, and entangling my thoughts

I’m afraid of holding your hand, and having all my darkest secrets spill through the cracks between our intertwined fingers

I’m afraid of holding your hand and realising that you’re the warmth I’ve craved, and never letting go

I’m afraid of holding your hand and crumbling in it, letting myself come undone at your touch

I’m afraid of holding your hand with the intensity of all my feelings for you, but not have the sentiment returned

I’m afraid of holding your hand, and even more afraid of being held

Because it means that my walls are breaking down while my soul comes out from behind the shadows

Most of all, I’m afraid of holding your hand, because there’s a part of me that wonders if you want me to be the one holding on

Or if you want me to be the one to let go.

About the author

Shruti B.

Shruti is a writer and designer who has a hard time writing about herself. She is passionate about feminism, mental health, good art, literature, and puppies. When she’s not daydreaming about Harry Potter, she can be found trapped in a YouTube blackhole, or impulsively buying more books than she can read.
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