No Place For Queer Indian Women

She looked at me with such sad eyes (Pretty pretty eyes btw) and told me this anecdote of an ex-girlfriend who has been able to build up a completely new identity and life after cutting off ties with her bigoted parents! Because you know, IT GETS BETTER.

8 Jan 2017

12:45 AM

 Hello, awake?

12:53 AM

                                                                                                      Wake up, wake up, wake up

Fuck it, I will just type out the stuff here, reply when you read.

So

It’s true. I just cannot be queer here. 

I told you about the woman I had been chatting with on Hinge, right? So yeah, we met the day before.

She came over today WITH WINE AND CHOCOLATES! I am still in two minds about that!

We were Netflix-ing (Guernsey), but before we could get to the chill-ing part, Ahana came up with one of her new made-up crises (will tell you when we meet) and I had to go to the kitchen for some time to address that.

When I got back, she was standing next to my bookshelf, with my Kahlil Gibran collection in hand. The first page had sweet-nothings from Sanket (remember he gifted it on my last birthday?)

She asked if I was into men. And I think I gave the wrong answer.

The rest of the evening was SO AWKWARD!

At one point, she asked me how or if I told my parents.

When I told her I did not plan to till I had to, she was livid.

I told her I did not want my parents to think it was my choice. 

I got an earful from her on my supposed straight-ness. I could have fought, but you know how non-confrontational I am. 

I just resumed playing Guernsey, and she left in a bit!

Life! 

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10 March 2019

10:20 AM

So apparently, you can create a Tinder profile, be selective to match with and then chat with multiple women, and go on a brilliant date – ALL IN THE SAME DAY here. 

Telling you this from experience 

                                                                                    If I knew this before, I would probably not 

                                                                                                  have waited so long to move to the US! 

Come over, man! This aspect is really blissful. 

Nah, as I told you before, 

I am fine here 

                                                                                   And as I told you before, “YOUR LOSS!”         

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18 March 2019

10:13 PM

                                                                                    You are a wise, wise woman.

                                                                                    Supposed woman-of-my-dreams today 

                                                                                                  asked me my coming out story.

                                                                                    Looks like I am ineligible for the dating 

                                                                                                  scene here if I do not have a heroic 

                                                                                                  one.

I told her I have just not found the strength in myself to launch this campaign to educate my parents on queerness.

She looked at me with such sad eyes (Pretty pretty eyes btw) and told me this anecdote of an ex-girlfriend who has been able to build up a completely new identity and life after cutting off ties with her bigoted parents! Because you know, IT GETS BETTER.

How do I explain to them the difference between bigoted parents and culturally unaware parents? My parents asked me a few days after my 30th birthday if my boyfriend was Muslim, and that they would not mind! Because that’s the worst thing that could happen in their imagination.

Deviant*, not worst. Sorry!  

How do I explain that they are not bigots but people who have never seen or heard in close circles about an openly queer person, and that I am trying to buy some time till someone else does come out. (My bets are still on Shalini aunty, btw.) 

Anyway meanwhile, my new flatmate just found out I am also into men, and is hell-bent on introducing me to one of her friends. Ye bhi dekh leten hain.

About the author

Ananya Chakraborty

Public sector consultant by day, writer-cum-activist by night.