Gaysi: The Gay Desi - Yes, we're legal!

Sunday night sitting across the idiot box watching Filmfare Awards 2010; the only saving grace was the teary eyed superbly gorgeous (even @ 55+) Rekha. If my girl friend looks half as hot as her at that age, I will consider my life to be successful.

Anyway so there was the stunning Rekhaji reminiscing over her Umrao Jaan days and I couldn’t help but wonder; while the country is still stuck on her legendary affair with actor Amitabh Bachchan, how come not much has been spoken about her relationship with her hairdresser turned secretary, Farzana?

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So the guy is Gay. I know it. You know it. Your mama knows it. Your neighbors know it. Your cousins know it. Kanta bhen knows….okay maybe this is stretching it too far. But you get the point, right?

Every single soul belonging to the Page 3 circuit is aware; they gossip, link him with several men (King Khan being the favorite but of course), pick on his dressing sense, his feminine gestures, etc etc. And yet when it comes to openly talking about it, they all seem to shy away. A brilliant example of what we call an Open Secret.

The other day I was once again asked; don’t you think Karan Johar should step out of the closet and thereby be morally responsible towards the Gaysi Community?

My reply – As my darling mama would say *ghanta*. In simple words meaning, fuck shit.

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[ Reader Val's response to Rohit Verma Booo Hooo! ]

I have to start by saying, I am against any form of censorship. Whether the demand for it is made by the extreme right, left or the center. Yes, there are all sorts of misguided people who propagate dubious information to the vulnerable. I completely understand the frustration stemming from those suffering as an direct or indirect consequence. 

However, the response to these misguided people should be demolishing their credibility and creating awareness by countering this with the correct information; not by silencing them. In the very specific case of Rohit Verma, after his antics on Bigg Boss, what he says is hardly taken seriously by contestants who are not always (at the time of publishing this article, I think they are) privy to the misunderstandings he creates and his tendency to contort/exaggerate the things spoken to him in confidence and then conveying it to other parties. His credibility at Bigg Boss house is nil. Everyone’s using him for their own gains to win the game show. Needless to say, people like us who can see his true nature, unedited, thanks to a dozen cameras, should have no faith in what he propagates. Rohit is a pathological drama queen.

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Lists. I love making them. And ever since I have declared myself out in the Lezziedom, the so-called Fantasy List has been some-what a priority. I mean let’s face it; life is short and there’s so much to do!

Surely most of you have a Fantasy List; if not on paper, but definitely somewhere in the back of that lusty lecherous mind. And every time something radical, something that makes you go hmm….happens, you can’t help but wish you get to experience it at least once in your lifetime.

So yeah, since I very much glee on the fact of being the shameless kind, couple this with the entertainment pleasure for you reading folks, I present to you Top 5 must experience items (before my boobs start to sag and reach my 6-flab stomach) from my Fantasy List.

In random order….

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In the previous post our spunky reader, DK complained – lekin kab do kudiyon ko leke kuch banayengey?? – and holy cow her wish just got answered.

From the land of desi jhatkas matkas comes our very own (first) Bisexual damsel in Devang Dholakia’s 3 Nights 4 Days. Played by actress Madhuri Bhattacharya, Zoya hails from an affluent Hyderabadi Muslim family. Creative, witty, talented with special liking for sarcasm and Madonna. She always knew what she wanted from life while she was studying fashion designing. But wait-O-wait, secret thing about her is her liking for girls. Despite being disowned by her family for her sexual preferences, Zoya continues to make progress in her chosen path.

Interested? Read more here….

Honestly I don’t know about you Chic(k)lets but I’m quite a cynic when it comes to Bollywood’s interpretation of Queer folks. And I have a gut feeling that this film ain’t gonna be any different, for instance; the Production guys probably decided to go against having an out-n-out lezzie to avoid any sort of boo-haa with the moral brigade rascals. Zoya’s sexuality angle is just there to titillate the audience without any meaningful screen time. Some childhood disaster made her lean towards same sex entanglements. You get the picture….right!

Anyway no more speculation, let’s see what this Friday unfolds.

PS – Credit to be given though, the woman looks cute.

[Guest Author : Saakshi O. Juneja]

Okay, so the title may sound a little inappropriate to some considering it’s technically not a fight between two cats; more like between a cat (Celina Jaitly) and a bag of old bones (Shobha De). Oh come on be nice now, Saks! It’s not like Ms. Jaitly has been taught to respect our elders but then I also believe that every now and then it’s not a bad idea to give certain elders a taste of their own dirty medicine. So here we go…

Bag of Bones was quoted saying this in one of her usual crappy piece of journalism –

Celina Jaitly spoke sense (she was clearly being prompted via text messages during Arnab’s show, but what the hell she played the messenger convincingly), could she not have dropped the blue contact lenses, fake lashes, crazy wig and caked make up? She wasn’t shooting an item song. For someone pretty smart and articulate, Celina often gets it completely wrong when it comes to putting herself together for sober occasions. Nothing a clued-in stylist can’t fix… but fast, please!!

Ouuuchhhh! Now I don’t know about you but to me this sounds so very crude. Personal attack. But fret not; the self-appointed Queer Ambassador no way took these insults lying down. In fact she gave it back as hard…

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