I know, I know- Valentine’s month is a capitalist nightmare for a lot of people, with heart-shaped things haunting you as you are just trying to go about your life. But I am a cheesy person who loves love and firmly believes that there is nothing wrong with using an occasion to shower a little more of it.
Last year, I broke up with someone who I have been dating since I was a teenager. It was a happy and healthy relationship, which means that we both had space to love ourselves along with loving each other and we cheered for the other’s growth. For example, last year on Valentine’s Day I bought gorgeous white lilies for myself – distinct from our celebration together – because ‘I can buy myself flowers’ should not be a sentiment reserved only for those who are not in a romantic relationship.
Internal love and external love are both important, and neither is a substitute for the other. So taking care of myself will not be a new thing exclusive to this month (though I have been going the extra mile). Instead, maybe, my new thing can be watching movies and shows that make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. As a self-confessed romantic I must admit that there is a long list of those, but here are some that are my absolute favourites:
The Addams Family: My current dating app profile says something like ‘It’s meant to be if you also want to slow dance your way into old age.’ And this sentiment is a result of watching Morticia and Gomez waltz on screen and feel disappointed when it has been ‘hours’ since they last did it. How is anyone supposed to look at the electric chemistry and passion between the two of them and not want to manifest their dancing ritual? Is it really too much to ask for slow dancing in the kitchen every evening after we tell each other about our day?
Anne Plus: This feel-good movie revolves around a queer protagonist who is trying to navigate a newly-opened relationship along with an upcoming move. The element of self-discovery is gorgeous and heartwarming without being preachy, and the story gives Anne the space to breathe, explore, and just be. Not to mention that there is a fabulous scene in which Anne and her friends try drag for the first time! The warmth and fuzz in this movie comes from the tonality which does not treat things like make-or-break but like possibilities and opportunities for learning new things about yourself.
What We Do In The Shadows: This show focuses on the trope of ‘found family’, which in my eyes is the ultimate Valentine’s Day theme because there is so much love in those two words. It is specifically about a found queer vampire family that lives together in a creaky house. Everyone sleeps with everyone but there is zero jealousy (perhaps a few centuries of living together does that to you) and they are always off on a (mis)adventure together. The costume design is brilliant, because of course, queer vampires will be the most well-dressed folx on the planet. It is a hilarious show – to the point where I had to pause to laugh even on rewatches.
Portrait of a Lady on Fire: Yes, this one is waaaay more intense than the other movies on this list, but my heart completely melts when I think of “you dreamt of me?” “no, I thought of you.” It is a beautiful interaction with an important reminder of intentionality and purposefulness being important pillars of love. Plus their slow burn romance is swoony in the best way. I also love that some important scenes involve a kitchen, because it is a place of comfort and conversation. Most importantly, it has a lot of eye contact which I am always, always a sucker for.
Schitt’s Creek: I said warm and fuzzy in the introduction so obviously this show is going to be on the list. Whether it is the episode where Patrick sings ‘simply the best’ to David or the one where Alexis learns how to take time for herself and not jump from one relationship to the other, there are so many precious moments on this show that make it what it is. My personal favourite is David and Stevie sitting in the honeymoon suite with face masks on, while telling each other: ‘You are my best friend’, right after running to the bathroom with upset stomachs. If that is not love, I don’t know what is.