When was the last time you actually completed a resolution? A while ago, I decided to not keep any, except for one — to try and make my life happier and more exciting, which, I think, should be a general rule of life. I still think that the idea of a New Year making one a new person is a little far-fetched. But again, pushing ourselves to improve is not the worst thing one could do.
So this year, what if we set aside the clichés and came up with some fun resolutions, ones that you might actually see through? Wouldn’t it be great to finally say that you actually kept some of your resolutions? See how many of these you can check off your list this coming year:
Cut out the douchebags.
This seems like a fairly obvious change you should be making in your life, new year or not. For instance, lately, I have been trying hard to cultivate a more positive outlook on life, and in the process realised that the people you hang out with makes a lot of difference. So cut out the negativity and surround yourself with people who make you see how great you are, and motivate you to push yourself! Sometimes you just need that extra nudge in the right direction.
I love receiving mail, and think everyone should send more letters to people they love. So, travel, buy postcards and send them to the loved ones in your life!
Write yourself a letter once a month.
If everyone loved themselves and believed in themselves a little more, wouldn’t the world be a much happier place? So, while you’re spreading love and kindness, make sure to send some your way! Every month, sit down, and write a letter—a long, sappy love letter. And then mail it to yourself, so you have to physically open it and read it again. Maybe get some cookies, and wine, play some music and make a day out of it. Learn to love yourself!
Things got too kinky too soon? Living in the post-sexual revolution world, the mention of using sex toys wouldn’t get people fidgeting – but, lol, who are we kidding? While we wait for the rest of the country to catch up, go out there (or reach in!) and have a little party of your own. There is a wide range of sex toys out there. Do a little research, find out what works best for you, experiment and have a whole lot of fun!
Stop hooking up with your ex.
Seriously, STOP! You don’t need your ex in your life (unless, of course if you decided to stay friends, but who are we really kidding?). So come on, stop drunk dialing your ex, and go ahead and make #4 happen, so that you wouldn’t need that ex of yours.
Continue the good fight.
Let’s hope that 2018 turns out to be the year that progressive laws are made and outdated notions are pushed out of the country. But while we’re hoping and praying, let’s also think about what else we can do to show our support and make lasting, tangible change – even if it is in the life of just one person. As woke as we try to be, we often have our run-ins with ableist, racist, sexist, classist, xenophobic and homophobic ideals – let’s begin to argue against our problematic relatives, intrusive ‘friends’, insensitive colleagues. Also, let’s educate ourselves. Watch Franchesca Ramsey’s vlog about being a better ally or read Pharaoh Katt’s piece for currently non-disabled folks on being an ally for disabled folks. Reach out to activists and organisations for more resources. Ask questions, and then go out and educate others. Let’s be the change we want to see.
Embrace the stage.
Think of this as a sort of rite of passage. There is something incredibly empowering about getting onstage, in front of a room full of strangers and letting your heart lay bare. Sure, stage-fright can be a buzzkill but two shots of tequila might help with that. Go for an open night and just let it out—sing a song, read out your poetry, joke around or whatever floats your boat! Let vulnerability wash over you so you can emerge a confident and happier person. And, of course, it is a great way to meet new people!
Be part of a play.
Creating something from scratch is definitely one of the most satisfying and exhilarating experiences in the world. If you aren’t comfortable performing onstage, maybe you can help out backstage. There is a lot that goes into putting up a show, and most groups are always looking out for an extra set of hands. You could contact theatres close to you, or reach out to a troupe and see if they are looking for help. Or else, rally around some friends and put up a play of your own!
Do that one visibly queer thing you’ve been hesitating about.
Most people have at least one of these. It might be something as simple as holding your loved ones hand in public, or getting a fauxhawk. Of course, if you feel hesitant because it might be something that will put you in danger, don’t. Your health and well-being come first. But if you’re just nervous that you won’t be able to pull off a certain style, or that person you have been dying to ask out might reject your advances, what the hell, go for it anyway. It is okay to put yourself out there and believe that no matter what anyone might way. Remember that you are made of stardust and that alone makes you pretty darn spectacular, you know?
Master three foolproof jokes.
Ever been to a Pride after-party and felt at a loss for words? I have realised that keeping a few jokes ready to roll off your tongue (especially if you happen to be a socially awkward person like yours truly) can do wonders. There is no better ice breaker than a good joke, but then, it would also be weird to just drop one and stand there, so three seems like a good number. Of course, remember, a joke is only good if you drop it at the right time and place. So relax, have a drink, and head towards that fun-looking group.
Of course, these are suggestions, and ultimately, you should see what works best for you. You too could take up my no-resolutions policy, but it is always great to surround yourself with nicer people, and try new things. Have a wonderful year!