Archive for the tag Homophobia

The Nu(Q)ear Family

I find it funny how the conservative desis in my community look down on those that get pregnant by accident, get married too young, or elope. It was especially entertaining keeping my partner's "illegitimate child" a secret for three years for the sake of these desis. These conservative desis also look down on us gaysis, but on the other hand, we often don’t have the option of having children “by accident” or getting married “on a whim”.

The Karela Story So Far…

Comparing the Queer scenario in India to that in the West is like comparing Karela (Bitter Gourd) to an Apple. Although both belong to the Edible Fruit family; Apple is what we are trained to like right from infancy...as for Karela, it’s shrugged aside for its ugly appearance, bitter taste and we couldn’t give a damn about all the goodness it contains.

Queer Ears Can Listen

Recently my closest friend that I ever had and lost told me “sorry,” the apology I was waiting for but got after I stopped expecting it. She realized she needed to talk to me more but I realized I needed to listen more. I want to be that go-to friend. I want to stay up all night listening, not talking.

When Unconscious

How do you know

What is really happening

When you’re unconscious?

How do you trust,

Really trust, those around you?

If you are left pregnant

And you hadn’t had sex,…

Walking With Pride @ New Delhi

It was a jubilant warm November afternoon. More than 3000 colorful people, irrespective of their gender identity, participated in the march, and danced like crazy to the beats of ‘dhol’. Last year, I felt alienated amongst them but this time I felt like I belonged there. It felt right. Though I wonder if there is really a change in the perception. There were not many people wearing masks or veils. Many were open with big smiles to the shutter of the thousand cameras.

Cure For Just Rs.2100!

Dr.Dilbag's clinic has a team of "qualified" and "professional" Ayurvedic and Homeopathic doctors, who can cure homosexuality and other sexual problems. They have branches in Delhi and Amritsar (Gaysis from Delhi, please see what these guys are upto). Unfortunately doctors like Dilbag are not a rarity. Unethical medical practices, including conversion therapies, are prescribed and administered by several qualified doctors across India. These doctors let their personal belief systems and judgments get in their way of offering proper medical advice, and claim a person's sexual orientation can be changed.

Beginnings

What do I mean? Well, I went to a co-ed school. I read books and had people about me who thought that finding out stuff about sex was to be expected and encouraged. So theoretically speaking I’d come across the possibility of same-sex relationships by the time I was, maybe, 12ish. (Okay, that’s cause I used to sneak into the adults section of the library.) It took me till 15ish to realize people around me, grown up or otherwise thought same-sex sex was a hideous awful thing and people so inclined were sick, genetically or otherwise.

Pregnant With You…

this poem was written by me to my partner (spouse... by any other name) parikshith (pari). we both are men. we both are in love with each other. yes, we are homosexuals and much that we all are pregnant with love, and one could see these emotions emerge for anyone. yes nature and biology doesnt give us men the opportunity to be pregnant. the feeling but persists and takes different forms and expressions. sad that many still feel relationships with a possibility of procreation are only "natural"... the fact is the word mother is beyond gender.

November Pride Event Report

As was mentioned in the Pride schedule, last Monday was the first meeting of family and friends of LGBT people in Bangalore. It was moderated by Vinay and organised by Docsid, and we are all excited at the response at the meeting. The discussion was honest and far-ranging, and the end, the participants decided to continue these meetings and also act as a support group for other parents. Vinay and Docsid did a marvellous job in pulling this off! Below is the report - it is rather long, but worth reading in full.

Self-Hate : Part 2

As I have been juggling 5 different medications for my epilepsy I have been lifeless, friendless, and loveless. As I have stopped eating I have lost weight and I have been secretly excited about it. Who is this that is excited about being skinny again? I thought I was that fat-positive queer, feminist. Where has she gone?

An Outrageous Case of Homophobia!

Titled "Anbudan Andharangam", Dinamalar's weekly column claims to offers advice to readers on personal and intimate issues. Last Sunday, a young closeted gay man wrote a letter asking for help. He is very sure about his sexuality. His family is trying to arrange his marriage. He doesn't want to get married, but at the same time he is scared of coming out to them.

The Ostrich Syndrome

There are times when I wish I could just cut off ties and be 'free'. I know that this is impossible because I love them too much. Then I have conversations in my head where I confront them and tell them how mean and hurtful they're being. 'Am I a drug dealer? Am I a prostitute? Am I a bum without a job or a future?', I demand, in these imaginary confrontations. 'Where is the unconditional love that a parent is meant to give their child?', I follow up. All in my head.

A Lovely Mummy

I have noticed that straight desi girls and ladies, sometimes the ones who haven’t been through trials, often have weak relationships with their mothers or “just-for-show” relationships with their mothers. These friends often seem jealous of the fact that I am close to my mother. What they do not realize is that it took my mother a long time to come to understand me, her youngest daughter. It was a rickety journey after which she became my lovely little mummy.

QueerCampus India (QCI) : Delhi Public Meeting

Queer Campus India- this is your space to speak your mind, share your experiences with respect to coming out, family, friends, realization of your sexuality, your specific interests or what you expect from a queer youth support group like QCI. Feel free to give ideas or suggestions for QCI. We will also talk about implementing future QC...I objectives- like organizing QCI in other cities, ways of reaching out to queer youth, QCI activities etc.

Crazy, Yes But Live Life, We Do!

Hats off to a mom who not only supported her kid's choice of dressing, rather cross dressing in a character he so enjoys but also standing up to other moms (I read it as 'showing the finger') and then blogging about it and thus recording a million hits in this process. She has 42000 comments and counting on this post and if only the elections were a little late, I am sure this would have been a decisive factor in this year's mid term elections!

Caring About The Queer Stuff

I have had some friends tell me that this queer stuff isn’t so important to them, and with some friends it’s when they don’t tell me anything about queer issues and that’s how I know it isn’t important to them. Well, in general, some say that one should focus on their own thing because no one will do anyone else’s dirty work for them. I guess that’s a big gulp to gulp for me because I’m a social work student and I take great pride and joy in wanting to help people and help myself.

Self Righteousness, Invasion of Privacy and A Threatening Hate Mail

A transwoman filing for a name change in her license was surprised to find hate mail along with her new license. Gee, How happy could one be? Apparently, the employee at the DMV office who processed her application found it perfect to teach her some morality based on Bible, while crossing the ethics and invading privacy, not to mention adhering to a concept of hate in the first place.
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