I have been asked, more than once & by more than one person, about why the hell would I want to tell my parents about me and The Girl. Some of my cousins feel that I should hide the fact that I’m gay, from my parents, for the rest of my life. A few people have commented on this blog asking about this crazy need to out myself.
I know that they mean no malice & that they feel that they’re perhaps ‘protecting’ my parents. But let me reverse the situation.
What if you (and by ‘you’ I mean – a person who believes I should just stay in this nice comfortable closet & not come out to my parents) were in love with someone that your parents just cannot fathom you being with. So you fall for whatever it is that you think your parents would get a heart attack over – Muslim, Hindu, Christian, Divorcee, Widower. Take your pick. I’m assuming here that it’s an opposite sex relationship. For the sake of convenience, let’s also assume you & this person you’re crazy about, live in a different continent from your parents & therefore keeping him/her a secret is really easy.
Would you be willing to spend the rest of your life lying to your parents about being in the most intimate relationship with this person? Would you be willing to let half the world know about your relationship but let your parents stay in the dark? How would this reflect on your partner? Do you think he or she is not worthy of your parents acceptance?
My Girl has never ever put pressure on me to come out to anyone, least of all my parents. The only time she says she would want my parents to know about us is when I ask her if she would live in India with me in my parents house for a year or so, should we go back. And even then she says she’d live in India in our own place, if I wasn’t able to come out to my parents.
Coming out to my parents is not something I want to do, it’s something I need to do. For my Girl, for myself and it may not be obvious, but I need to do this for my parents too.
Cross posted at Broombox.