I am a pansexual woman and I am in a relationship with a straight cis-man for the past two years. He is an amazing person, and he accepts and embraces my identity. However, people no longer see me as a queer person anymore, I have become another straight woman to them.
As someone who had been the new kid too many times and didn’t have a close group of friends, I longed to fit in somewhere. I desperately wanted to be a part of the queer community. I took so many “Am I Gay?” and “Where are you on the Kinsey Scale” quizzes, modifying my answers to get the result I wanted.
The acronym LGBT+ came in my life when I had a feeling I might love women. I was not sure until I turned 20. Before that, I defined myself as heterosexual ? a woman who loved men.
It is a sexual and emotional orientation that identifies with having intimate and romantic relationships with any and every gender.
One such hurdle I am currently trying to overcome, is understanding my sexuality. Most of us go through phases where we question or experience something unique in terms of relationships and the kind of love we accept.
Pan (and bisexual) people are often subjected to violence both within and outside the community with words like ‘greedy’ attached to their choices of who to love. Not only is that hypocritical to say, it is also something we should all consciously fight.
Like a panacea, a magic formula for all sickness
Or the ancient supercontinent Pangaea,
Panromantic and Pansexual is an affinity
Less to do with gender and more to do,
I once asked her what she identified as. She proceeded to tell me that while she identified as pansexual, she chose to tell people she was bisexual. At the time, this was a little tough for me to understand. However, over time, I began to understand why she did it.
While questioning my gender and understanding the ‘concepts’ of masculinity and femininity only came to me years later, that was an eye-opener for me.
At the age of 18, I was in a railway station when I saw her
In a sari, decked up.
With flowers in her hair and I felt something.
Attraction? Nothing mild about it.
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, pansexuality means to be “not limited in sexual choice with regard to biological sex, gender, or gender identity.”
After Lesbian Visibility Day in April, May is filled with important days that remind us of the strength we have in our diversity.
Bisexuality is defined as experiencing sexual attraction to two or more genders. Pansexuality, on the other hand, is an attraction to all genders.
We all have struggles, and because I am a white male from a relatively open culture and family, I hesitate to stake a claim.
Like most sexual identities, this one comes with its own share of trials and tribulations.
For misconceptions to exist, there probably needs to be more awareness about the term in the first place.