Agneepath, Queer Azaadi And The Goons

Why am I writing this post on Gaysi?

I’m being the bitch, and ‘cos Hrithik graced the private screening “Agneepath” (2012) in Mumbai for the Queer Azaadi Mumbai 2012 organizing members and supporting personalities. L, G, B, T, H, I, K, Q and the rest of the Queer Alphabet were touched by Hrithik’s warmth and friendliness. And like MJ said it, we’re pimping Bollywood honey!

I don’t think it’s fair to compare the 1990 movie with the 2012 re-make/revamp/vamped version. Couple of things that definitely went wrong in Agneepath 2012:

–          the Censor Board’s license – U/A – really? how are children supposed to watch a post-rape scene, couple of bloody murders and extreme violence in the name of a ‘storyline’ and still stay awake at night? Or refrain from trying some of the stuff out?

–          Hrithik’s character has no consistency in the adult role unlike Amitabh – he’s weak even when he faces Kancha (Sanjay Dutt) in Mandwa. He’s not so weak, when he faces his not-so-bold or non-dramatic mother. –

–          Supporting characters: Kali, Shiksha, Inspector Gaitonde – are less impressive, since the violence of Kancha and the bloodthirst- not-so-clever Vijay fill the screen.

–          Rauf Lala (Rishi Kapoor) is a brilliant character, but somehow lacking a decent end. Could’ve been a lot more emphatic towards the ‘death’

–          The whole progression of Vijay Chauhan from kid to Don is somewhere amiss – nobody can really say the 1990 dialogues of “Vijay Chauhan, Vijay Deeanath Chauhan” etc quite like Amitabh did.

–          Suhasini Chauhan (Zarina Wahab) is utterly small and boring against an imposing Rohini Hattangadi, who makes Amitabh Bacchan shiver, sweat, cry and yearn for love. In fact, the mother who hates him for his violence, in the 2012 movie, later on almost cheers him towards killing Kancha

–          The villagers of Mandwa are shown as ultra-dumb, money-minded people. Really? Will anyone in this age even be able to relate to that? Satanic colonies that trade cocaine? Mafia that is only full of venom, blood and the Kolaveri (urge to kill)?

–          Hijras shown as clever, scheming people is okay. But as violent mobs? Dagger and knife-armed killers? Come on! Get a life! I know we’ve not portrayed Hijras in Bollywood for quite some time, but then comes this ghastly, scary image of the queens. Don’t compare them with the buggers in Ninja Asssassin.

–          Chikni Chameli – I’d anyday prefer the Kombdi Padali version, but we gotta give it to Katrina – brilliant dancing. Btw, is she trying to reach Audrey Hepburn’s waist-size?

–          Kancha – seems like a master-villain, but again, what does he smuggle? Isn’t he supposed to be rich and famous? Why is he only a don controlling a small village, that’s not shown to export millions of kilos of Cocaine or trade with the outside world? Quite weird, no? In all, I think the movie was a disaster.

If Dharma Productions hope to get their 62 Crore INR back, they gotta make movies better than this. And let’s not compare this to anything from Kaminey or Scarface. Not even dust.

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Distracted as ever - by life and its vibrant hues, Srini discovered writing recently when a bushy eye-browed Muse with luscious lips tickled his senses with her couplets. Fat man grew up to be a fitness conscious cook, a gardener by grandma's inherited green thumb and an Agnostic who used to believe in myriad rituals and gods and goddesses of the Southern landscapes, landscapes where rice paddies and Gopurams made people believe in the gifts of music, culture, art and nature's miracles. With a face that's expressive enough to throw off a couple of stubborn people off their stools, and an arse that can dance to drum and base, he's constantly trying to bridge his semi-German thoughts with his roots back in the Land of the Peppers. He writes, occasionally.

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