When I kissed her, she didn’t feel any different? It didn’t feel like I was kissing a girl, not a boy.
A spate of petitions have drenched the halls of various Higher Courts of our country. They carry within them hope for change, but also elicit other peculiar emotions within. This portentous event promises a plethora of possibilities, but not all of them seem good. If parts of the community do get the right to marry, what then? There’s relief, but there’s also fear.
I wish I could be as bold as you,
Scream as coherently as you,
But all I have is a wave of volcanic anger
Trapped in the closet of my heart.
To me, neuroqueer does not have a fixed definition. It’s not what you are, but what you do. It is how who you are expresses itself (or doesn’t) in your everyday life; it is a verb, rather than a noun or adjective.
Oddly, neither my therapist’s worksheets nor her sessions ever helped me understand my sexuality. It was an elephant in the room, one that I could neither name nor recognize, thanks to unspoken, yet pervasive heteronormativity and misogyny.
Gender identity and expression should not be a reason for bullying children or anybody else, for that matter. Applying makeup or showing interest in dressing up in any manner does not make anybody more or less human, nor does it have anything to do with being a man.
After a lot of research and self-exploration, I finally accepted myself the way I am and that was the day the real battle started. I had to face a lot of questions regarding my appearance from my so-called relatives and neighbors.
I started with a smile to make it look like the topic could not have been more suitable, masking my disdain for it. But as I spoke, only my face wore the mask of smiles, my words did not. As my brain ran out of words to put together in front of a crowd, my heart felt the need to help!
Cages of patriarchy
Bias, gender norms of society,
The institutionalised oppression
Of our challenging beauty.
Yes, I will always be a bisexual
Like you will always be heterosexual
In that you won’t act out on your attraction
Towards another woman
And will respect us
For as long as we both shall live
I’d be lying if I said I was one of these people – because I had everything. A loving group of friends, with whom I could spill my entire heart and more, teachers who made sure the bridge we walked was steady and strong.
One night and one conversation
I'd ask you if you loved me
when you were sober
In the past 4 years, I have been able to accept myself and be proud about my sexuality all because of the safety I was feeling however I was beginning to feel less and less safe as I saw the political events unfold around me.
i want the aesthetic of your femme presentation
i want your top vs. bottom
i want your queer vs. woman
We move on, leave people behind
Yet; the closet,
does not forget
and holds the power
to unexpectedly remind
I lie down on my bed,
I lie down on my bed & look at the ceiling-
And I think how all of my family members deserve to get awarded
Because of their brilliant acting skills.
This piece is a recollection of my Petrarchan adoration of the woman, who helped me come to terms with a significant part of my identity.
Am I the labels i was born with or bestowed upon me?
Every Valentine’s Day gig I’m offered, I’m performing along with a cis-man because the hotel wanted a “boy-girl duet” to up their romance quota. This triggers bouts of dysphoria because my voice is what puts me in the “girl” category in such gigs. While being a transman is a part of my identity, being a musician is an even bigger part.
As the months passed, I was running out of reasons to convince my brain that I was heterosexual. The only straw I was holding on to was that I knew for sure I’d been attracted to boys. I knew I liked them, in the way that the movies told me I was supposed to. But I didn’t know how to tell the difference between really wanting to be friends with a girl and being attracted to her.