I have noticed that straight desi girls and ladies, sometimes the ones who haven’t been through trials, often have weak relationships with their mothers or “just-for-show” relationships with their mothers. These friends often seem jealous of the fact that I am close to my mother. What they do not realize is that it took my mother a long time to come to understand me, her youngest daughter. It was a rickety journey after which she became my lovely little mummy.
The Gay Desi
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Posts tagged - Homophobia
QueerCampus India (QCI) : Delhi Public Meeting
Queer Campus India- this is your space to speak your mind, share your experiences with respect to coming out, family, friends, realization of your sexuality, your specific interests or what you expect from a queer youth support group like QCI. Feel free to give ideas or suggestions for QCI. We will also talk about implementing future QC…I objectives- like organizing QCI in other cities, ways of reaching out to queer youth, QCI activities etc.
Crazy, Yes But Live Life, We Do!
Hats off to a mom who not only supported her kid’s choice of dressing, rather cross dressing in a character he so enjoys but also standing up to other moms (I read it as ‘showing the finger’) and then blogging about it and thus recording a million hits in this process. She has 42000 comments and counting on this post and if only the elections were a little late, I am sure this would have been a decisive factor in this year’s mid term elections!
Caring About The Queer Stuff
I have had some friends tell me that this queer stuff isn’t so important to them, and with some friends it’s when they don’t tell me anything about queer issues and that’s how I know it isn’t important to them.
Well, in general, some say that one should focus on their own thing because no one will do anyone else’s dirty work for them. I guess that’s a big gulp to gulp for me because I’m a social work student and I take great pride and joy in wanting to help people and help myself.
Self Righteousness, Invasion of Privacy and A Threatening Hate Mail
A transwoman filing for a name change in her license was surprised to find hate mail along with her new license. Gee, How happy could one be?
Apparently, the employee at the DMV office who processed her application found it perfect to teach her some morality based on Bible, while crossing the ethics and invading privacy, not to mention adhering to a concept of hate in the first place.
Movie Review : A Jihad For Love
It portrays on the confusion of every Muslim individual that they face in loving their religion and accepting themselves as gay . The movie travels across from Egypt to India and everywhere in between and to South Africa. I really liked the clarity of the Imam from South Africa who made a big impact on me. He talks about the different facets of Islam and the way the modern world has embraced it.
Dunno Y Bollywood Is Not O.K with Gays [Our World This Week]
Close on this article’s heels comes news that the release of Dunno Y…. has been delayed because the charming chaps of the Bhartiya Yuva Morcha protested ( Are these guys new ? never heard of them ? must be an offshoot of an offshoot of an offshoot of the SS. wow.) Apparently, Homosexuality is against Indian culture. Ok folks! After Halloween – we all go back to being straight o.k ? Party time over. I kid – but you get the drift – There are people in this world who dare define Indian culture.
Queer Desis With Class
My parents have had to pay to put three children through University (in different countries) as well as pay for the expenses that go with me having an increasingly severe disability. And obviously we sometimes like to celebrate our new, more comfortable lifestyle by going on vacations, but it is not always as indulgent since we are not accustomed to doing vacations. We have to be so much more careful, and this always reminds me of how I need to prepare myself for my inevitably poor future.
Bombay Gymkhana : Discriminating Then, Discriminating Now
Earlier in April this year, Indian Trans activist Laxmi Narayan Tripathi, an invitee of the TEDx conference at Mumbai was asked to leave by the Management of the Bombay Gymkhana. All this happened while the conference was in session. As a sign of solidarity several people walked out. Dailies and tabloids wrote about this and everyone screamed at such a blatant act of discrimination. The President of the club just went into hiding, no questions answered. The Management had not expressed any regret; not even a melodramatic half-hearted apology was rendered. Not that it would have made any difference.
Gays And The Internet [Our World This Week]
There’s been much internet-related gay news this week. Some of it, the first of its kind, and some, downright sad. Eighteen year old Tyler Clementi, a freshman at Rutgers University, New Jersey, committed suicide is thought to have jumped off the George Washington bridge after a video of him being intimate with another man went viral on the internet.
Yet An Other Bullying
It is so tragic that a gay student has taken his life off due to bullying and invasion of privacy. Even after years of Mathew Sheppard and countless of registered and unregistered statistics (read suicides, murder… ), many countries and states do not yet have litigation to protect minorities. But isn’t this a social problem? How much does it take for someone to respect others’ privacy? Why makes assholes do things that are so destructive?
Don’t Ask Don’t Tell : Hogwash!
The DADT policy was enacted to allow gay and lesbian individuals to serve in the military as long as they did not disclose and/or engage in homosexual acts. Effectively, it meant they had to remain in the closet and/or celibate. Failing which these individuals could be discharged from the military.
Stephanie Rice Pays A Hefty Price
Have you heard of Australian swimmer Stephanie Rice? I hadn’t till a few days ago. Apparently she was watching a rugby match between Australia & South Africa and after the Australian team beat the South African team, she tweeted, “Suck on that, f@gg*ts!” Because, you know, the South African team is clearly gay if they couldn’t beat the Australian team, because gays are such losers and not men enough.
Unconditional Love
In many ways I am thankful to have the family that I do. My father seems indifferent about who I date, and just doesn’t like to talk about feelings. However, although my mother wasn’t the most supportive person when I came out of the closet, I truly believe that she did her best considering her place in this world. She didn’t even consider disowning me, and I acknowledge that as a privilege because I have seen friends (desi and non-desi) struggle with the fear of being disowned for going against their parent’s wishes.
Give And Take
I first came out as a lesbian when I started college as an undergrad. I went through all the rites of passage that the white queers had set up for me, and I abandoned the straight desi girls. I’m not necessarily sad that I abandoned them. I missed them later and tried to play catch-up, but their never-ending conversations about how their evil parents wouldn’t let them buy that coach purse, and how scary black men are were ridiculous and tiring. And somehow I always managed to subconsciously find my way back to the closet whenever I was in their company.
Are You Scared Of [Some] Straight People ?
Are you scared of [some] straight people ? Have you ever been ? Do you wonder if the person sitting next to you on the train or waiting in line behind you at the coffee shop is a threat to your well being if they discover you are gay ?
It doesn’t happen often …luckily. But there have been these situations when the hair at the back of my neck has stood up and I’ve either been on the edge or lied about my sexual orientation for what I considered basic self preservation.
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Recent comments
Hen A
It is sad that Tyler’s mother sat in the court trying to hold Ravi...
Dharun Ravi Sentence: Fair or Unfair?
Hen A
He did apologize to Clementi through SMS, but it reached seconds after he...
Dharun Ravi Sentence: Fair or Unfair?
Hen A
Fair. What he did was wrong. But he was not directly responsible for...
Dharun Ravi Sentence: Fair or Unfair?
mri
Very unfair. Jeez… he is getting away.. but i disagree on the accord...
Dharun Ravi Sentence: Fair or Unfair?
anon
this is so beautifully written!
It Was Nice To See You
The Cookboy
Chicklet – Ill do some Asian recipes soon.
Chicken & Chorizo
The Cookboy
MJ – what do you mean by Diet (Quick)? If you mean light, then these recipes...
Chicken & Chorizo
The Cookboy
Beautifully written. Really enjoyed reading this.
It Was Nice To See You