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What is an orgasm? How does it begin? Where does it end? How does one get there? Is it just chemical? What explains the euphoria? And can I have more than one? Admit it, you have asked yourself these questions a lot, especially after a deeply satisfying sexual encounter. In fact, it is a testament to your deep satisfaction. But why is it that you sometimes have an orgasm and don’t at other times? What prevents you from feeling pleasure?
Sometimes it is an inexperienced or a bad lover. But mostly it is our own inability to surrender to our desires. We get so caught up in ‘doing it right’, that we forget to have fun! We forget how much the first gaze counts. I mean unless your eyes say, “come hither” the party doesn’t get started, does it? An orgasm begins the moment you accept that you want somebody. It begins when you start listening to your body! You feel your pulse quicken. You feel your blood race through your arteries as all your senses start operating at a level that makes you feel more alive than ever. And that’s just the beginning.
You drown out everything else but your potential mate. You take in that one special person with all your senses. You taste with your eyes, you touch with your breath, you see most when you listen… and this is the hardest part because if that little pre-sex small talk goes south, you are never getting laid! Here’s a little tip. Listen more, talk less. Make the conversation about the other person and use the opportunity to ascertain what they desire. This information will come in handy once you get them into your pleasure chamber (because calling it a bedroom sounds so dull!)
Right! So, what are you feeling right now? Nervous anticipation, performance anxiety, are your palms suddenly sweaty, is your throat dry, are you feeling bogged down by body image issues. It’s OK. It happens to the best of us. Foreplay is tricky and can be a cause of much anxiety. This is where you need to get creative and you can if you use your imagination and turn the carnal conquest into a relaxing yet exciting sport. Fun and games can take you a long way. Try role-play. Naughty nurse, sexy secretary, the bitch-slapping boss or the sexy jailor… take your pick. And give toys a chance. Whips don’t lie and you have no idea how far a blindfold and a pair of handcuffs can go in delaying climax (Because nobody likes a premature ejaculator)! If you aren’t the fifty shades type, try to discover the power of a feather.
Erotic accessories aren’t just for casual encounters and flings. Apart from helping you enjoy sex by taking away the shame and guilt one tends to associate with carnal pleasure, sex toys can also bring back magic in a long term committed relationship. Sometimes, you tend to take your partner for granted and stop experimenting in bed. You stop giving because you have already ‘won’ the object of your affection. This is when both you and your partner turn into drones and sex becomes mechanical. But if you are open to trying something new, perhaps you can give couple toys a shot. These are designed to be used in such a way that they enhance pleasure for both partners. They help prolong the sensations you crave the most.
This is when you feel every line, every curve of your partner’s body. You feel their breath on your skin, and you smell them as you breathe in. You devour them and in turn get consumed by them. Every thread in the sheets talks to you and you become aware of your entire being physical, sexual and even a little spiritual. Sex is a celebration of your existence and an orgasm is the toast you and your partner raise to yourselves. It is at this point that the anatomy of an orgasm is complete.