I can’t remember the first time I saw Rakhi Sawant. Maybe it was in one of those reality shows that she participated in, in the 2000s.
What I do remember is that I immediately liked her and was drawn to her. Her confidence, broken English, vibrant energy and flashy clothes entertained me. And the fact that she was a reality TV star was icing on the cake. But it wasn’t these factors that made me appreciate her. In those days we had a plethora of reality TV stars on Hindi channels. Some sang. Some danced. Some fought. And some entertained us with their idiosyncrasies. But there was Rakhi, who was different from her contemporaries. And special. She wasn’t like those pretty, naive bahus who wept for men on screen. Neither did she act coyly repressing her sexuality and saving it for a man. Instead, she was a cheeky and non-conforming woman who openly embraced her sexuality, carving out her own identity in music videos that catered to the male gaze. Rakhi was the kind of woman who made sure she made her presence felt.
Born into a working class family, Rakhi Sawant had to struggle to get to where she was. Unlike most actresses, she wasn’t born into a film family that could support her career in Hindi films. So Rakhi danced her heart out as a way to make a name for herself. Her performance in songs like Mohabbat hai Mirchi and Pardesiya (remix version) made her a household name and earned her the fame of the “item” girl in Bollywood.
However, the mainstream actresses who were initially reluctant to dance in item songs replaced her. But Rakhi was Rakhi. She didn’t let anyone get in the way of her determination to be number one. As reality television grew exponentially, she moved into television shows and found new ways to entertain us.
I still remember watching her bachelorette show Rakhi Ka Swayamvar religiously. It was the first time I had ever seen a woman go out in public to find a suitor for herself. She might have done the show for money (which she proudly admits), but for my naive brain that was struggling to understand my queer attractions, it was groundbreaking as she was out there searching for the love she deserved. With this show, she gave me hope that a person who doesn’t fit into society’s box can still demand the love they want in their life.
Apart from the show, Rakhi acted in several other productions. She did a movie with Farah Khan and Yash Raj Films. Her interview with Karan Johar for “Koffee with Karan” was also the talk of the town when it premiered as she openly admitted that she went under the knife to enhance her body parts. Her openness was ridiculed, but to me it was a brave act. Her confession made her honest and vulnerable — something Bollywood superstars still lack.
However, her film career didn’t last long. She wasn’t of any use to Bollywood as it had already found a new set of women to attract audiences. But who could stop Rakhi from entertaining us, right?
In 2014, she even formed her own party called “Rashtriya Aam Party,” which she later disbanded after getting only 15 votes in the election.
With the advent of the digital age, Rakhi slowly started losing her appeal. There were Poojas and Urfis to replace her. She wasn’t the only source of entertainment now, nor was she the only person challenging the idea of celebrity. But in the last few years, Rakhi found ways to entertain the audience with new strategies and tactics. She crossed all boundaries and became what the current generation uses most — memes.
Her videos “Main Ek Zinda Lash Hu” and “Talking to my A-Double-S” have become a cultural zeitgeist, as they have found their way to our mobile screens.
For what she does, Rakhi deserves a round of applause. In a world where celebrities and influencers are easily replaced, Rakhi has made sure to stay relevant. However, she has made many problematic statements in her career that are hard to ignore. She was one of the people who vocally invalidated Tanushree Dutt when she shared her sexual harassment story in 2018. She has also used homophobic remarks against queer people, which is unacceptable.
The biggest conundrum is, however, that Rakhi is the same person who comforted several queer people like me who rarely got to see themselves and their desires represented in Indian pop culture.In an industry obsessed with testosterone-driven heroes flaunting their machismo, it was Rakhi who set me free by breaking the gender expectations people have of how a “good” female actor should look and behave.
She was truly an unhinged icon who subverted ideas of gender performativity.Her non-conformity, over-the-top persona and uninhibited display of sensuality in item songs made me feel validated and seen, which rarely happened.
All I want to say is thank you Rakhi. You saved my life in the same way that Madhubala and Sridevi did for my ancestors. You were truly a queer icon for me as your unabashed performance of sexuality, gender non-conforming attitude and campiness liberated me from the shackles of heteronormativity that always repressed my queerness.
Years later, when I watched Pardesiya, I still remember how a small child in Kathmandu (me) found joy in a woman who unabashedly flaunted her sexuality and desires without inhibition or fear of judgment. And how I hoped to be like her when I grew up.
