Recently, a lot was said on Gaysi with regards to the latest podcast (yes – the indecent one!) and I sat quietly observing the motion, like an idiot. Disgust expressed, threats given, apology expected, heartfelt apology given and yet people were lashing out. Some stood for us; some refrained from making any comments while others chose to walk away…
All fair in the game. But how do I move on when I read lines like, “Freedom of speech comes with its limits in public forums”? This raises many more questions: Who decides Gaysi is a public forum? How does freedom and limit make sense together? Isn’t restriction on free thought and free speech the most dangerous of all subversions? Isn’t that what the society has been doing to us all along?
One reader commented “Even if they were one individual’s views and not those of the board/team, the editorial policy needs to challenge this. I request the editors to remove this podcast: it is in utterly poor taste. Unless of course, they have no interest in retaining their south Indian readership.”
The editorial policy on Gaysi has been so liberal in giving everyone a voice, that it’s easy to mistake us for not having a policy at all. Gaysi is an open space where ideas are shared and challenged. Haven’t you heard, “The only sure weapon against bad ideas is better ideas”? Gaysi imposes no limit on the range of discussion, no limits on thought. No subject is taboo in this space.
As part of the Team I can proudly say we have never tried to sanitize Gaysi as we don’t believe in suppression. It believes in the power of words and strongly advocates that all views should be expressed and challenged. Otherwise bad ideas will not be defeated, but will thrive and fester underground! As for the ill-disguised threat, I am pretty sure that our South Indian readership is loyal and forgiving.
What we need is intelligence that can hasten wholesome and natural social evolution. Stereotypes are here to stay. You would be saintly if your mind was absolutely free of any generalizations. Is it then okay to just nest them in your mind, as long as it stays there? Much of the content in popular media may it be movies, TV shows, stand up comedy or even something as common as the mindless drivel of music VJs uses stereotypes may it be to further a plotline or rouse a few laughs. But what determines its acceptability is context.
Are we machines that do not see or perceive context, intention and are ready to feel offended at anything said even in jest? Are we any different from the Shiv Sainiks or Shri Ram Sena who are easily slighted by any subversion from Hindu morality and see themselves as vanguards of Indian culture and political correctness?
In the podcast, there was no divide to begin with, the participation was well balanced. There were two gorgeous women from the South India and one idiot and the other a loud mouth from North. A lot was said about our own experiences and thoughts. These may have been based on what we hear and know as stereotypes. A lot was said on South Indians and North Indians and Mumbai women and Delhi women and NRI’s… Why, you ask? To discover the untruths.
We are a mad group of people with quirks, opinions and fantasies and we share them openly. We are entitled to our viewpoints, personal experiences and ill-fitted generalizations. Challenge us, fight with us but hey, don’t mute our voices. It’s after a long struggle that we have been able to find one such space. Freedom of speech will never be challenged here. There will be no controls and boundaries. We, as a Team also want to assure our contributors that nothing has changed. You’re still welcome to send in all your writing just the way it is. No need for self-doubt or tip toeing around us.
Dear Readers & other fellow Gaysi members,
Gaysi has never tried to bind its members or contributors through agreements or policies. We’ve given free rein to all irrespective of what society imposes on us. So the choice to love or leave is yours to make.
Peace.
I think the post shouldn’t have been published in the first place. This seems to be a set of private, ‘bitchy’ conversations and should’ve been left to privacy.
The comments and opinions have followed as an undoubted result of the online blunder. Enough has been said and discussed. 4 articles and many comments.
Can we not turn a new leaf now? Move on?
Dear Srini, not taking sides here…but Chicklet was very much a part of the Podcast and unfortunately was overseas when things got a little out of hand. But like all of us she still has the right to put-forth her views.
Yes we would like to believe that the Indecent episode is done with, and we have moved forward. And I personally don’t see her post as holding us back, all it does is bring clarity…as to where we would like Gaysi to head. Or what one can expect from it.
She has indeed raised some valid points. It compels us to think and this I say from the Founder’s perspective. So would appreciate it if we all look at it as a Family and nothing less.
Gee, Srini. Wait till you read my post on the bitchy blunder we all committed 😀
I’d wait for some of your quirky south indian moves though QC. like some under-the-madisaar sexcapade or a foodie slurping away 2-idlis and a vada 😛
@ Chicklet : Did you just call me a “Loud Mouth”? My mouth is seriously offended. 😉
Chicklet : Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You do raise some interesting points. As much as I want to move on, I have a question to ask. I ask this because I genuinely need clarification. If there is no limit, no boundaries and everything goes, would it be okay for a Gaysi contributor to write homophobic or transphobic content? Are we going to allow that here?
no Shri. Within the context of this space, there will NEVER be homophobic and transphobic content published because that would harm the very soul of Gaysi.
This post is more of an internal conflict. Join me on the next podcast, and let’s relook at Gaysi and what it stands for.. take a break from your break and join friends for an hour this Sat, will you ?
Chicklet : Thanks for your invite. You are so sweet 🙂 I am moving this weekend, but I will definitely try my best to make it. Please email me the details.
