Reviews

‘One Night Only’ But Might Stay With You Longer. Here’s Why

Some publishing houses told me that [Rubani] doesn’t have a happy ending because she doesn’t end up with a man! Some felt that their readers would not resonate with a bisexual protagonist.

A few weeks ago, I caught up with Saumyaa Vohra to talk about her debut book, One Night Only, which was released in May this year. I was more than excited to finally be able to discuss a book that I related to on so many levels with the author themself! The piece I have written as a result is neither an interview nor a review. Instead, I will leave you with 4 reasons that will help you decide if this is a book you want to pick up.

Read One Night Only for the…

… Bisexual protagonist!

One Night Only centers the story of Rubani, a bisexual woman and her friends, who have a certain degree of privilege and hail from an urban social setting, similar to the author’s. “I didn’t want to write this story set in a sort of heartland of India setting, because I don’t know that and it’s not my story to tell,” Saumyaa, who is Bengaluru-bred and Delhi-based, explained. “I firmly believe in people’s agency to tell their own stories. It bothers me when cis-men will call me to write articles about bisexual women.” This gaze often relegates bisexual people’s stories to inspiration porn about coming out and embracing their “true selves”. Obviously, there’s a lot more to our stories than just the labels.

Despite this privilege and freedom, there is still a lot that is buttoned-up in this section of society, and that is exactly what Saumyaa hopes to unpack through her book. “That’s part of what holds us back in a lot of ways, in the same way that I didn’t believe that I could have written this book earlier. We don’t expect there to be judgment-free spaces that can hold our muddled thoughts or our questions about the constructs of relationships. I wanted to write this book as a sort of safe space for readers.”

In our conversation, she also pointed out how bi-erasure often means that bi people end up coming to terms with their bisexuality later in their lives (as opposed to during adolescence, the traditionally-assigned period for self-discovery). “Most bi people do not pay attention to that feeling of ‘different-ness’ from the norm for a long time, because you’re also the same. Besides, queerness is deeply linked to suffering in all our heads. So, as a straight-passing bisexual person, I would often feel like I had not suffered the way others had been persecuted. So we tell ourselves that we are not queer enough, because we don’t have to deal with the rigours of navigating society as a queer person, the way, say a trans-person would. I put that into Rubani’s story as well, and it was meant to be cathartic to readers contemplating their own sexuality in a similar way.”

… Friendships that form the chosen family!

“In my own life, my friends have played an important role. This is quite intentionally reflected in One Night Only where although the characters’ families are described, they are never really part of the book,” Saumyaa pointed out while speaking with me. Her queer ethos about finding chosen family through friendships is something that people will likely resonate with in the community.

While pitching the book, Saumyaa was insistent that ONO be published by a mainstream publishing house, as she wanted them to invest in telling stories beyond the normative. “I am tired of books with queer characters being relegated to indie publishing houses. I wanted my book to be out there across bookstores. Some publishing houses told me that [Rubani] doesn’t have a happy ending because she doesn’t end up with a man! Some felt that their readers would not resonate with a bisexual protagonist.”

Saumyaa’s story about finding a suitable publishing house does have a happy ending though – she ended up finding 3 publishing houses after 7 long months, before she settled on Pan Macmillan.

The controversial ending in question? “The ending doesn’t wonder if Rubani will find a man or learn to love again,” Saumyaa clarified. “I don’t know if she will and I am not invested in that! But through the course of taking a vacation with her best friends, she comes back having questioned certain ideas that she had of herself, and having deepened the connections that really mattered to her – that with her friends! The big romantic gesture in the book is that 3 friends put aside their lives and took off 9 days to take a vacation to Goa with [her]. Who does that for you in this day and age?”

The dynamic in the women’s friendship is delightfully layered, without merely depicting feminist camaraderie as extremes of yas-girl!-ism or frenemy-ships. It also explores jealousy as an emotion that rears its head even outside of romantic relationships, which is rarely acknowledged! “The idea was to portray female friendships in a more real way than pop culture currently does. I have felt jealous of my friends at times or compared myself with them, and felt a little pinch when I haven’t been able to rise to the same level of a friend’s success. It’s the most normal thing in the world for friendships to be layered with insecurity, jealousy, comparison, to feel threatened by their other friendships, to feel a certain claim over someone you’ve known longer… possessiveness is not purely romantic! It’s an organic part of friendship and it makes them stronger for that – to feel all these emotions, because you’re emotionally invested and love each other.”

