I kept thinking, “What’s wrong with him? Why doesn’t he say, I know that you are gay.” He just sat there looking at me and finally I just said it. “Because I am gay.” And his mouth fell open. I was actually shocked that he hadn’t figured it out already.
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The Queer Chronicle (popularly referred to as TQC) was launched in Pune (Maharashtra) in September 2009 as India’s first city-centric queer-focused monthly ezine. The magazine started with a modest readership of about 250. Twelve editions later, TQC’s readership has crossed nearly 1200 readers, with queer and queer-friendly readers in over 20 countries.
Sanjay Sanghavi is a single, urban Indian homosexual counting the last few minutes of his life. As his body clock nears to its last click, his chronicles here will take you on an emotional rollercoaster ride, right from his childhood to his adolescence, the working years and the imminent death.
Last month marked the 40th anniversary of Stonewall. In 1969, trans people, prostitutes, lesbian, bi and gay individuals fought back against a police raid of a queer establishment. They stood together to say NO to homophobia/transphobia; NO to conventional thinking, and NO to discrimination.
We had known one another for more than a year, working in the same organization, and sharing the same company accommodation. We easily discovered comfort in one another’s company. We were introduced through a common contact and very soon our professional relationship crossed personal boundaries and when exactly we got so involved, was hard to tell.
To share something so personal with everyone except with the ones who made me feels like a betrayal. So does the book itself: exposing our family, telling their stories, stories which aren’t mine. “What happens in the home, stays in the home,” my mom would warn us. Which betrayal is worse? Which betrayal weighs more?
I looked strangely nervous in response to an everyday ‘Mom’ question like the one that was just put forth to me. I could feel the sweat on my brow in spite of the ceiling fan blades rotating at full speed. My hands were bizarrely cold and numb on a hot Sunday morning resulting in the loss of my sense of touch.
Everyone’s looking for Sita. Take a glance at matrimonial classifieds, every second ad in the ‘Bride Wanted’ section starts with a sentence like: “Wanted a fair, beautiful, cultured, educated and homely girl from a good family.” One would think that there was a sea change in the thoughts and attitudes of the modern Indian society.
What I like about a rickshaw is; unlike a bus it makes for a very comfortable place to sit and hold hands without anyone eyeing you. It is nice and windy and has a privacy of its own. You can talk incessantly and stare as much as you like. What becomes difficult however is when you feel like kissing…ohhh….and that happens with me all the damn time! And that’s exactly when funny things happen.
Remember when J.K. Rowling mentioned that Dumbledore was gay? Remember how some parents were shocked and outraged that their child might have grown fond of a character that was gay?! Because heaven forbid, a child should feel affection for a gay person!
Someone who dimmed the lights, so that when I came back, my mirrored curtains shone in a soft yellow glow. Who spent the day gathering ingredients and putting them together to create a meal that made the entire house smell divine. Someone who had the table set; the chair, placed just so. Who popped the wine bottle and kept it ready, with two chilled glasses, while I showered.
[Guest Poet: The Girl]
the storm erupts
in blue flashes
and giant drums
that you are out there in it
and I am safe
Maybe someday, queer films will run in mainstream cinemas with mainstream audiences and the reaction would be the same.
[Guest Poet: The Girl]
in the dark
wakes up only once
to say she loves me
her face so lovely
in the light of a…
Being arguably one of the largest such film festival to be held in our country, Kashish 2010 brought together Mumbai’s queer diaspora in a way hardly any other event has, before. From fashionistas and Page 3 celebs, to collegians and student filmmakers, they were all there and they all made their presence felt.
[Guest Author: Tink]
“Coming out” – I started by wondering about that word. Something about the phrase was very empowering – outdoorsy, brave, though this was hardly how I felt …
[Guest Author : Nitin Karani]
As LGBT people, we are trying to cope with several issues (read discrimination at different levels) in India, even as the decade-old fight to keep …
[ Reader Val's response to Rohit Verma Booo Hooo! ]
I have to start by saying, I am against any form of censorship. Whether the demand for it is made …