You walk towards the women’s restroom in the mall. You are about to open the door when you hear running footsteps from inside. As you open the door, a mom and her 6 year old playful son walk past by. You step in and walk past the rows of open stalls on one side and the basins on the other. As you are walking to the farthest stall as you always do, you notice an androgynous person washing their hand. You could see the reflection from the mirror. You make eye contact and acknowledge with a smile. You open the stall door and find the seat raised.
What goes on in your mind immediately? Did you think the person who was cleaning up at the basin raised it? Or, Did you think the boy raised the seat? Or, Were you too preoccupied with something else?
Very often, in our lives, we need to make decisions in a split second. We use stereotypes to help us get comfortable with unfamiliar situations – people, things, etc. Stereotype, however can also let us judge stuff without giving the other person a fair chance. When do we draw the line? Or rather, how do we know when to draw this line? When and how would we know to distinguish what we see from what is true particularly when what we see is misplaced in time?
Oooh. Bravo !!! This is the most concise pot-boiler of a post I have read!
*Hugs* Rashmi – You ask an important question. One that doesn’t have answers necessarily, but a question that one can learn from. And I did ! Thank you 🙂
Hello Rashmi. I must first say I love your posts, you write really well.
I am a transitioning woman and have been spending a lot of time here on Gaysi lately. As someone who is androgynous, and stuck in this state now for almost forever, guess I am a walking free Test-Your-Skills-in-Gender-Attribution for everyone. When I am in a good mood I do enjoy the confusion I cause in other people. But at the end of the day, it is always safe to fit in to the female archetype that’s on average person’s mind. I will never know what’s behind the wistling from hawkers at Mumbai CST or smiles from women as I walk down Macy’s. What I do know is my own fears and envies and my frustration as I battle them- and that’s the only truth there is.
Thanks Rashmi. Thank you editors and all of Gaysi team for so many heart-felt and wonderful posts.
@QC- That was the intention. I did not want to say “this is right, that is wron” type. I think we are intelligent enough as a species to evaluate that.
@Sneha – THANKS so much. I thought I was the only transitioning desi for a long time now. Ditto on everything you say, including the fact that I write well :D(Its ok to be shameless at times naa!)