I shall retrace our footsteps- which do not exist anymore, a thousand times over. Then visit the quaint little bookshop we went to, sit in a corner, unobserved & longingly sigh.
An intellectual phenomenon, almost
Ready for you to stare at but never touch
And debate what these clothes mean, this hair, this skin, this nail hanging limply at the end of my
An armchair critic up to the age of 30. I finally decided to take the plunge and come out publicly in 2004. I had been out to close friends and family for a decade. The catalyst for my activism was the Islamist movement and its growing influence within communities like mine in Luton.
The queer girl’s reality is all expectation and inevitable let-down. Like a bad rollercoaster. Or someone telling you something is “super spicy” and it isn’t.
160 films from 43 countries were screened across a span of five days starting from 12th June to 16th June. Although I could attend only the last three days, I had a blast at Kashish and also learnt a lot.
Being the only child was hard for me. Throughout the years, I kept to myself and accepted myself and still felt like I was the only South Asian Muslim in this world.
I'm openly Bisexual, and I hate that label. All labels, for that matter. Gender, as I've come to know, is abstract.
I wish I could have come out to you before you left. I wish I had just five more minutes with you, to tell you all about me.
One such hurdle I am currently trying to overcome, is understanding my sexuality. Most of us go through phases where we question or experience something unique in terms of relationships and the kind of love we accept.
Here, bisexuality is more like
like gay, but not gay enough,
like double the options (or so you think)
but eight times the panic.
People putting up the pride flag outside Sambhaji Park where we were to assemble for the pride, community friends hugging each other, I just felt like I was among my people.
An abnormality he thought,
And then with himself he fought.
He thought of himself as foul,
So god's help he sought.
But contrary to my imaginations of it being fun, polyamory turned out to be a piece of work! You had to make time for multiple people, albeit in different capacities, and be honest with each one of them, including yourself.
From the deep, deep world of fandom and AUs, gay couples made their rounds as the side story of many YA books and Wattpad fiction I devoured as I grew up.
Like a panacea, a magic formula for all sickness
Or the ancient supercontinent Pangaea,
Panromantic and Pansexual is an affinity
Less to do with gender and more to do,
I stand still looking down at your hand holding the knife,
My body is trembling with fear but you want me to pay you with my life.
The spectators want me to plead for forgiveness in this time,
So forgive me, for I didn't know love was a crime.
A piece of adhesive
Of the colour red.
The scream of a woman -
“Chakka hai ki ladki?”
Her spectacled eyes
Upon my bindi.
All my three years as an undergraduate in sound school, I was the only girl in an entire batch of around 70 students. I figured I’d have no problem blending in with other boys as I always thought we were very much alike. But apparently, they didn’t see it that way.
A lot of people have questioned my gender identity. I have a rather dominant masculine exterior which is often mistaken for me wanting to be a man.
I don't see my queerness or my non-binaryness as the only relevant thing about me. But often, without my consent, it becomes the only thing relevant about me for others, especially in public, which in turn forces me to constantly perform to be allowed some basic things.