I have always thought that just like it is not easy to fall in love, it is neither easy to fall out of it. But, that fateful day, I realized that it is all a lie, as I saw people parting ways. It just requires one moment, one word, one thought, and relationship shatters like a house of glass. The life we lead is not easy as it is, but it is also filled with loneliness of all kinds. We spend our youth sleeping with strangers on a bed, and when we get older, we realize that our bed doesn’t have anything else than the smell and warmth of our own bodies.
Today relationships mean two minutes of phone calls, chats on WhatsApp and Facebook throughout the day, and meeting at a coffee shop once in a while to click pictures for Instagram. People don’t talk anymore. Nobody writes letters to each other, nobody sits on the banks of rivers to spend hours talking about nothing. When life is merged into a device, can one look at the emotions of the person beside? I still think, only if I had touched him when we were together, only if I had held his hands and told him “I love you”, only if I had looked into his eyes and tried to talk to him instead of spending hours on the bed. Would he have been with me till today?
The time to think about all this has gone away. He is no more with me, but I still carry the smell of his body on mine. I don’t know whether he is alone today, or has someone made him theirs, but I still regret the fact that I couldn’t make him mine. I feel immense sorrow that he will never be mine. I was not able to fall in love, but I made people fall out of love throughout my life, and I have to live with that regret. Actually, the thing is that I was never satisfied with anything in life, the more I received, the more I demanded. And in this humdrum of receiving and demanding, I somewhere lost myself without realizing it. It is so difficult to understand human emotions. We only remember things which comfort us, never the things which disturb. We remember the warmth of each other’s skin, sleeping together on that quaint bed or just looking at each other. But never the fights, the cries, the anger. Actually, things are not as complicated as we make it to be.”
Photography, Art Direction, and Words: Raqeeb (@daintystrangerphotos)