Enter the dark corridors, filled with masculinity, men with hard-ons, semi-erections, fucked-up arses, lubed-up arses, rubbered dicks, noses sniffing poppers and other addictive substances, slippery warm penises entering raging intestines and mouths, hands groping all over the place - nipples, butts, muscles, hair, mouths, feet, balls, name it, you have it.
For the most part South Asians are not the most comfortable talking about sex and sexuality. Is it because we aren’t having any? Funny, I didn’t think the Kama Sutra was for coffee table reading, nor did I think that population of India surpassed a billion through abstinence. Yet we shy away from these discussions, push them into a category of shame and turn a blind eye.
She was all things Grey. In between a yes and no, unsure of left or right, in nor out. The only thing fun about all this was that she was never bored. The inner arguments and the vacillations kept her occupied for hours. Sometimes days. Free of guile and pretenses, what you saw was what you wished you got. But she seldom gave in. intimidating only if you didn’t know her, but then you never really could know her, for she didn’t want to be known. But one day, every thread was unraveled, un-done until all that remained was nothing.
A few weeks ago, while The Girl was away on yet another business trip, I was watching some mindless TV & I suddenly felt myself get really sad. It was a weird feeling, because I wasn't really sad & it felt like I was watching my mind being taken over (fans of Harry Potter might say there were Dementors in the room) by some unstoppable force.
To be honest this was not me couple of hours ago. In fact I have been on a perpetual see-saw of highs-n-lows for the past 10 days. And it all started from the minute we (Gaysi) volunteered to host “Dirty Talk” as part of the Mumbai Pride Week.
Cheery start, ain’t it? A very Happy New Year to y’all too. And while we are on the topic of cheer – I write this staring out of my window …
I love squash. In the winter, it’s pretty much all I eat. It’s such an easy food too! Just cut it open, scoop out the seeds and bake it – automatic deliciousness. However, one squash can be a lot for a person to finish as I’ve discovered, living on my own. So last night, my former roommates and I had a mini squash party and what started out as an informal get-together morphed into visiting happy hour at a local restaurant. As the night wore on, my former desi roommate blurts out, “Oh, I have something to tell you!”, but refused to say it in front of the group.
(Part Two of Banished from India: A Two-Part Story with Audience Participation)
The Audience Participation in response to Part One was so thoughtful, I can’t help but feel that many …
As a child, I traveled to India every four years with my family to see relatives. I hated it because I got deathly sick from dysentery, because my parents tried to dress me up in girly clothes, because relatives pinched my cheeks too hard. I would now say I had the luxury to hate it.
Somebody asked me today, what is love to me? I think every ones definition of love is different; love is what you believe it is. To me it is accepting the pain that it will bring along. I fear it. And right now I am using this space as an outlet because I have decided that I will conquer it soon.
I tried to think of a more subtle title, but couldn’t. There’s nothing subtle or artful or profound in the end of what was once a beautiful relationship. And I’ll be honest – it was the best relationship I’ve ever been in, to date.
If you could go back in time with a Queer Time Machine, that would take your out and proud self, back in time, What would you do? What parts of your life would you go back to? What things would you do differently?
I got word on Facebook about a new TV show, DeSiCiTi, via Brown Girl Magazine and Good Indian Girl.
DeSiCiTi is allegedly a desified version of Sex and the …
My first lover was a woman who identified as butch. She spent a lot of time, or so I felt, in trying to define me. I never found myself conforming to any identities. There were days I felt generally macho and I’d slip into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. And there were days where I’d find feminine wiles flowing out of me in my pretty blue lucknowi kurta-salwar and dangling jaipuri jhumkas. Shortly after I came out I also shaved off my long tresses and walked around unabashedly with my shorn head.
Breaking news – I have officially joined the ranks of the employed! Realizing that I don’t want to spend my post-undergrad gap year living with my parents was pretty good incentive to intensify the job search. And I landed one that I really love!
My girlfriend & I moved to our shiny new flat about two months ago. Our home is still under the tyrannical reign of builders who have very nasty toilet habits and keep saying 'We'll be done by the end of next week' and then that next week never arrives.
We're still living out of boxes and we're absolutely broke. But we're happy.
My mom has known I like girls for almost two years now. My brother was one of the first people I came out to, shortly after coming to the realization myself. A few weeks after that, on an impromptu trip home, my brother told my mom what she later started referring to as, “The Secret.”
During this quest for a BFF, I had this one conversation with my Buddy, which changed everything. I don’t remember clearly what sparked that conversation. But I remember discussing gay and lesbian relationships. And how normal it felt and how neither of us agreed with the stigma attached to it. Maybe it was my rebellious 14-year old speaking, but it was my first conversation about LGBT and it was like any other chat with The Buddy. And I just knew then, that I would be attracted to a person, not their gender identity. Just like The Buddy felt too (or so I thought).
Back then I was fascinated with car rides. She had a white santro. I would rush out of work to ask her for a lift, even if it meant changing in two minutes and running down five floors in twenty seconds. I did it every day. And on the days I missed her I hated myself. I was enamored by her.
There are times when I look at my girlfriend and realize…I could marry this girl. Not just because I adore weddings. Not just because we’re still in what could be considered the early U-Haul stage of our relationship. But just because she feels so incredibly right. We’ve been through our rough patches – hell, I thought for sure that we weren’t going to make it as little as 2 or 3 months ago – but every time we’ve hit a set-back, we’ve somehow come out stronger.