Photo Essay: Night Flight With Singed Wings

I decided to get it all together, experiment and feel accepted by my own body in the form of Self Portraits.

It goes a long back, some four years. All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. It took me a long while and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: That I am nobody but myself.

I realized; it is during the times I am far outside my element that I experience myself the most. I always had this thing in me to experiment with myself and embrace the femininity inside me. That I see and feel who I am, the most! I think this is what a comet is like, you see, a comet is born in the outer realms of the universe! But it’s only when it ventures too close to our sun or other stars that it releases the blazing “tail” behind it and shoots brazen through the heavens! And meteors become sucked into our atmosphere before they burst like firecrackers and realize that they are shooting stars! That is why I enjoy taking myself out of my element, my comfort zone, and hurling myself out into the unknown. Because it’s during those scary moments, those unsure steps taken, that I can see that I’m like a comet hitting a new atmosphere: suddenly I illuminate magnificently and fire specks of dust begin to fall off of me! I discover a smile I did not know I had, I uncover a feeling that I did not know existed in me…I see myself. I am a shooting star. A meteor shower. But I am not going to die out. I guess I am more like a comet then. I’m just going to keep on coming back.

So, I decided to get it all together, experiment and feel accepted by my own body in the form of Self Portraits. 

I had never felt this good and free. I am so glad that I did it and rediscovered my inner-being.

For more photographs, visit Tushar’s Instagram.

About the guest author

Tushar Choudhary

Tushar Choudhary was born in New Delhi, India and identifies as bigender and a part of LGBTQ+ community.
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