Just like regular decent people, homophobes come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes they’re hard to spot, because they’re masquerading as tolerant. But fear not, dear readers…because my homophobe-spotter is just as sharp as my ‘gaydar’. You will soon be able to spot these types from a mile away and avoid the frustration of enduring an ignorant conversation.
There are a couple of types that specifically piss me off.
(*Jahil = Illiterate)
1) The complete ‘Jahil’*: This kind of person is the worst by far, doesn’t know jack about anything and will usually quote something religious, with no logic or reason to back their hatred of homosexuality. Don’t bother arguing or trying to explain anything to them, because they usually have the intellect of a squirrel, with really thick skulls that are virtually impenetrable. Sadly, some of them are totally and hypocritically gay themselves.
When writing about these freaks I’m reminded of a news report I saw in Karachi approximately 5 yrs ago. It was about a (bearded) Muslim man who confessed to the imam of his mosque that he was acting out on his homosexual desires, the imam told him that, it was a sin and to absolve himself he should sacrifice something that was dear to him. How this scrotumface translated the imam’s words was ghastly beyond words. He thought the only way his gayness would be ‘cured’ and forgiven was if he chopped the heads off all three of his sleeping children. And so that’s what this asshole did. I don’t know what became of him. But for fuck’s sake, it’s idiots like these that give Islam a bad name. And, what a dickwad imam too. None of this would happen if our people were more educated.
2) The ‘Educated’ Jahil: A living, breathing oxymoron. They’re hard to spot really; they live amongst us, they’re doctors, teachers, lawyers etc. And you can’t tell at first because they’re seemingly educated, well-traveled and well-rounded. But then one day, you’re having a conversation and they say something like, “OMG! There’s a gay guy at my work… It’s so disgusting, it’s just not natural!”
And be warned, that’ll completely catch you off guard. But remain calm – because getting your panties in a bunch and arguing with these types is pretty pointless. Their educated side has usually been glazed over with a thick coat of blind faith. And I have no problem with people of religion, as long as their critical thinking skills and logic remain intact.
3) The Pseudo-liberal Ignoramus: These sorts like to pretend they’re ok with everything when they’re really not. They’ll usually say things that’ll clue you in to their particular condition, such as “Oh I’m fine with gay people as long as they don’t try to hit on me.”
What the fuck does that mean? Really, you think you’re THAT attractive that you’ll tempt every single gay person that you cross paths with? It’s just as ludicrous as a straight person assuming that everyone of the opposite sex wants to sleep with them (ugh and those exist too).
Here’s another give away. You may hear them say, “I’m fine with gay people as long as they don’t touch each other in front of me…” So it’s ok for you to suck your ugly partner’s face in front of everyone but gay people need to keep it in the bedroom? That’s bullshit.
4) The Double-Standard Douche: Sadly, this type is almost always male. He will make it clear that he’s not ok with male homosexuality, but will make it a point to emphasise that he’s (more than) fine with lesbians. This is followed with a slimy comment on how he’d like to ‘do it’ with a lesbian. Sorry dumbass! A lesbian’s not likely to do it with you….ESPECIALLY you!
I’m not trying to say that any guy with a lesbian fantasy is a dick; just the ones that are homophobes at the same time. Cuz yeah, let’s face it, most guys love the idea of two ladies getting it on. And if you aren’t a homo-hater, there ain’t nothing wrong with visualizing two lovely ladies. But if you hate homosexuality, then stick with it asshole. Be consistent; don’t drop the hate when it’s convenient.
So, there ya have it folks, those are the main types I’ve been able to identify. Feel free to let me know if you’ve spotted any other varieties. If you really want to be sure you aren’t catching a case of homophobe cooties, then print out the following picture (I took it at the Parade, you’re welcome!) Keep it in your wallet. If ever in doubt, pull it out and all possible homophobes will clear the room!
****
I kid, I kid. That picture could send a lot of perfectly nice people screaming if they aren’t expecting it. So don’t subject unsuspecting passersby to it. However, if you really want to, you can link em to the blog. And for those of you whose eyes are burning from the previous visual, I’ll post a picture that turned up on my camera after my husband was holding it for a while.
***
Ah Pride….something for everyone… really.
OMG……you got it just right!..met all of the above and some!!
:-////
You should meet Nice Mangoes aka Eiynah if you’re in Canada though!
Everybody has an identity (african americans, pakis, gays and lesbians, horny straight men, marathi manus, haryavanvi jat) but when you overcompensate thats (with the stereotyping above) when it sounds in the face and stupid.
Homosexuality is a new concept in the public domain, so it’s Natural for people to take time to accept it. Regardless of level education, it’s exposure to homosexuals that changes the outlook.
Otherwise it’s like you debating that if universe is all energy or particle.
People are scared of new stuff, so it’s natural for them to be wary if a homosexual asks them out.
(Straight) Men are trained in a way to find the lesbian sex horny makes our testosterone (spell check if u love the details) go Carumbaaa!!.
