Archive for authorAnurag

Anurag is a queer, feminist, social worker-to-be. Currently residing in the cornfields of Illinois.  Fierce, emotional and reclaiming the brown-ness. 

I’ve Been In A Lesbian Relationship!

I was trying to figure out why it has been so stressful trying to explain my break-up situation to my straight friends, and then I saw this video and it occurred to me that it is simple – I’ve been in a lesbian relationship! Seriously, I could take you step-by-step through that video and give you examples from my relationship.

Through The Vines

Starting off as empty branches

We are eager to smell sweet flowers.

So exciting, so treasured, so unique

They continually draw us apart from each other.

We refuse to hold …

The Difficult Daughter

“I remember how being young and black and gay and lonely felt. A lot of it was fine, feeling I had the truth and the light and the key, but a lot of it was purely hell.” This quote made me giggle a little, even though I don’t think it was supposed to be funny, just because I can understand the sentiment - from my own perspective, at least.

Trans* Love Week

This is a really great event going on next week that I heard about through the Legalize Trans campaign!

A Call To Straight Desis

While our rates of suicide, homelessness, depression, alcoholism, drug abuse, and assault are high we need straight desis to be aware and there for us. We need them to have it on their radar and to be speaking up for us. We need them to be brave too because we won’t always be strong enough.

The Nu(Q)ear Family

I find it funny how the conservative desis in my community look down on those that get pregnant by accident, get married too young, or elope. It was especially entertaining keeping my partner's "illegitimate child" a secret for three years for the sake of these desis. These conservative desis also look down on us gaysis, but on the other hand, we often don’t have the option of having children “by accident” or getting married “on a whim”.

Queer Ears Can Listen

Recently my closest friend that I ever had and lost told me “sorry,” the apology I was waiting for but got after I stopped expecting it. She realized she needed to talk to me more but I realized I needed to listen more. I want to be that go-to friend. I want to stay up all night listening, not talking.

Dirty Desi, Grungie Gaysi

Nervously, I rubbed the baking soda and water mixture into my scalp and rinsed it out with diluted lemon juice. I was surprised that the kitchen supplies actually cleaned my hair. After getting dressed I rinsed my face with the rose and honey face wash I had made the night before. I was so proud of myself, but very amused by the whole routine.

When Unconscious

How do you know

What is really happening

When you’re unconscious?

How do you trust,

Really trust, those around you?

If you are left pregnant

And you hadn’t had sex,…

New York On My Mind

I visited New Jersey last year to visit some family friends and we took a daytrip to Manhattan. I wasn’t paying attention to the scenery, but when I was paying attention I wasn’t really that impressed. New Jersey was boring and Manhattan was claustrophobic. I was never the type of person who had the big dreams of moving to either coast, and I (unfairly) looked down at those people in High School that did because they rarely moved to those places in the end.

Epiphany #2

I had another epiphany,

At about 11pm.

I was thinking on break ups,

On their entire need to exist.

For binds that aren’t

In a toxic state,

I was amazed …

Epiphany

I had an epiphany at 4am

While I was thinking about that special soul

Wondering what she would tell me to do

Imagining her response – To my dilemma

~…

Self-Hate : Part 2

As I have been juggling 5 different medications for my epilepsy I have been lifeless, friendless, and loveless. As I have stopped eating I have lost weight and I have been secretly excited about it. Who is this that is excited about being skinny again? I thought I was that fat-positive queer, feminist. Where has she gone?

Sex Ain’t Like The Movies!

I have read a bit of Sister Toldja’s rad sex column and sex advice but she mostly just compares black women’s sex lives to white women’s, and obviously that racial binary is not all-encompassing. So, as QC has mentioned before, us desis can get a little hush-hush when it comes to mas-tur-bay-shun. And I can personally attest to this because this lack of open-communication about sex within the desi community has definitely affected my sex life, especially with my experience with a woman. Plus, I didn’t have my first orgasm until I was 19, and maybe that is not shocking but my white friends definitely thought it was!

Movie Review: Bijli

Bijli is about a person who passes as "Fayaaz", a man, during the day, and dances as "Bijli" in drag, to Bollywood songs at night. Fayaaz has fond memories of his deceased parents, but has a bittersweet relationship with his faith, and the Mosque.

A Lovely Mummy

I have noticed that straight desi girls and ladies, sometimes the ones who haven’t been through trials, often have weak relationships with their mothers or “just-for-show” relationships with their mothers. These friends often seem jealous of the fact that I am close to my mother. What they do not realize is that it took my mother a long time to come to understand me, her youngest daughter. It was a rickety journey after which she became my lovely little mummy.

Caring About The Queer Stuff

I have had some friends tell me that this queer stuff isn’t so important to them, and with some friends it’s when they don’t tell me anything about queer issues and that’s how I know it isn’t important to them. Well, in general, some say that one should focus on their own thing because no one will do anyone else’s dirty work for them. I guess that’s a big gulp to gulp for me because I’m a social work student and I take great pride and joy in wanting to help people and help myself.

Happy Holidays?

It’s the holiday season and that can bring up all kinds of depressing, I mean cheerful feelings, right? Exactly. Holiday season can be complicated for us. During Halloween weekend, at a gay bar I let out a loud “noooooo!” when I saw three white men, all at the same time, in the following costumes: a Native American man with a headdress, a blue avatar, and Antoine Dodson the Bed Intruder Hero. Thank goodness I didn’t see any blackface!

Queer Desis With Class

My parents have had to pay to put three children through University (in different countries) as well as pay for the expenses that go with me having an increasingly severe disability. And obviously we sometimes like to celebrate our new, more comfortable lifestyle by going on vacations, but it is not always as indulgent since we are not accustomed to doing vacations. We have to be so much more careful, and this always reminds me of how I need to prepare myself for my inevitably poor future.

Self-Care For A Queer Desi

Being our radical queer desi selves can be exhausting, and it’s always a positive thing to be intentionally taking care of our selves and our minds. When I first came out, roughly four years ago, I was aching so much to become an activist that I really wore myself out, as well as everyone around me! I now have a long list of conditions I have to give myself in order to be radical but still enjoy the world we are currently living in.
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