How open minded are we truly when we say we are? May be we should all sit back and think about it and IMO it a relative expression. There is always a confined limit, I mean, there is always a “but” to everything, isn’t it? The reason I am bringing this up is because of something that took place at a dinner event recently.
So it goes…
We were throwing a b’day party to one of our friends (most of whom I am not out to yet) and there was a pregnant lady amongst us. So during dinner, the topic obviously steered towards the sex of the baby. I tried not to cringe and amusingly told myself, “Ah! don’t celebrate yet fellas. You never know when that could change!”.
And slowly it drifted with people shouting what they thought the sex would be or rather what they wished, I thought. Then someone mentioned how she knew for sure it would be a girl and that the kid would grow up to be totally Butch. Immediately the pregnant lady remarked , ahhh, tomboy is okay but not butch please ! She was jestful but I actually cringed this time around.
On my drive back from the city, my gray cells fired up and I started my dissection process of what makes people say things like that. Seriously! This is someone who lives in one of the gayest cities in the world. Could it have been any different had they known if there was a queer amongst them at the table ? In a way I was happy I was not out because at least they did not watch out to be polite or politically correct. I was thinking, She works in an industry where being queer is so commonplace. Inf act, based on my conversations with her, she sounded like a really cool person and she would be the kind of person whom I would be totally comfortable with coming out to, I guess. I am sure if she has a queer kid, sibling,etc. she would be totally supportive and I have no doubts about it. She would be the kind of person who would put herself as a very “broad minded” and open, accepting person, and I would not question it for the most part but…
Why is it then that such people who are actual allies in the war against prejudice would chose their kith and kin to be no different? Is it a latent phobia that prevents some of them or, is it just the case that having seen the struggles of the community they would prefer an easier ride for their own kids? What exactly is that?
By the time I reached home, I hoped I was wrong about the pregnant lady. I hoped I was seriously overreacting!