Or else google Lesbian on Google Image. Portia Di Rossi Oh lalala
In case of gays, not many men I know like to see stache to stache kiss….for that we can go back to my hostel day women. So it’s natural for them too, to say bhaiyya don’t make out in front of me.
And its totally unnatural of you to assume everyone of them is a homo-hater.
Looks like you’re new to the concept of Homosexuality – or even the stache-to-stache kiss, as you term it. It has always been around you, maybe even in you.
I wonder what makes you say that Straight men are ‘trained in a way’ to find Lesbians turning on. Training? Like a Six-Sigma course?
This is only a generic post by a fellow blogger, who happens to be a straight woman herself. And she seems to have spotted you too.
Dear Srini,
a – this not a generic topic
b – yes it’s s six sigma training they take you to amazing shiny looking rooms fortunately for you you missed it. But if you need it I can send you a collector’s T Shirt
“stache-to-stache kiss, as you term it. It has always been around you, maybe even in you”
c – Is that your only defense “you don’t poke us if yo do then you also one of us”….waah janaab waah!
d – LGBT movement is not old than a century old which is why the reason you need to raise awareness. Theory of evolution isn older and people are still debating it
Yo!!!!!
The thread is dead but here are a few pointers
1. Why on gods green earth are you trolling a gay site if you have a problem with community.
2. Lesbians good homos bad ….GRUNK…are you truly retarded??????
You just stated that being gay is a new concept and people are not accepting of it yet but they seem to be selectively fine with women? Obviously you are a male and you find men at it gross but quite a few women love guys going at it……
lemme guess… you really haven’t gotten laid in a few years now….. how is your left hand doing after you’re done reading these articles….
our defense here is ….who i fuck is none of your business just as its none of my business to ask you if you spit or use lubricant. As the writer put it… gay people have standards…rest assured….you are NOT IT. Definitely not with your backward mindset
@gandharvgrover….my only question to you is….what on earth were u doing on this site in the first place? tut…tut…looks like someone’s been caught red handed.
also, clearly you need a better education in history…because homosexuality can be traced back to the earliest documented times…in fact there are periods in ancient history when it was considered strange if a male ruler only liked women…
you have proven my point as you yourself need a better education about homosexuality…oh – and when you’ve learned more…you can come talk to me 🙂
Oh kakaji…..what do you got between your ears …..??? Fur and straw?
There is a difference between homosexuality and the movement. It’s like Africa was there 8,000 BC and black right movement is that old.
One piece of advice don’t do any business you are bound to lose money by the loads.
LGBT movement started in 1910s when people started talking about it. How I landed at your site….a friend posted something about it. And since it’s supposed to be a public forum talk about people and their rights am supposed to read it. After all the website’s supposed to be an open forum
@ Supermad : Oh wow now it’s hate someone talks sense and it’s hate. And the article you guys have written is about peace and no discrimintation.
Yeah no talk of hate just do it in your own private place.
“oh the whole world hates us…we are so misunderstood” – Continue this jingo
Hi Gandharv,
Thanks for visiting Gaysifamily and for your comments. Since I’m feeling particularly benevolent and patient today, I am about to cut you some slack and give you the benefit of doubt. This means, I am forced to assume, that you do indeed want to “change your outlook” about homosexuals. I am about to educate you, so pay attention:
1) Critiquing ignorance is not overcompensating. In the interest of debate, I welcome you to point out to me, which aspect of Nice Mangos article made you conclude so.
2) No matter how you dress this up, the straight man’s selective love (and preference even) for lesbian women while being repulsed by homosexual men, is a form of homophobia. Say it with me. “They are HOMOPHOBES”. This is further evidenced by “Bhaiyya, don’t make out in front of me. But behenjis do carry on”. You’re either opposed to PDA or you’re not. There is no, “I am okay if women do it but-“. If you can’t handle it, look away.
3) I will ignore your unkind remarks about women who don’t conform to the universally accepted definitions of beauty and choose to not depilate. I’ll let the women in your household handle that part of your education.
4) Contrary to what you may think, LGBT movement (as you call it) is several centuries old. Please feel free to peruse http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_LGBT_history
So there you have it. Do come back to us if you have more questions. I am interested in having a civil debate which will be educational for all involved. The moment it dissolves into name calling and personal attacks, it stops being useful for any of us.
Folks, stop feeding the troll!
wtf is stache to stache kiss???? 😉 *rolls eys* LOLLLLLLL
Gay Gandharv – you do need to get laid (by a boy – might I add!)…
The vast majority of homophobes are so, because they fear their OWN same sex attraction – so they spend their lives on forums like this droning out ill informed / homophobic statements…
yes Gandharv – ppl like u bash the gays since ur too chicken, too fearlful and too much of a pansy to do something about what u spend our time daydreaming about! All the best……..LOL
(sorry broom – couldnot resist!)
https://twitter.com/#!/zENAWordWarrior