“I don’t want to be in this body anymore.” “Why did God give me the wrong body?” “I want to get out from this body.” “I feel trapped inside the wrong body.“
Have you heard this kind of voice? A voice from people who are trapped inside the wrong body. A voice that was ignored by their family and society.
“You are a boy.” “Why did you walk like a girl?” “Pink is for girls not for you.” “How dare you say you want to be a woman?” “You can’t deny God’s will.“
And have you heard this kind of voice? A voice from the people you love. A voice from someone who you live with. A voice from the place you call your home.
All of these voices are a reality. Many of my trans friends have this experience of being trapped inside the wrong body. They struggle with transition and acceptance from their family and society.
There have been films in the past that have attempted to talk about the struggle of trans people. But I haven’t watched an animation about the lives of trans people before. A Little More Blue is my first. I watched this film when I attended this year’s Kashish, the International queer film festival in Mumbai. The film represented the story of a trans person who felt trapped inside the wrong body. It was only four minutes long but it communicated the struggle of trans people brilliantly.
Trans persons recognize their bodies labelled at birth do not correlate with their identities as they feel them. They then think of getting out from the wrong body. Many trans people want to do surgery because feeling trapped in the wrong body causes suffering. But the process of transition is not easy: families have difficulty in accepting this change especially in the Indian context where there is son preference. But what happens if the boy wants to be a girl?
A Little More Blue does not merely represent the suffering of trans people trapped in the wrong body, but it represents how trans people’s mental health is impacted. They might have depression or experience deep loneliness. Mental health of trans people affects their life. Many of them run away from home because of a lack of support from family and the stigmatization from society. In this film we can clearly see that with the support from family, the life of the trans person got better. I liked the scene where the father and child sit in the car and talk about the suffering of the child because no one seemed to understand what they want. A conversation like this, I believe, is helpful in raising awareness about how to support trans children. I feel a family that has trans children would be able to understand their child more if they watch this film.
Another aspect that holds importance for trans people is surgery or transitioning. There is a discussion in trans society that not every trans person wants to do surgery or it is not compulsory to do surgery. Some trans people might want to be in the body which is opposite from their mind but many trans people have a dream to get surgery and belong to a new body that they wanted since childhood. In this film, when the trans person wakes up with the new body it seemed like they got a new life. The important thing was that they were not alone. The family was with them during transition and that I think is so important to tell the society – it is time to accept trans children.
We shouldn’t wait until our children run away from home or get diagnosed with depression. We shouldn’t let our children deal with difficult situations alone and suffer because no one understands what they want to be. We cannot let any trans children commit suicide because their identity does not belong to their biological sex. The family can help them to pass the difficult times as many trans children have to deal with the changing of their body and their life when they decide to do surgery.
After watching this film, I felt like screening this film for as many families as I can because telling stories in animations can help us talk about serious issues better; it attracts people and might encourage them to engage with the story in a new way. I believe this film will make people understand about the struggle of trans people and the importance of support from the family.
A Little More Blue is a story of a girl trapped inside the body of a boy. Since childhood she knew she was a girl and that someday she will have to break off her shackles and tell the truth to everyone. But until that day she struggled between having a body of a boy and soul of a girl. The film is based on a true story.