I am watching and revolting at the latest media spectacle in the United States: Gaybie suicides. My first thought is “Great! The mainstream media finally woke up to a problem that has existed since before I was born. I don’t want to hear about it. Let me get back to my life.”
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“That’s nothing to be ashamed of. I am so relieved”, she continued, “I thought you were an addict. It’s natural to be gay. They have discovered it in over eighty species of animals.”
Not exactly where I was directing the conversation but at least she was okay. Secretly I thanked Nat Geo and its reach towards a Marathi audience. I sat up, facing her I asked “So you are okay with that?”
Bengaluru will celebrate its third Bengaluru Pride and Karnataka Queer Habba in November this year. The Queer Habba events will be organised during the latter half of November and will culminate with the Pride March itself on Nov 28th (coincident with the Delhi Pride March). These events are being organised by CSMR (Campaign for Sexuality Minorities Rights), a collective of LGBTQ and allied groups in Bangalore.
It was a bright sunshiny afternoon- warm with a cool breeze. The guests gathered as the lovely ladies promised to love and cherish each other as they exchanged rings. The party continued as the guests drank beer, barbecued, laughed, ate, and mingled. As I enjoyed this lovely festivities, the non drama filled, so unIndian shaadi I couldn’t help but wonder how is someone’s happiness a threat to the moral fabric of society?
‘Should I? Shouldn’t I? Will he? Won’t he?’ defines the chain of thoughts that run through every gay man’s head before messaging a random stranger they think that fits into their description of a “perfect partner” (basis a profile alone) in the big bad world of online dating.
Dosti is a Toronto-based social and support group for South Asian gay, bisexual, questioning and transgender men. Dosti has been around since the mid 90s and has come to mean a number of different things over the years. Dosti is a place where you can meet friends, cruise for guys and explore the community. Every month Dosti has social gatherings that take place in different venues where guys can chat it up with other like minded desi dudes and reconcile the fact they can be both Queer and Desi.
What I think is… if one is dating then one is definitely in a relationship, whether it is an open or a committed one! And if you are dating someone, is it really right to call yourself single because in reality you are involved emotionally/physically with someone?
I kept thinking, “What’s wrong with him? Why doesn’t he say, I know that you are gay.” He just sat there looking at me and finally I just said it. “Because I am gay.” And his mouth fell open. I was actually shocked that he hadn’t figured it out already.
The Queer Chronicle (popularly referred to as TQC) was launched in Pune (Maharashtra) in September 2009 as India’s first city-centric queer-focused monthly ezine. The magazine started with a modest readership of about 250. Twelve editions later, TQC’s readership has crossed nearly 1200 readers, with queer and queer-friendly readers in over 20 countries.
Sanjay Sanghavi is a single, urban Indian homosexual counting the last few minutes of his life. As his body clock nears to its last click, his chronicles here will take you on an emotional rollercoaster ride, right from his childhood to his adolescence, the working years and the imminent death.
Last month marked the 40th anniversary of Stonewall. In 1969, trans people, prostitutes, lesbian, bi and gay individuals fought back against a police raid of a queer establishment. They stood together to say NO to homophobia/transphobia; NO to conventional thinking, and NO to discrimination.
We had known one another for more than a year, working in the same organization, and sharing the same company accommodation. We easily discovered comfort in one another’s company. We were introduced through a common contact and very soon our professional relationship crossed personal boundaries and when exactly we got so involved, was hard to tell.
To share something so personal with everyone except with the ones who made me feels like a betrayal. So does the book itself: exposing our family, telling their stories, stories which aren’t mine. “What happens in the home, stays in the home,” my mom would warn us. Which betrayal is worse? Which betrayal weighs more?
I looked strangely nervous in response to an everyday ‘Mom’ question like the one that was just put forth to me. I could feel the sweat on my brow in spite of the ceiling fan blades rotating at full speed. My hands were bizarrely cold and numb on a hot Sunday morning resulting in the loss of my sense of touch.
Everyone’s looking for Sita. Take a glance at matrimonial classifieds, every second ad in the ‘Bride Wanted’ section starts with a sentence like: “Wanted a fair, beautiful, cultured, educated and homely girl from a good family.” One would think that there was a sea change in the thoughts and attitudes of the modern Indian society.
What I like about a rickshaw is; unlike a bus it makes for a very comfortable place to sit and hold hands without anyone eyeing you. It is nice and windy and has a privacy of its own. You can talk incessantly and stare as much as you like. What becomes difficult however is when you feel like kissing…ohhh….and that happens with me all the damn time! And that’s exactly when funny things happen.
Remember when J.K. Rowling mentioned that Dumbledore was gay? Remember how some parents were shocked and outraged that their child might have grown fond of a character that was gay?! Because heaven forbid, a child should feel affection for a gay person!
Someone who dimmed the lights, so that when I came back, my mirrored curtains shone in a soft yellow glow. Who spent the day gathering ingredients and putting them together to create a meal that made the entire house smell divine. Someone who had the table set; the chair, placed just so. Who popped the wine bottle and kept it ready, with two chilled glasses, while I showered.
[Guest Poet: The Girl]
the storm erupts
in blue flashes
and giant drums
that you are out there in it
and I am safe
Maybe someday, queer films will run in mainstream cinemas with mainstream audiences and the reaction would be the same.