In her book as in her life, Saumyaa challenges this hierarchy by developing a dynamic between the characters that keeps you hooked. “Very often friendships are treated as a ‘side-thing’, an accessory to your life. It’s supposed to be understood that if you have to do something with your husband or partner, that will take precedence over friendships. People disappear into their marriages or return to their friendships once they’ve broken up. My own long-term partnership has never diminished the close friendships that I have, and I wanted to represent that in the book. My friendships are a source of strength that nothing else can parallel, including romantic partnership. The happy ending of this book is that they all come back closer.”

… Self-exploration beyond coming out!

How do bisexual people, especially women, explore their sexuality in a society that slut-shames them and stereotypes them? During our conversation, Saumyaa and I traded stories about how people like cab-drivers and policemen had tried to shame us for being in public spaces at night or in the company of men by calling us “prostitutes”. Both our responses in these situations was to defend sex work as a profession worthy of dignity and respect and therefore not something to distance ourselves from, leaving these men befuddled.

In the book too there is a conversation between friends about how hookups are associated with “that type of a girl”. Saumyaa explains: “That conversation was not about the women distancing themselves from the concept of being sluts. It was them feeling peeved with the idea of being shamed for being [sex-positive]. There is this construct that there are 2 types of girls – girls who don’t do ‘that’ and the girls who do. We should all be [glad to have the privilege] to be ‘one of those girls’.” After all, the rights that several waves of the feminist movement have fought hard for are not mere trophies to be displayed, but fruits of generational labour to be relished.

Saumyaa elaborates on this: “Rubani comes from a privileged household where her parents are accepting of her sexuality. They did not raise her with threats of abuse or violence if she chose to explore it. Even then she has this idea about ‘that type of girl’ and it’s her own construct of acceptability, and her friends challenge that! Her friends have different identities, there is somebody who has been single all her life and who is now in a monogamous relationship, somebody who married young and is in a consensual non-monogamous relationship (happy endings don’t have to be monogamous! Why isn’t popular literature reflecting that?), somebody who is seen as ‘chronically single’ – I wanted to normalize being friends with people whose relationship style is different from your own! Our friend group does not have to be homogenous. Through her friendships, Rubani learns to embrace sex-positivity for herself.” It’s worth noting that bisexual people are often labeled as hypersexual, promiscuous, or as unable to commit ‘to a side’, which may drive some of us into hiding or shunning our own sexuality.

… Genre-busting vacation read that it is!

“My issue with the traditional chick-lit genre is that there are a lot of tropes. The heroine is usually this bubbly, lovable character, and then there is this man who is always rich and handsome. And she starts off by saying something like not him, anybody but him[, but they end up together]. It’s 2023, this is not our story and this is not our happy ending. The people who are looking for these kinds of happy endings have enough and more of that! It’s the easiest genre to find. But where is that book about those good moments [in a relationship] that doesn’t result in forever. Why is ‘forever’ so important and stuffed down the throats of women, in particular? For a lot of women, marriage is a major milestone, but I don’t know any men who have been raised with that goal in mind.”

Read the book for the sensual descriptions that are affectionate and even erotic (not necessarily sexual!) without pandering to the male gaze. Affection, to me, is innately queer in most, if not all, of us. And it does not have to always turn into lust, regardless of the sexualities of the people involved. Even if it does, the people don’t always have to act on it, unless it is consensual. This theme of erotic affection emerged time and again in the dynamic of the characters that Saumyaa has created.

When asked about it, Saumyaa said: “This was intentional because the reader is often told things like a character is ‘beautiful’ or ‘stunning’ by the narrator. This bothers me because whose standards are we judging by? I wanted to give the reader some imagery to work with based on how I had imagined the characters as well, without passing judgment on it. There was also a very specific reason for the women describing each other. When women look at themselves, they are usually self-critical, because we are taught to do that to keep our bodies in check. Self-confidence in women is rarely well-received in society. But the way the women who love them would describe them would be very different… it would be with fondness. I wanted to write the characters through the gaze of their best friends who love them.”

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Tejaswi is journalist and researcher whose attention is captured by post-colonial human relationships at a time of the Internet of Things. She can't wait to become a full-time potter soon, though!

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