My colleague at work asked me today – so when do you plan to come out at work now that you told your parents? Along the same lines he mentioned, I think it could be tough for you here given the conservativeness of our workplace. I know he was genuinely concerned for me and not really worrying me.
I always thought it wouldn’t be too tough for me to come out at my current workplace. Yes, there will be the initial weirdness followed by the weirdness while visiting the restrooms but largely it is a very professional environment and people respect each other and gossip less, at least not very apparently. Given there are statutes against discrimination and the firms in my geographical area are fairly diverse, coming out should not be a big surprise to my company – at least not to the HR and executives.
However, with my parents aging, I have been wondering lately what it would mean to move back and live openly in India. I have been asking myself – Should I transition completely and then move to India and live openly which looks more probable, or should I end up living in stealth*. But that would mean living a life in hiding all over again.
So I started my research. In this process, I hit upon this article [Link].
My questions to folks who live in India:
What is your take on the policies in the India-based firms? Since they work internationally, could I assume they are cognizant about equality at the workplace? Even if one is not officially out at work, how do colleagues take it should they know someone is queer? I am very curious to get these answers. May be my questions are stupid but I tend to believe there are no stupid questions ever.
*Stealth, a commonly used word in the trans community means living a life in the preferred gender role while completely shutting out any history of the past. Its like living in cover.
Rashmi. I came out to a half a dozen of my colleagues and close friends/seniors at work in Mumbai. The one I knew who would perhaps handle it well, who needed to know — because being queer was/is an important part of my identity.
While their reactions have been very positive, they all advise staying in the cover. In my case, a past divorce helps my case/coverup! (whoever, thought–ex-husbands would actually help a present situation!)
Having said that, I have a ton of friends who are out at work. And mostly in the media/entertainment space. They seem to manage just fine…
Like everything, I guess… coming out is a matter of time, space and location:) Being at the right time, right place I guess!
As TT mentioned, being an out Queer is comparatively easier in spaces as pointed out by her. But this doesn’t stop the gossiping. People love to talk, especially when it concerns someone else’s personal life.
Then there is the question of gender equality policies; most Indian firms do not have them laid down. And if it they do, well it’s only on papers. I mean we are still way off when it comes Man vs. Woman acceptance, sexuality acceptance will take time. A lot of time.
But then again there are those who live by their own rules, and the society can go take a hike. 😀