I’ve a secret to tell. And it’s bad.
One of those “If-you-tell-anyone-else-I’ll-have-to-kill-you” ones. Er, not exactly, but you get the gist, don’t you?
We’ve all done it- In a moment of desperation, after a particularly poignant break up, or on one of those bad hair days. It creeps up on you, unexpectedly, and before you know it, you are at it, like a mad rabbit caught in frenzy, scrambling to your laptop, and going to the place of no return.
Planet Romeo. The bane of homosexual existence, but such a necessary evil- It’s like a double edged sword, that. The standard gay dating site, they label it. Some call it a simmering sex pot (at least I do), some call it a social networking tool. We all know which category I fall under. (Hint: I already called it.)
Don’t get me wrong; I found a handful of interesting friends there, but it’s like finding a needle in a haystack. For every one interesting person you connect with (for lack of a better word), you have to sieve through a hundred hopefuls, all with ‘a place’, or worse, a bed. I this really what being gay is all about- truckloads of mindless sex, with every Tom, Dick and Harry?
I don’t think so. At least not in all its entirety.
Sue me for being a hypocrite, but I’ve enjoyed my fair share of narcissism through the site. Who amongst us doesn’t know the thrill of logging in and seeing a dozen unread messages? Which of us has not done the happy dance when that particularly cute boy you’ve got your eyes on pings back? (I haven’t if you haven’t.) Two weeks into Romeo, I was hooked, like a teenager- eyes glazed over with internet porn. It seemed wrong, but yet so perfect. It was everything I could ever want, all in the confines of my computer, or better still- my smart phone. And then the cracks began to appear. The messages piled up, overflowing and scary. And the repulsion sunk in. Was this what life would be? Playing connect the dots with a string of strangers? Wasn’t this one step away from going to the local bathhouse, or sneakily creeping about the back alley streetlight? Safe sex and common sense aside, was I one step closer to being the post-rehab Britney Spears?
I logged out, head hung in shame; and swore never to go back.
I went back in three days. Hungry like a wolf, Like the Duran Duran song.
Over the next couple of years, I tethered in and out, deactivating every few weeks in a hissy fit, having had one of those “ I-am-better-than-this” moments; only to go back, weak and wallowing, staring wide-eyed at all the newer profiles, with greedy eyes and a lustful heart. It was a vicious cycle, like a hamster ring with no end.
I had a friend who has a couple of profiles there. “For variety,” he said with a huff and a puff, when I asked him why. He’s no big bad wolf, at least not the only one. “It’s just a given, this behaviour- it’s almost expected out of us,” said he, and I struggled to find a counter argument.
It should be, especially with all the anticipated momentary joy and unattached affection, but yet, this emptiness persists – People come, and people go. We mistake lust for love, and love for lust- perhaps this is as good as it gets?
No; definitely not. We don’t need to give love a bad name and if a road to retribution is necessary, then so be it.
For all of you who think this is a lost case, is there any solution?
Well, only one- this Romeo should die, fully and finally.
That’s the only way to get your Romeo and Juliet, without the dramatic sad ending, that is. Think about it, because I certainly will.
Hahaha.. This is so true. Its like you’ve written everything that goes on in my head! (I identify with the same category as you do). So far I have only had two proper relationships (lets not go into what improper relationships are, not saying I’ve had them). And both of them were embarked outside of romeo’s clutches.
I feel for you, fellow gay boy, I feel for you. 🙂
Romeo lives in Bharat
Far away from the hustle of the metros, its admiration for Britney Spears and Duran Duran songs, lies a world called Bhaarat. Picturesque in its unique way, Bhaarat has seen a revolution in the form of internet. By the way, there are gay men in Bhaarat too.
They idolized Manisha Koirala as children. They find John Abraham hot – especially after the butt peekaboo in Dostana; they consider Virat Kohli or a certain goodlooking politician their ideal ‘husband’. They have the hots for their brother’s friend who plays football (shirtless) in the muddy ground next to the post office.
These gay men from Bhaarat recently found out about this website called Planetromeo and it totally changed their life. Many of them are positive that they would find partners/lovers in life through Planetromeo. They don’t like the word ‘boyfriends’ – it looks too shallow to them. It is through planetromeo that they have got to know of support groups in the big cities. They are eager to attend one such gay meeting to see what exactly happens there. Oh and ya, they also get to meet guys for sex on the side – but then, Planetromeo is so much safer than hitting on that hot straight friend, no?
Gay men from Bhaarat totally, totally love this website for it has brought a sea change in the way they look at themselves. With little or no community support available for gay men in their respective cities, social networking websites like Planetromeo have helped these gay people from Bharat (who are almost completely in the closet) explore and discover their alternate sexual orientations.
Gay men from Bharat love Planetromeo. They cannot call it a ‘bane of their homosexual existence’. To them, their romeo identity *is* their homosexual existence.
Aditya Jay!
The entire point of the article is in jest! I found a lot of interesting friends on Planet Romeo myself, and without them I wouldn’t have been who I am today! 🙂
all in all, love it or or hate it, you can’t live without it! 🙂
but where else can u find some1 i mean in our society in which most of the gays are closeted and wont admit it in public where can else can you find some
That’s true, but we all need to find a solution for that! sooner or later, we will strike gold. till then, sigh, there’s always some good ol’ fashioned Planet Romeo!
I think, not just ‘planetromeo (pr)’ but any gay dating site can be a boon/bane, depending upon how one makes use of it. If one remains logged into ‘pr’ and glued to the computer 24×7 and then gets nothing out of it…..it can’t be the site’s failure.
In many countries where homosexuality is not as open and liberal as in US/UK, PR is the only platform for queer people to interact safely without needing to disclose their personal identity.
I feel, currently, planetromeo has a positive role to play in the lives of many people and for them it is surely a boon.