See, it’s not like I wanted a cozy little box with a clearly defined label that I could comfortably fold myself into. I’ve always disliked labels. But nevertheless, I was curious. Curious to know which category or stereotype I fall under simply because they exist and they seem to be reference points for our community. But the problem was, the conventional ones made me extremely uncomfortable.
The Universe, apparently, was in a cheerful mood when body types were being handed out. And I was lucky enough to be bundled out of the manufacturing plant with ‘Lean’ stamped on my ass. This, coupled with the short hair and a love for jeans and tee was the perfect example of “androgyny”. Much to my annoyance, though, I kept getting flung into Team Butch after a once over. Talk about judging a book by its cover. Sometimes when everyone projects the same image of you over and over, you become what everyone says you are. Maybe I was butch, after all. But before I could completely get used to the idea of being Butch, an opposing group protested, while patting my head indulgently.
Alright, so I wasn’t butch. So then, was I femme? I thought about it. And realized that the term ‘Femme’ didn’t sit very well with me either. I was never a girly girl. And although I pay attention to dressing well, I certainly don’t dress up, save for the occasional bare minimum make-up.
All of which left me with a question. Which team did I belong to? Then I remembered a word, a friend had thrown around casually amidst jokes:‘Futch’. And I thought, well, that is something I can certainly get used to. It sounded right. It sounded good. Not butch, but not femme either. I liked this term. It was fluid, like sexuality. It was flexible, like the roles in the bedroom (Top, bottom, bottom, top. Fuck it. We’ll do it standing). It came with enough room to experiment. And it came with the power to break stereotypes.
So, there you have it Gaysis. I’m a Futch. What about you?
Is that you? Or, may be you can post a picture here so we can judge better 🙂
I think labels never make sense. Everyday, I go through a process of revalidation and reassessment f who I am. And sometimes I realised, I should not care anyone else says as long as I know who it is.
Aye. It’s not me. You know how I look like, no? Guess labels like everything else are fluid as well! 😀
Yeah.. a picture and we can have a poll here…:-P
But seriously, labels/terms/words/nouns evolved for the sake of convenience of communication. Sticking to the ones that evolved a couple of centuries ago, and asking people to conform to them is as meaningful as asking people to always carry a club for defense.
True, that. Evolution is the key word here. 🙂
I call myself a chapstick lesbian – another name for ‘Futch’. 🙂
Broom, you by any other name will sound as hot. *_*
Flattery will get you everywhere…
i’ve taken to using “garden variety queer” as my identifier. people tend to go, “what’s that”, and i go, “it’s me, whatever that is!” :p
Hahahaha. I should try that! ^_^ Garden variety queer. Heh. 😀
I just call myself “Hot”….it’s really that simple. 😀
Pch. You don’t count. You always get to test drive. Labels don’t matter as far as you go. Grr.
I think I’m Futch too, good post! 🙂
🙂 Thank you.
whats with the Lesbian world these days.. we believe in labelling everything we see … coffee mugs, tea cups, cars, politicians, breakfasts …I can tolerate all this.. and then we take it one step further and start labelling soft toys and dolls.. CAN YOU Beat that… The Icing on the cake– LABELS for soft toys and dolls!?
And then the cherry on the Icing on the cake– Thats taking totally to the next level: Labelling our ownselves -?!?!?! Butch, Femme, and then what was that my dear friend? FUTCH>! Wow! what’s next… LOL
Since you’re here, you might as well try reading the first paragraph.
I wear dresses and heels, and shorts and crocs,thats futch right?
The question is, do you think you’re Futch?
Yeah! i agree.. we need not label our selves.. and in this case i also believe in the fluidity of sexuality.. lesbian, bi, not so bi…inclined more towards women/men… or watever u like baby!
At the end of the day keep it real!! and just flow…
Neat Post, Lady J ! … and oooooooh. you definitely aren’t butch 😀 no ma’am !
Futch works!
Me? I work under the label of Superstar.
Thank you, Superstar. *_*
I’m a femme in pants. The most common tag I receive from others so far is, ‘cutie’ so I’ll go with that 😀
Pants are good. Yes. And so is Cutie. *nods*
WHAT. I always assumed that photo was of you. I don’t even know you anymore…
Along the lines of Broom, I’ve been called a chapstick lesbian (lipstick lesbian that dresses a little more comfortable) but it was by a straight girl so I’m not sure how credible my source is…
Reminds me, a kid I was working with told me that she’s stemme – in between a stud and a femme.
Eh. You know how I look. Twitter, woman. You look like you could pull off “Chapstick Lesbian”. I like Stemme. 😀 Hahaha. Stud and a femme. Heh! *_*
LJ, you insist on calling me Femme. But, I would call myself Chapstick or Futch.
(Okay. Maybe barring a few weekends when my housemate dresses me up like a Barbie doll.)
Chapstick fits you better, doll. 😉
P.S. Coolie, you are such a megalomaniac. No wonder we get along so well!