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Do you want the right to marry?

Posted by Broom on Jul 19 2011 at 4:46 pm

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Broom

Personally, I want all the rights that married heterosexuals have. I don't care what it's called (civil union, civil partnership, marriage). I don't care if temples & churches & mosques can refuse to formalise our relationships. As long as I am not denied any social, legal rights, I am happy.

Posted 1 year ago | Permalink
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Biryani

Marriage itself is not the right thing, and I don't know what rights are you talking about.

Are you looking for the right to carry same (heterosexual) stinking relationship that you will HAVE to carry for your entire life no mater if you want or not?

Are you looking for the right to possess someone legally while you are afraid that he/she may leave you if love fades?

The only benefit I see in heterosexual marriage is to grow your family. That's it.

God has given you opportunity to be free, to live as you want, to be free and let others free.

So enjoy this freedom and throw the kind of insecurity you have.

Marriage is born because of our securities, and it has done a filthy job of killing LOVE from this world.

Posted 1 year ago | Permalink
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Queer Coolie

I want to same rights as everyone else. To be no more or no less with my sexuality in the equation.

If that means the right to marry , then yes!
If that means an Great Big Fat Indian Wedding with all the drama & shenanigans of a Bollywood potboiler, then yes!
If that means, the ability to have a relationship with a woman that allows us automated civil rights and responsibilities to each other, then yes!

Love is a variable in marriage regardless of sexuality. But feeling and being human is worth fighting for.

Posted 1 year ago | Permalink
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tink

Well, I'd like to have the right to marry, thanks very much. Because I believe no state or religion should dictate how two people choose to solemnize or formalize their relationship and celebrate it. But on the same note, and for the same reasons (i.e. that marriage has too much to do with state and religion and is far too much reminiscent of a time when the state basically regulated sexuality), I'd like to have the choice not to marry and not be judged for it. But then again, LOTS of heterosexuals make that choice, so the basic answer to your question: hells yeah. I want the right to marry.

Posted 1 year ago | Permalink
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LaVidaLoca

I want the same rights and respect for everyone. One can choose not to be married/have kids and so on. But no can force me(or anyone) to do/not do something. As long as it is an open, available choice, it's ok.

Posted 1 year ago | Permalink
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Broom

@Biryani - Actually there are a whole host of rights that married heterosexuals take for granted. Depending on which state or country you're in, this includes things like tax benefits, right to visit your partner in the hospital, right to sponsor your partner for citizenship (if they're from a different country), the right to inherit your partners stuff (rather than having the government or their potentially estranged family taking away everything you built together if the partner dies), the right to make health decisions for them if they were incapacitated, the right to have custody of their children from previous relationships etc. etc.

So, HELL YEAH! I want the rights that heterosexuals have - it's not about being insecure & feeling like my partner will leave me if we're not married. I was once married to a man & filed for divorce, so I know first hand that marriage does not mean a guaranteed relationship.

Posted 1 year ago | Permalink
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misszero

I'm with Broom. There are all sorts of legal benefits to marriage like everything Broom mentioned, along with things like tax breaks and health/life insurance. Gay couples have to spend tons of time and money to get things like a medical power of attorney secured, but even that is no guarantee, because there aren't enough legal precedents where queer issues are concerned - so a conservative judge could just as easily strike down any such paperwork on the grounds that "life partners" are technically not "married". I don't care if it's called marriage or not, and I also don't care about ceremonies or religion or anything - I care that at the end of the day, I have the same civil rights that my peers in hetero relationships have. I don't feel like my relationship needs to be validated by a piece of paper, but I need to know that in the worst case scenarios, I have the legal right to be treated as a spouse, not as a roommate.

Posted 1 year ago | Permalink
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Rashmi

I wouldn't rephrase the question to say "I would want all the rights that are attached to a marriage". I agree with Broom - I don't care what you want to call it personally but when I tell the other person is my life partner, I would want all the same legal, marital and other rights attached to any conjugal relationships to my relationship. I say "conjugal" because sex seems to be the underlying motive for a marriage in society over anything else.

Posted 1 year ago | Permalink
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AmBeR

There are couples out there who want to get married and have KIDS too!!
Now in Indian system, be it educational or other formal procedure, when we are asked to fill up the forms they ask mother's, father's name and husband's name for a married woman. If a child is having two mums what is he/she supposed to write there!!
So just decriminalizing homosexuality isn't enough. We must be granted all the legal rights that heterosexuals have. I want my partner to be legally treated as my spouse!

Posted 1 year ago | Permalink
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Madhu

HELLS TO THE YES!

My reasons are twofold:

1. The obvious desire for equal rights and legal recognition.

2. The desire for social validation. Marriage as an institution is a significant social rite of passage here, and I admit that I have deep insecurities about how mainstream society in India tends to view homosexual relationships with skepticism or worse (even ones in which both partners have been committed to each other for ages). If marriage were an option, it would greatly increase the visibility of homosexual couples, and thereby help foster a healthier and more balanced perspective of the gay community at large.

3. The desire for personal validation. I am tempted to envy those who can seamlessly crossover from 'dating' to 'in a long-term relationship' to 'committed' without ever feeling the need to get married, but being the hopeless romantic that I am, I someday want to be able to part in a ritual which celebrates my decision to dedicate the remainder of my life to my partner.. I want to experience that special day, damn it.. Bridal couture, flowers, wedding cake, mushy songs et al.! :P

Posted 1 year ago | Permalink
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Madhu

^for the record, I was never particularly strong at math. XD

Posted 1 year ago | Permalink
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Srini

why does everyone seem to want only what the 'hetero' people want?

what does this gay world want? an alternative lifestyle? a 'no-marriage' society that has brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, uncles, aunts, god-knows-who-all as relationship partners?

hey - time we stopped getting into the hetero-normative! I'm shocked that the flurry of posts saying we too want 'hetero-like-lives' !

Posted 1 year ago | Permalink
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Srini

the right to marry is everyone's. but I don't want it because I'll be like another heterosexual.

I would think of marrying someone, if I felt that person and I were one, and were meant to be so for life.

marry me, marry my brain, and my deep, dusky eyes with a fire shining within, brighter than the sea of light around it. brighter than just everything around me and you.

Posted 1 year ago | Permalink
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Easy Seasons

Of Course, I def want the right to marry the person I love.. why should it make me any difference if I love a woman!

love is love..and it is beyond skin color, race or sex..

I'm totally with Broom on the legal aspect of it.. esp the "right to visit your partner in the hospital" .. I cant even imagine what I would become if this right is denied (reminds me of If these walls could talk 2) ..

Posted 1 year ago | Permalink
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sasha

I do :) All my life, I have never been so interested in making someone mine, until I met this girl I 'actually' fell in love with, for the very first time in my life.

I want her more than anything else in the world. And I want the world to at least know subtly that she is 'all mine' for life.

Posted 1 year ago | Permalink
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Hen A

Yes. Period.

The fact that I have to ask for this indicates something is wrong.

Now whether I want to get married or not is an entirely different question. But if I want to, I should not have to check if I can :)

Posted 10 months ago | Permalink
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Shri

Exactly! It is important to have equal rights, whether to use it or not is a personal choice.

Posted 10 months ago | Permalink