IMO, I feel racial diversity and inclusion is also the soul of Gaysi. I do so because we have a diverse group of contributors and readers.
@ Shri : As Chicklet pointed out “Intention” does play an important role here. What may appear as homophobic/transphobic content in fact could just be one’s attempt at gaining the “corrected” information.
For example, I remember Broom once mentioning this (not sure if was on Gaysi or her personal blog)….that being a Lesbian herself, it would be easier for her to understand/accept her Gay/Lesbian child, but would it be as easy for her to accept if her child decides to live her/his life as a Trans Man or Woman?
Now the above to some could be looked as Transphobic. But the intent isn’t so in-fact it’s a genuine concern many of us be it Queer or non-Queer individuals experience. I for one would definitely like to address such concerns on Gaysi.
And here’s another example;
Couple of nights ago I was watching an episode of the current season of BiggBoss starring Laxmi Tripathi with my 11 yr old nephew.
In this particular episode Laxmi gets into an argument with a couple of other housemates. As an impulse reaction or perhaps anger, she starts talking loud and aggressive followed by loud claps (an action commonly associated with the hijra community in India).
Watching the above events unfold frightened my nephew. He almost had his hands on his ears, and eyes shut. And all he said was “What is she doing?”. Honestly it took me good few minutes to react to him.
Now I could have just asked him to “ignore” what he saw…but I chose confront his fear. Gave him a little feedback on Laxmi’s background. And so on and so forth.
Again, my nephew’s reaction could be termed as Transphobic but in reality they weren’t. He just reacted to the unknown, and I am hoping my words took him 10 blocks away from being a Transphobic. 🙂
@MJ: I agree to that “intention” plays a role. The speculation Broom had or the apprehension your nephew had are certainly due to lack of information.
Is it true for the racial references made in the podcast? Is it due to lack of information? Was the intent to gather more information or just to have a good time?
I am not denying the possibility that the comments could have been made with the intent to clear misconceptions, but it didn’t come across that way. It was about jokes, laughter, poking fun at someone. I hope you can see it from a listener/reader’s perspective.
If you say so, I take your word for it. Because I trust you 🙂
I’m sorry.. but if I were to write an article about my first interaction with Hijras, I would post a slightly offensive, rather un-biased view of what they came across as.
I’ve had a couple of my gay friends feeling weird towards lesbians, or straight male-friends feeling super excited talking to lesbians, or just describing the thought of how it would be to interact with a couple of them, or be in a party amidst them – I somehow think that factual accounts or fictitious essays on homo-/transphobia cannot be thrown out of here.
A gay man’s first time at anal sex is not always pleasure, as a small example. It can be quite disgusting. Yet there are accounts of how this transformed later into an ecstatic experience for many. If I would write that, it shouldn’t be quoted as phobia, or ‘ewwwness’ by my fellow lesbian friends. Some of them just like it up the arse.
What we need to clearly segregate is fiction, as in writing and what can clearly be published as podcasts/videos or live-recordings. Fiction can be limitless, sometimes scary, yet revealing, enlightening. Live-media ends up being ‘in-your-face’ and hence needs edits, or just the required cuts before presentation.
This debate can probably go on. Like the debate on open-journalism and agenda-based journalism. Fact is, Gaysi has an agenda, yet is an open space for expression. We’d only need to figure where the thin line in between is.
@ Shri : Agreed. It was about joking, laughter, poking fun..but not at someone but ourselves. 🙂 And trust I do too in you. Now get back to building those 8 packs, will ya?! 😉
@ Srini : Yes. And we can figure that line out as we grow. Don’t think anyone is in a hurry here. 🙂
great. now let’s end the defense and start hunting. for ideas. and words
Chicklet! Baby! Thanks for writing this gutsy piece – it echoes a lot of what I think about recent Gaysi shenanigans and I’m glad you shared your thoughts out here – where its meant to be heard, read and acknowledged.
🙂 am not sure how I will react to MJ, now I now that she thinks of me as hippa! Last nine years in India, people have consistently told me I am south Indian and I like that as I think they (including me) are so damn gorgeous and sexy…
Gorgeous….for your hippas I am ready to give up my “Katrina Kaif” obsession! 😉
Hey Chicklet….. thank you for this piece. I as a complete by stander of the incident and comments would just like to emphasize on one thing…. that Gaysi is the space we have to share everything and anything OPENLY and that space we don’t find very easily especially in India/Delhi…
And this platform provides a lot of the readers because of its free speech/thoughts the ability and strength to believe in what they are and not disguise it. And in the same breath if it unintentionally once in a blue moon offends someone we should definitely not try and block it….someone was offended and they let everyone know and also got an apology. That should be the end of it if overlooking it is not possible because this is a platform where all of us are entitled to speak freely…
so my friends, as a complete outsider to this conversation/incident please do ignore the lack of insight I might have, but please let this go…. 🙂
take care all, I am definitely glad to have access to this space and be a part of it. Gaysi team, you guys do a great job and I hope it only gets stronger with time.